Stefan is at the Salvatore Boarding House on a phone call with Klaus who is discussing the pros and cons of visiting Portland, Oregon. Stefan, showing a total lack of emotion, tells him that his father is dead. Klaus is shocked and asks for clarification so Stefan tells him that Mikael has been daggered. He wants to know what he should do with the body but first Klaus wants to know exactly what happened.
FLASHBACK! Well, kind of. One hour earlier- The gang are at the Salvatore House to discuss the story they’ll tell Klaus: Mikael grabbed Elena to use as bait so the Salvatore boys vervained him. During that time they discovered that Mikael had a dagger he planned to use on Rebekah but they used it on Mikael first. Elena asks them what happens when Klaus asks to see Mikael’s body. Stefan can’t lie to him thanks to the compulsion so Mikael agrees to be daggered in real life. He knows that news of his death will lure Klaus back to Mystic Falls and he will finally be able to kill him. Stefan questions how he intends to do that seeing as daggers don’t work. Mikael tells them that he has a stake carved from the ancient white oak tree hidden away. Mikael hands a dagger to Elena and tells her that she must be the one to use it. She seems nervous but a vampire can’t dagger an Original without dying.
Present- As predicted, Klaus tells Stefan that he wants to see Mikael’s “rotting body” himself. Stefan tells him to come on by and check it out. Klaus reminds him that he has been compelled and asks point blank if he is telling the truth.
One hour earlier- Elena drives the dagger through Mikael’s heart while Stefan looks on.
Present- Stefan tells Klaus that he saw the daggering with his own eyes. Klaus asks to speak to Rebekah so Stefan hands the phone over. She tells him that Mikael was “killed” and that she misses him. Stop makes me feel the feels. He tells her that he’ll be home soon and they hang up. Rebekah tells the group that Klaus bought their story and Elena pulls the dagger out of Mikael.
Rebekah paints her toes and watches over Mikael who is still unconscious on the floor. He starts to move around and gets up, coughing. Rebekah stops any touching father-daughter reunion so Mikael asks for his dagger. She tells him that Elena has it and warns him against trying to use it on her. He tells her that he was never after her and she argues that Klaus is her family so by being after Klaus, he was after her. I sucked at proofs in geometry but even I can see the flaw in her logic. Mikael is understandably defensive, seeing as how Klaus RIPPED HIS WIFE’S HEART OUT OF HER CHEST. Rebekah tells him that Klaus will pay for killing Esther with his life. Then she blames Mikael for turning the family into vampires and thereby murderers. She accuses him of destroying the family before storming off.
Elena stands in front of her closet looking at her gorgeous wardrobe, bitching about not having anything to wear for Homecoming. Seriously, have you seen this girl’s clothes? Bonnie, sitting on the bed looking at photos of cave drawings, suggests they skip the dance and order takeout. Elena reminds her that Caroline would kill them if they didn’t attend and Bonnie makes a crack about Caroline having a date. Elena gets super serious telling Bonnie she can talk to her about Jeremy. Um, or not. Bonnie is pretty cold and clinical about the whole Jeremy falling in love with his ghost girlfriend thing. She points out that Elena can’t get mad at Jer like she’s mad at him. For once she makes sense.
Elena is with Damon in his bedroom preparing weapons while telling him that she doesn’t think Rebekah can be trusted. She doesn’t think Beks will be able to turn her back on her brother even if he killed their mother. Damon tells her that he has made a super secret backup plan but refuses to share it. Stefan ruins the moment by entering the room and asking to borrow a tie. He makes a crack about Elena having bad luck before sauntering off. Elena picks up a wolfsbane grenade but Damon slaps her hand and takes it away from her. He’s concerned about her getting hurt. Sweet and obnoxious. I could never date a guy who slapped my hand away from weapons. Stefan reenters the room and is annoying. He is kind of a super douche, talking about how their plans are always ruined by someone’s humanity. Good thing he is totally missing his.
Caroline and Tyler are at the high school painting the old VW bus in the stoner den. Tyler wants to ditch out and tap a live vein but Care comes down firmly against it, especially when she hears that Tyler has been chatting with Rebekah. When Ty tells her that Rebekah is taking Matt to the Homecoming dance she kind of loses her shit. She starts ranting about Matt being a good person and Beks being an “evil blood slut”. Tyler doesn’t win any points when he points out that Matt is a guy and Rebekah is hot. He does make a great crack about being sired to Caroline when she accuse his sire bond of having a family extension.
Rebekah is in Stefan’s room getting ready for the dance at an embarrassingly early hour. Elena joins her and they have girl talk about it being Rebekah’s first high school dance. Beks asks if the plan to kill Klaus is all set then instructs Elena not to tell her anything about it. Elena thanks her for helping to get Klaus back in town. Rebekah warns her that nobody in her family can be trusted, including Mikael. She gets teary and begins talking about how she never thought she’ d be included in a plan to kill Klaus. She turns her back on Elena to admire herself in the mirror. Elena takes Esther’s hideous necklace and puts it around her neck. Rebekah thanks her and Elena responds by shoving a dagger through her back and into her heart. She apologizes as Rebekah dies, telling her that she can’t leave anything to chance.
Elena sits on Stefan’s bed while Damon covers Rebekah’s body with a blanket and comments on what a Katherine-esque move it was to dagger her in the back. Not exactly a compliment bro. Elena is worried that Stefan was right about someone’s humanity getting in the way and fears it will be her; she just cares too damn much. She asks Damon if he trusts Mikael and Stefan, and of course he doesn’t. She tells him that they need another plan which he already has in place. He thinks she’ll be angry because he doesn’t want her participating, instead telling her to trust him.
The fire brigade is at the high school, water pouring out from the building. Tyler tells Caroline that the gym is flooded so the dance will have to be cancelled. To say Caroline is upset is an understatement.
Elena is still at the Salvatore House when she gets a call from Caroline to tell her the Homecoming dance has morphed into a party at Tyler’s. Elena agrees to attend before hanging up. There is a knock at the door and Elena opens the door to find Matt. He is there is pick up his date who is currently daggered on the floor of Stefan’s bedroom. Elena asks how he would feel about attending with a backup date.
My Morning Jacket is playing on an elaborate stage in the backyard of the Lockwood Mansion. How did Tyler swing that one last minute? Caroline and Bonnie join the party and are equally mystified. Care comments on the situation being weird before leaving to find Ty. Does anyone else think he might have had something to do with the flooded gym?
Stefan is fortunate enough to run into Tyler who confirms what everyone is thinking: he’s throwing the party per Klaus’s request. Also, it’s not a party but a wake. Pretty morbid. They look on as Klaus take the stage to thank everyone for coming to celebrate with him.
Elena and Matt arrive at the dance and are immediately spotted by Caroline who comes over to tell them Klaus is there. Elena tells her she isn’t surprised by anything Klaus does and leaves to find Bonnie. Caroline immediately begins questioning why Matt is there with Elena instead of Rebekah but Matt doesn’t really answer instead leaving to grab a drink.
Elena watches as Klaus and Stefan walk around the party, having a chat. Klaus tells him that he plans to reunite his family now that Mikael is gone. He pauses briefly to ask where Rebekah is (Stefan doesn’t know) before demanding Stefan bring Mikael’s body to him. Stefan wonders what’s in it for him so Klaus promises to give Stef his freedom once Mikael is dead and his weapon is destroyed.
Damon is home enjoying a glass of blood when Mikael enters the room, inquiring if Rebekah has left for the dance. Damon lies through his teeth before asking to see the white oak stake. Mikael obliges but refuses to let Damon hold it. Damon cracks a joke about offering him a drink which leads to Mikael explaining that he only drinks from vampires. Ugh. Stefan interrupts the conversation to tell them Klaus wants Mikael brought to him. He checks and double checks that Damon has a plan, which he does. And it apparently involves Mikael feeding on Stefan until he passes out. Classy plan.
Tyler and Klaus have a heart to heart about the party guests. Klaus tells him that he has hybrids planted throughout the house to make sure Elena and company don’t try any funny business. He encourages Ty to warn his friends.
Tyler leads Caroline to his bedroom to verify that nothing hinkey is going down. She tells him that she doesn’t know anything but if she did she wouldn’t tell him on account of his being sired and therefore untrustworthy. She tries to return to the party but Tyler sticks her with a syringe and pumps her full of vervain until she is unconscious. Some Homecoming.
Klaus approaches Elena and offers her a drink but she isn’t up for small talk. He tells her that he’s impressed she daggered Mikael and she is vaguely threatening, reminding him that it wasn’t her first time sticking an Original. He warns her against planning any sort of attack on him, telling her that he is always one step ahead.
Damon walks up to the front door and is stopped by a hybrid who tells him the party is invite only. So Damon rips his heart out. My hero.
Matt has joined Tyler in room where Caroline is still knocked out. Ty begs him to get her out of the house before whatever plan against Klaus kicks into gear. He knows that he has to protect Klaus due to the sire bond but also wants to ensure her safety. It’s kind of sweet?
Tyler runs into Damon on his way downstairs and is shoved into an empty room. Damon attacks him and they start to fight. Bonnie enters and breaks it up, using her witch migraine spell to incapacitate both of them. Damon picks up the white oak stake that has fallen out of his jacket and returns it to it’s hiding place. Bonnie wonders aloud why he has it and he tells her he is the only one who can get inside of the house.
Klaus is playing beer pong when one of the hybrids approaches and tells him Mikael is there. He heads for the front door where his father is waiting outside. They both attempt to prove they have the bigger dick (metaphorically) by taunting each other. Klaus threatens to have the hybrids tear him apart but Mikael reminds him that he can compel them. Bonus points to Mikael for the big bad wolf reference. A female hybrid brings Elena to Mikael who threatens to kill her if Klaus doesn’t come outside. Klaus calls his bluff while Elena begs for her life. It’s all super intense and angsty. Finally Mikael tells Klaus his impulse is what keeps him from being great and then stabs Elena with a dagger. HOLY SHIT.
Damon sneaks up behind Klaus and twists him around, driving the white oak stake into his stomach. Elena gets up from the ground and Mikael calls her Katherine. IT WAS REALLY KATHERINE! In an act of supreme badassery, she uses two wolfsbane grenades to take out the hybrids at the door. It’s truly excellent.
Damon is about to stake Klaus in the heart when Stefan rushes in, knocking him off of Klaus and pinning him to the ground. Damon is just as confused as the rest of us. Klaus takes the stake and rams it into Mikael’s heart, causing him to burst into flames and die. WTF? I thought Mikael was supposed to be a killer vampire hunter. How did he die so easily?? Klaus releases Stefan of his compulsion, telling him that he is free. Stefan looks for Damon but he has fled the scene.
Caroline wakes up in her bed where Tyler has been waiting for her. He apologizes for vervaining her, saying it was to save her from her own stubbornness. She questions how she can be with him when he’s sired to Klaus, prompting him to have a mini-rant about needing her to understand him. He believes that Klaus can’t be killed and the sire bond can’t be broken so he needs Caroline to accept the person he is now. He begs her not to turn her back on him but the outlook is pretty grim.
Damon is with Elena at the Salvatore Boarding House, giving her a play by play of the evening. He’s upset that they thought of every possible outcome except Stefan flaking on them. He wastes a perfectly good bottle of scotch by throwing it into the fireplace. Dramatic, yes, but also stupid. Elena grabs his face and tells him they will survive. He doesn’t think they will ever get Stefan back so she tells him that they will let Stefan go. It’s kind of a touching moment.
A moment that is ruined by Katherine calling. She is going back on the run now that the Klaus plan failed. She does seem genuinely sorry that Klaus is still alive but I’m assuming that’s more out of self-preservation than anything else. They say their goodbyes and hang up. Katherine starts talking to someone in a car about how Damon doesn’t know where his plan failed. And that person is Stefan! He tells her that Damon doesn’t need to know so she stop the car all dramatically. She asks if he is good to get out of the car.
FLASHBACK! Stefan is on the floor after being incapacitated by Mikael’s attack. Katherine enters the house and finds him, offering him a blood bag.
FLASHBACK! Katherine is at the party talking to Klaus who thinks she is Elena (please see nervous GIF above). Their conversation continues beyond what was seen earlier. Klaus warns her that if Damon kills him, he has instructed his hybrids to kill Damon.
Present- Stefan asks Katherine how she knew he would stop Damon from killing Klaus. She tells him that she wasn’t sure but hopeful.
FLASHBACK! Stefan is drinking from his blood bag while Katherine tells him Damon will die if Klaus is killed. She begs Stefan to care enough to save Damon’s life. She really hammers home the whole Damon will be dead thing.
Present- Katherine tells Stefan that she wasn’t just trying to save Damon’s life, but his as well. She loved both of the Salvatore boys and her humanity prevents her from wishing them dead. Stefan tells her that he can’t turn his humanity back on because then he’ll have to feel all the feels about the horrible things he has done. Katherine insists he turn it back on so he can get mad. Mad Stefan is part of some nefarious plan she has? Good luck with that.
Rebekah’s phone rings next to her daggered body. Klaus leaves a voicemail telling her Mikael is dead and family reunion time is nigh. He receives a call from Stefan, thanking him for his freedom. While Stefan has a mini-rant about the cost of his freedom being too high, Klaus waltzes over to the moving truck he transports his family around in. Stefan mentions the concept of revenge as Klaus opens the truck, which is empty. All of the caskets are gone! Stefan is in a large room surrounded by Klaus’s caskets. Klaus immediately launches into threatens of death and destruction but Stefan counters by telling him that he kill never see his family again. Shit just got super real.
BODY COUNT: 5+
Rebekah (a little), Hybrid (heart ripped out), Unknown amount of hybrids (wolfsbane grenade), Mikael (multiple times but once for real)
DAMON: “Her lying, mama- killing, dagger- happy brother.”
CAROLINE: “O.k. first of all, I finally almost just got your mother to stop hating me- so I probably don’t wanna get caught in some weird vampire threesome with her son. And secondly, quit hanging out with Rebekah the evil blood slut.”
TYLER: “I’m here, hanging streamers and I have glitter all over my hands. If I’m sired to anybody it’s you.”