Recap That Noise: Vampire Diaries, 3.04 Disturbing Behavior

Klaus and Stefan are sitting in a clothing store in Chicago waiting for Rebekah who is trying on clothes. She makes a lot of the same remarks I do while shopping (e.g. the lack of cloth in today’s clothing). She’s also not a fan of today’s music, saying it sounds like a cable car accident. I kind of love Rebekah. She calls Klaus out on being a grump and mentions the lost necklace. Beks seems to be over that, instead asking Stefan if he likes her dress. He says he likes it and she responds by telling him that she can always tell when he’s lying. Useful skill. She goes to try on more dresses and Stefan steps out for fresh air. He sees Katherine across the street from the store and she motions toward him so he goes to join her.

Like a boss.

Like a boss.

Meanwhile, Damon and Elena are at her house cooking together. Damon gives her shit about bringing chili to the Founder’s potluck and it’s pretty adorable. Alaric joins them and gets to see the cute chili banter but obviously doesn’t find it as amusing as I do, questioning what Damon is doing at the house. Elena answers for him, telling Ric that Damon is waiting for her to snap now that Stefan dumped her. It sounds reasonable to me given Elena’s track record. She claims to be okay so Damon asks why she’s still wearing the ugly necklace from Stefan.

Flirt central.

Stefan confronts Katherine about what she’s doing in Chicago. She doesn’t really answer him, instead telling him that she knows Klaus is looking for Rebekah/Elena’s necklace. Stefan gets fed up pretty quickly and goes to leave but Katherine stops him, asking what his plan is. Stefan’s current plan consist of trying to keep them from figuring out where the necklace is. Katherine doesn’t buy what he’s selling and insists that he has another plan. Stefan keeps tight-lipped thanking Katherine for her concern before leaving.

Jeremy awakens in his bedroom and is surprised to see Anna lying next to him. He jumps out of bed, startled. She is happy that he can finally hear here, seeing as she’s been yelling his name for days. Chick needs to get a new hobby. She doesn’t understand why Jer can suddenly hear her until he admits to dreaming about her. They sit on his bed together, both in awe that they are communicating. SNORE.

The bell rings and Elena opens the door. It’s Caroline and surprise! Bonnie. WORST SURPRISE EVER. They hug it out while Bonnie says she just got back into town. Jeremy breaks up the girlfest by coming downstairs. Bonnie immediately rushes him, attacking with her lips. It’s a little awkward when he looks over her shoulder to see Anna watching them.

This is seriously the worst.

This is seriously the worst.

Liz walks down a random street with Damon, catching him up on the Bill/Caroline news. She has been detaining Bill, waiting for the vervain to leave his system so Damon can compel him. Damon is amazing and charming as usual, asking if they can kill Bill and cracking divorce jokes. I love Damon. They walk down the cellar beneath the jailhouse where Bill is bound to a chair. Damon drinks some of his blood to make sure he is free of vervain and compels him to leave town with a false memory of taking Caroline back to school shopping implanted.

Stefan rejoins Klaus and Rebekah at Gloria’s. Klaus is angry that Gloria is unable to find the necklace so Rebekah offers herself up as a talisman. She sits on a table while Gloria takes her hand and begins working some witchy magic.

The girls are sitting around the Gilbert kitchen bitching about their families. Bonnie complains about her dad’s family being normal (i.e. boring) while Caroline craves some normalcy since her dad tortured her. The topic quickly changes to chili and Damon. Elena chides the girls for being concerned about her spending time with him when she gives out a yell. She lifts her hideous necklace and the skin beneath it is burnt.

Gloria tells the gang that she can sense something, causing some major frown lines on Stefan’s forehead.

Elena is shocked that the necklace burned her and Caroline makes a snide remark about it being a sign for her not to wear it. You know, since she’s “cooking” without Stefan. Moments like these are when I wish Caroline was my BFF. Bonnie tells Elena to let her see the necklace. Meanwhile, Gloria casts a spell. Yet ANOTHER spell.

Bonnie receives a shock when she touches the necklace, causing Elena to drop the necklace.

Gloria tells the group that she found the necklace but can’t tell them where it is. All the info she can provide is that a girl and her friends have it. Klaus wants her to do some more magic but Gloria tells him that she needs time. She also uses the word ju-ju which makes me pee my pants a little because of all the laughter. Stefan suggests that they grab a bite to eat and leave Gloria to cast her spells.

The girls have moved from the Gilbert’s to the Lockwood Mansion though they are still talking about the necklace. Bonnie has her grimoire, looking for a spell that will help her find what kind of magic affected the necklace. While she casts the spell, Caroline confronts Elena about her switching Salvatores. I love that Caroline is such a straight shooter. She calls shenanigans as she sees them. Elena tries to downplay the obvious growing attraction between her and Damon, saying they are both just super invested in finding Stefan. Right… Caroline reminds her that Damon is kind of a creep and won’t change. Their girl talk in interrupted when the necklace starts levitating.

Preach it girl.

Preach it girl.

Damon is also at the Lockwood Mansion for the Founder’s potluck, surveying multiple pots of chili. It makes me chuckle. Ric joins him for a beer and some serious talk. He asks Damon to “take a beat with Elena”. He doesn’t think it’s a good idea for them to be spending so much time together. I love that Ric is stepping into a parental role with Elena and Jeremy. But I agree with Damon, he can’t really tell Damon what to do. Liz comes over to grab Damon for a secret council meeting.

Klaus and Stefan are on a couch in a warehouse drinking from two girls while Rebekah looks on. She complains that her girl is dead and she’s bored. Please don’t be whiny Beks! You have so much potential for awesomeness! Klaus and Stefan trade quips about Rebekah which makes her pouty. She doesn’t understand why she is being made out to look like a brat (um, maybe because if it quacks it’s probably a duck). Stefan leaves and Rebekah and Klaus are left to wonder what he’s up to.

Stefan at his creepiest.

Stefan at his creepiest.

Jeremy enters an empty room in the Lockwood Mansion and begins calling for Anna. She appears and gives him a little sass about not telling Bonnie he can see the dead. He doesn’t have a real answer so she changes the discussion to how they are communicating. If she pushes from her side and he pulls from his by thinking of her, bam! Communication. Jeremy ruins the moment by asking about Vicki. Anna tells him that she feels a darkness whenever Vicki appears to Jer. She tries to touch his hand but he doesn’t feel anything.

Stefan returns to Gloria’s and they discuss what she saw and heard when she was looking for the necklace- the girls talking about Stefan. He questions why she didn’t tell Klaus and it seems she has some sort of grudge against the handsome hybrid. She tells him that she wants the original witch’s necklace for herself so she is pretending to help. Stefan says that he can’t help her so she threatens to tell Klaus that he is keeping secrets. He attempts to charge at her but she pulls a Bonnie and gives him a magical migraine. Lame.

Stefan is now shirtless and lying on a table, incapacitated by a paralysis spell. Gloria has set the mood with some (read: a million) candles and a knife. She cuts his arm and collects his blood, telling him she’s going old school voodoo to get the info she wants. Bitch is crazy. She takes hooks and inserts them into his arm to stop him from healing. As his blood falls into the bowl on the floor (seriously, she couldn’t find something a little classier?), smoke appears. Gloria tells Stefan is it his essence/spirit and she can use it to communicate. She rubs vervain all over her hands and places them on his chest.

Super tacky.

Super tacky.

A secret council meeting has been convened at the Lockwood Mansion and all of the usual suspects are accounted for. Liz tells the group that there haven’t been any incidents since the spring and the group disperses with the exception of Carol, Liz and Damon. They are still present when Bill waltzes in and asks if they think the council members are clueless. Shock! Awe!

Bonnie and Jeremy are having date night in his bedroom. And by date night I mean that they are being super lame, reading grimoires by candlelight. Jeremy asks why Bonnie can’t contact the dead witches she channeled to save Elena and she tells him that they cut her off after she used her magics to bring him back to life. Little Gilbert, always screwing everything up. They have a moment that is interrupted when Anna appears behind Bonnie to tell Jer that “the darkness” is there. Suddenly the grimoires go up in flames, including the one in Jeremy’s lap. Bonnie uses her powers to put out the fires but they are both shaken. It’s too bad that arson has to come in to play to make these two interesting.

Gloria is still torturing Stefan at her bar. She uses some red powder to burn him and pull images from his mind of him giving the necklace to Elena. She describes his mushy gushy feelings for Elena and his need to protect her from Klaus. Stefan pleads with her to stop which only makes her dig harder, bringing forth images of the sun and moon sacrifices. Gloria begins to piece it all together, realizing that Elena is the doppelganger and her being alive is why Klaus can’t make any hybrids. Suddenly Katherine appears to call out the creepiness of the situation and stake Gloria through the neck. AWESOME.

Katherine is sometimes amazing.

Katherine is sometimes amazing.

Elena and Caroline remain at the Lockwood Mansion discussing the necklace. Caroline asks if Stefan ever gave Elena any back story, which of course he didn’t. Ric joins them and they prepare to leave. Elena asks where Damon is and Caroline is amazing, saying he is “probably off somewhere doing bad things to good people.” Caroline’s demeanor makes a sudden change as she spots her dad. She can’t deal and bails, heading upstairs to take a breather. Ric and Elena head outside where Damon finds them. He is pissed that Bill was able to resist his compulsion and threatened to reveal his vampirism. Bill also demanded that he be put in charge of the council and that vervain is put in the town’s water supply. Elena decides to take this moment to pipe up and say vervain in the water will be a good way for Damon is keep himself in control. This is, of course, the absolute WRONG thing to say. Damon flies off the handle, saying he should have killed Bill rather than try to compel him. He tells Ric to get out of his way and when he doesn’t comply, snaps his neck. Elena tries to pretend this is out of character which earns her a look for Damon takes off to hunt Bill.

Stefan has someone found a sheet in Gloria’s and is wrapping the bar’s namesake in it. Katherine looks on and shares what she thinks is Stefan’s plan: bond with Klaus to make Rebekah jealous. This doesn’t seem like a particularly devious plan. Also, who cares if Rebekah is jealous? Stefan listens but doesn’t confirm or deny, only telling Katherine that he doesn’t trust her. She reminds him that she saved his ass from Gloria so he spills a little: in the 20’s Klaus and Rebekah were running from someone. Stefan plans to find out why two Originals are afraid of a vampire hunter. Katherine tells him that she wants in on the plan but Stefan is bad now, telling her that he’s flying solo before leaving with Gloria’s body. Why doesn’t he just tell Klaus that Katherine is in town so Klaus kills her? It would earn his trust and get rid of Kathy.

Tyler enters his bedroom after football practice to find Caroline hiding out from her dad. He is adorable, offering to kick Bill’s ass. He comforts her while she has a sad about Bill being both her dad and someone who wants her dead. She makes a crack about his b.o. which naturally leads to shirtlessness and making out. Only in Mystic Falls. Caroline’s phone rings and she stops the sexiness to take a phone call from Elena, who says there is an emergency. WTF Caroline? WTF?

Bill is in Mayor Douche’s office pouring himself a glass of scotch when Damon arrives. They have some back and forth about Bill believing in moderation and trained in the art of focus, which allowed him to resist compulsion. Damon asks why Bill didn’t expose him to the council and is pissed when Bill doesn’t think he is self-destructive enough to kill. Damon responds by taking a long drink from his neck and praising the taste of fresh blood. He is about to go in for the kill when Caroline arrives to stop him. She manages to throw him against and out of a window. Way to go Caroline! She offers her blood to Bill so he can heal but he refuses. She is awesome, telling him to grow up before forcing him to drink from her wrist.

Don't fuck with Caroline.

Don’t fuck with Caroline.

Damon reappears during this times and calls Bill an ass-wheel. WTF does that even mean? Care gives him a punch to the face before he throws her on the desk and begins strangling her. Elena enters the room as Caroline regains the upper-hand, breaking Damon’s arm and smashing his head into a wall. She leaves with Bill while Elena is left to deal with Damon. Elena immediately launches into lecture mode, telling him that he can’t “do this” around her, this meaning act like a vampire. He freaks out, telling her that he’s not Stefan before leaving.

Jeremy and Bonnie are cleaning up after the grimoire bonfire in his bedroom. He washes his hands in the bathroom while she leaves to grab a vacuum. Cue Anna appearing. Jeremy tells her to stop showing up when Bonnie is around. She responds by telling him that she only shows up when he’s thinking about her and accusing him of keeping her a secret from Bonnie because he still cares. He feels he can’t handle the situation and closes his eyes, blocking Anna out. Once he sees that Anna is gone, he returns to his bedroom and begins to tell Bonnie about his new “gift”. Meanwhile, Anna is trapped in the bathroom, crying and begging Jeremy to listen to her.

Stefan returns to the warehouse full of coffins, pausing to touch one before Rebekah enters. She tells him that Klaus (or Nik as she calls him) left to check on Gloria and comments on the dreariness of carrying their family members around. Stefan asks why she doesn’t undagger them and she responds by saying she is afraid Klaus would kill her. Stef asks why she cares about him if he’s so evil. She tells him it’s easier than hating him. Weird chick. Stefan changes the topic of conversation, inquiring about the man they were running from in 1922. She tells him that she can’t talk about it, fearing what Klaus would do if he found out. Rebekah mentions Klaus told her about Elena and the fact that Stefan is only there because Klaus saved Damon’s life. They share a moment and a kiss after which Rebekah asks Stefan if he’ll ever love anyone the way he loved Elena. He responds with a maybe and she tells him that she knows he’s lying. Klaus enters, ranting about Gloria leaving and them needing a new witch. Rebekah tells him that Stefan was asking about Michael and isn’t on their side. Stefan has little time to protest before Klaus super speeds toward him.

Damon is at home having numerous drinks, waiting for Ric to wake up. When he finally rejoins the living, Ric is livid. He calls Damon a dick before bailing on his bestie. So sad.

It's not like he didn't come back to life.

It’s not like he didn’t come back to life.

Elena and Caroline chat in town square about Damon. Caroline gloats about being right regarding his bad behavior and tells Elena that Damon has gotten under her skin. She tries to get Elena to admit she feels something for him but Elena tells her that she can’t. To admit she is attracted to Damon is to start down a path that she doesn’t want to travel. Caroline starts to assure her that what she’s feeling makes her human but stops when she sees Bill.

Caroline joins Bill, checking to see how he is after the brouhaha. He shows her the healed wound on his neck and thanks her for rescuing him. They have a tearful goodbye during which Caroline tells him she will be okay. His response it to tell her that she will never be okay again now that she is a vampire. Douche dad.

Ric, still pissed at Damon, meets with Liz and Carol at the Lockwood Mansion. He wants to represent the Gilbert family on the council seeing as he is playing surrogate father to Elena and Jeremy. Carol rejects his idea, leading him to launch into a huge rant about the duplicitous nature of the council. It’s pretty ragey but also accurate:

The council’s job is to protect the people of this town. Now your daughter’s a vampire and your son’s a werewolf. So who’s looking after the actual people? Some of them may be family or friends, but they are still supernatural. They don’t follow our rules or our laws, they look after themselves, and that’s what we need to do. I’ll see you at the next meeting.

Elena meets Bonnie outside of the Mystic Grill. Elena asks for her necklace and Bonnie returns it to her. Elena is surprised to hear that Jeremy is seeing the dead so Bonnie fills her in. Bonnie turns her head to look at a waitress and when she looks back Elena is gone. That’s because Elena was really Katherine. Oh shit!

Damon answers a knock at his door and who should it be but Katherine. He is less than pleased to see her but changes his tune once she asks if he wants to take a road trip with her. She doesn’t go into details, instead showing him Elena’s necklace while promising “it’s good”.

Stefan wakes up in the back of a truck and immediately begins begging Klaus for a change to explain. Klaus is curiously calm, telling him that he has decided to check out what Stefan has been hiding. He opens the back of the truck and welcomes Stefan back to Mystic Falls.

BODY COUNT: 1

Gloria

QUOTABLES

REBEKAH: “So women in the 21st century dress like prostitutes, then. You know, I got dirty looks for wearing trousers.”
KLAUS: “You wore trousers so women today could wear nothing.”

DAMON: “I know. I knew your old family. They made sucky chili.”

KATHERINE: “Uh-huh. I forgot. You’re bad now.”

DAMON: “So Mayor Lockwood called your gay ex-husband to torture your vampire daughter?”

LIZ: “Yeah, well, just ’cause you and I are on okay terms doesn’t mean that I’m a suddenly a big advocate for your ‘lifestyle’.”
DAMON: “Is that what you told him when you two got divorced?”

MUSIC

Last.fm_play.png “Ready 2 Go” by Martin Solveig (feat. Kele). Klaus and Stefan share a drink while Rebekah tries on clothes.

Last.fm_play.png “Go Outside” by Cults. Caroline and Elena discuss switching Salvatores at the Founder’s potluck.

Last.fm_play.png “Floating (Time Isn’t Working My Side)” by Portugal The Man. Alaric asks Damon to take a beat with Elena.

Last.fm_play.png “Phenomena” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Klaus and Stefan feed on girls in the warehouse while Rebekah complains about being bored.

Last.fm_play.png “Wanna Be Sure” by Aidan Hawken. Elena’s phone call interrupts Caroline and Tyler hooking up.

Last.fm_play.png “Human” by Civil Twilight. Caroline and Bill say goodbye.

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