For Your Consideration: Freaks and Geeks, 1.03 “Tricks and Treats”

I really love the Halloween episode of Freaks and Geeks. Lindsey is trying to fit in with the freaks by acting like a teenager’s vision of an adult (aka not like an adult at all) while Sam and his geek friends desperately cling to childhood by trick or treating. The two collide with mildly disastrous results. Throw in parents dressed in costumes and you have yourself an awesomely realistic depiction of Halloween for teenagers.

OBSERVATIONS

Anyone feel like a cayenne pepper, mustard, pickle juice, salt, sardine, soy sauce, vinegar, chili, grape jelly, dairy creamer, and after dinner mint shake? It bubbles! I remember being in elementary school, mashing up various lunches and offering to pay boys in the class to eat it. It’s nice to know that Bill is just a slightly more grown up version of the boys I went to primary school with. It’s also worth noting that Bill feels like he has to tell his friends not to put poisonous chemicals in their concoction. Does he really think that they’re going to try to kill him?

There is not enough money in the world to make me drink this.

There is not enough money in the world to make me drink this.

Did a pumpkin really cost $0.20 in 1980? I’m pretty skeptical about this one, sorry Mr. Weir. Now a days a pumpkin at the grocery store is running around $8. I’d love to travel back to 1980 and buy $20 worth of pumpkins. And carve EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Sam and Lindsay have a cute moment when he asks her for the prize in the cereal. When I was that age I would have kept it just to be a dick to my brother. Their relationship is (obviously) much sweeter and I get a kick out of watching the little moments of sibling love that they share.

I would be laughing maniacally while my brother cried in the corner.

I would have been laughing maniacally while my brother cried in the corner.

Mrs. Weir wants her little boy to remain a kid so badly. Mr. Weir, on the other hand, would rather not have his son “walking around the neighborhood, begging like a tramp”. I must disagree with him on one point- Halloween is not for little kids.

I think we all know guys like Neal. He’s super gullible and believes every single story he’s told, including the one about seniors celebrating the day before Halloween by spraying freshmen with hair removal cream. Somewhere deep inside he must know that this sounds completely insane. What I really love about the scene is Bill’s willingness to call Neal out when he tries to cover by saying he was just goofing around after Lindsay tells them it’s not true.

Poor Millie. She really wants Lindsay to be her friend. I would go to the church Halloween dance with you Millie. We could Monster Mash the night away, eating all the Fun Dip our bodies could handle.

Millie is kind of the most awesome character on the show. She just waltzes right over to Daniel’s piece of shit car and starts asking him questions about how fast it goes and telling him that her dad once threw a rock at it. And she offers Kim Kelly, probably the scariest girl in school, some of her Fun Dip. Awesome.

I would also throw a rock at this hunk of junk.

I would also throw a rock at this hunk of junk.

I’m not entirely sure why the popular girls give Lindsay the hairy eyeball in the hallway. She’s hung out with the freaks a handful of times but she’s still an honor roll student. It’s not like she’s the pregnant girl in the class.

The geeks’ English teacher is holy unrealistic in expecting the students to read half of Crime and Punishment over a weekend. I’m a speed reader but even I find that to be unfair. She’s completely off her rocker.

Crime and punishment indeed.

Crime and punishment indeed.

Millie has a secret boyfriend that she kisses in the parking lot! BEST CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT EVER. I can’t remember if we ever see Tommy, Millie’s “secret love”, ever again. If so, can he please point out the section of the Bible that says you have to date a person for six months before tongue kissing them or you will go to hell? I don’t think I’ve ever read that part.

Lindsay is going to blow off handing out candy with Mrs. Weir because Millie has a boyfriend and she doesn’t. Also, it kind of makes me think that she secretly likes Nick and really does want to date him.

Mrs. Weir singing the Monster Mash at dinner is the most precious thing ever. My mom never sang at the dinner table. But maybe that’s a good thing. Don’t want your ears bleeding into your food! (Sorry Mom, I love you.)

Sam is SUPER ambitious to want to create a costume the day before Halloween. Homemade costumes take serious planning and work. When I was Jem from Jem and the Holograms (BEST COSTUME EVER), it took forever to find the right dress and matching shoes, make the hologram earrings and spray paint a wig hot pink.

He does manage to pull it off nicely.

He does manage to pull it off nicely.

Mr. Weir story time is the greatest! “There was this kid in my neighborhood when I was growing up- Scott Byron. He kept on trick or treating until he was well into his twenties. Do you know where he’s living now? At home! With his ninety year old mother. He’s the laughing stock of the community. Never took a wife either.”

Harris is joining in on the trick or treating despite the hippies injecting the candy with heroin. Or the folks who dip poo in chocolate and put them in fun-size candy bar wrappers.

Mrs. Weir is the greatest mom ever. She decorated the entire house and baked Halloween cookies. Her enthusiasm is contagious! Shame on Sam for dismissing her as goofy, saying he hates when she’s like that. We could all use more goofy moms.

Excellent use of music throughout the episode “Gonna Raise Hell”, “Roller”, and “Free-for-all”. I’m glad the directors waited to push the DVDs out until they could get the original music used in the network airing of the show.

Bill gets WAY into his costume preparation, complete with fake phone conversations. The real kicker is when his mom picks up the phone to make a call and hears him. I wish we could have seen her facial expression. I bet she was DYING of laughter.

How could you not laugh at this face?

How could you not laugh at this face?

Lindsay comes off as a creep by waiting until the very last minute to tell her mom that she isn’t going to hand out candy with her; she literally RUNS away. She already promised she would and I’m a firm believer in keeping promises. Plus Mrs. Weir is just crushed.

The freaks think that an adult Halloween consists of howling out of windows, driving around to see where the night takes them, hitting mailboxes with bats, and smashing pumpkins. That sounds like a teenagers’ idea of Halloween.

This is NOT how adults celebrate Halloween. We have kick ass parties with expensive costumes.

This is NOT how adults celebrate Halloween. We have kick ass parties with expensive costumes.

Mrs. Weir has such a sad when the bitchy neighborhood lady calls her crazy for offering the kids homemade cookies. She doesn’t even want to take advantage of sexy alone time with Mr. Weir. Also, why are parents dumping cookies on the Weir’s lawn? Throw them in a trash bin at home if you absolutely have to get rid of them. Super disrespectful.

This is the saddest I've ever seen a human being.

This is the saddest I’ve ever seen a human being.

Alan always arrives to wreck the day. I get that he hates the geeks because he wants to be a part of the group but why are his friends bullying them too? They totally ruin Halloween, attacking Sam and company to steal their candy.

I find it unrealistic that Lindsay wouldn’t recognize Sam and his friends in their costumes. Sure, she says that Kim is blocking her view but she had to have seen them to know where to aim her egg.

Definitely missing the maniacal laughter.

Scumbag older sister.

I can’t believe that Sam doesn’t rat Lindsay and her friends out. My brother DEFINITELY would have told Mom that it was me. He took every opportunity he had to get me in trouble.

Lindsay finally does the right thing and puts on her costume to hand out candy with her mother. I don’t know why she didn’t do it from the beginning- the day would have been so much more fun. The kids that come to the door really are adorable. Maybe that’s the most unrealistic part of the episode.

COSTUME WATCH

Mrs. Weir as a cowgirl and Mr. Weir as a vampire

Mrs. Weir as a cowgirl and Mr. Weir as a vampire

Neal as Groucho Marx, Bill as the Bionic Woman, Sam as Gort the robot and Harris as a guy with a knife through his head

Neal as Groucho Marx, Bill as the Bionic Woman, Sam as Gort the robot and Harris as a guy with a knife through his head

QUOTABLES

KEN: “Why don’t you make out with my butt and we’ll call it love?”

BILL: “Ma’am, I hope there aren’t any peanuts in these peanuts because if there are, then I could die.”

MR. WEIR: “Jean, I don’t think there’s bearded ladies running around throwing eggs at kids. He means hippies.”

MR. WEIR: “Last time I had this much fun, I was pinned down in a foxhole by the North Koreans.”

LINDSAY: “Nothing like getting yelled at by dad when he’s dressed like a vampire, huh?”

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