Live Blog: Friends, 1.04 The One with George Stephanopoulos

Continuing to make my way through Friends, one episode at a time. Please enjoy as I share my thoughts on the fourth episode.

1.04 The One With George Stephanopoulos

– I love that Joey confuses omnipotent with impotent. It’s even better when he thinks Ross is impotent. Doesn’t Joey realize that Ross’s ex-wife is pregnant? How does he think that happened?

– Sleeping in public is creepy. I can’t tell you the number of times I have woken up being stared at by strangers because I accidentally dozed off in a public place. Like the bathroom in my dorm.

– I want to go to the Grand Canyon. I feel like it’s a place people only go in movies and on TV shows.

– Please do not make me imagine old people having sex. I kind of threw up in my mouth.

– I WANT TO GO TO HOCKEY. I don’t care if it isn’t my birthday. I will totally take the ticket.

– Do people really keep track of the anniversary of the first time they had sex? That is so bizarre. I have never kept track of that. I really hope no one I have been with has either. This is going to prompt a lot of odd conversations.

– So Rachel got her job at the coffee shop at the end of the first episode. At least a month had passed between the first episode and the second. She’s just getting her first paycheck now? Do they only pay her quarterly or what?

– I enjoy Phoebe’s randomness. The mine/Dairy Queen correlation (or lack thereof) is hilarious to me.

– How much did Rachel get paid? I know New York City is expensive but if they’re only paying her by the quarter, then that should be a hefty check.

– You can only tell a woman she is so big when she is pregnant. And even then it’s super offensive.

– Please make these women stop shrieking. Especially the one named Kiki. Also, I’m going to start giving a yell of excitement for my elbows.

– Why would you leave your shoes on when you have sex Carol? Unsanitary. Extra unsanitary if food is involved.

– Phoebe’s pajamas are AMAZING! I want striped footy pajamas. I also want a rum punch drink.

pajamas

– I own the exact same pajamas as Monica. I don’t know if I’m cool with that.

– Why don’t more people have sleepovers? Sometimes I want to play a bunch of board games, eat junk food, watch girly movies, and stay up late chatting. LET’S BRING BACK SLEEPOVERS!

– Was Carol the first woman that Ross slept with? That’s the only reason I could think of that Ross would remember EVERY detail of their first sexual encounter.

– I am also really big on yelling at hockey games. It’s my favorite reason for going to sporting events in general.

– Why isn’t the nurse completely satisfied with her candy bar? She didn’t get enough nutty goodness?

– Shouldn’t Ross be gushing blood from A HOCKEY PUCK HITTING HIS FACE?

– This is the most depressing sleepover I have ever witnessed. Who cares if you don’t have a plan? You have pizza! Pizza is the greatest. A fat-free crust? I’m pretty sure that doesn’t exist.

depressing

– How does someone have “curiously intelligent good looks”? I’m going to start describing people that way.

– I also only have a vague idea of who George Stephanopoulos is. Thank you Wikipedia, for informing me that he is journalist and former political advisor.

800px-George_Stephanopoulos_April_2009

– Why are the girls spying on a guy across the street that MIGHT be George? That is the creepiest thing I have ever seen. It only got creepier when Monica described him as a preppy animal.

– Joey is like a kiddie ride? That sounds really horrible. Early shades of Monica and Chandler. Ross is the opposite of sexy. And never smooth. These girls are all on crack. I really don’t want to picture Ross in bed either. It makes me feel sick.

– I totally called Carol being Ross’s first!!! He’s only slept with one woman and he is 26? I can’t decide if that sucks or is awesome.

– It’s not funny to feed meat to vegetarians. As a vegetarian, I would be super pissed. Monica could have made Phoebe really sick.

– Pee pants?! My mission as a child was to get my friends to laugh so hard that they peed their pants. Sadly (or perhaps luckily) I never succeeded.

– At no point in this episode has Ross looked with he had a broken nose. Also, WTF is that splint?

splint

– Now I really want to play Twister. Someone please come play with me?

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