Recap That Noise: Vampire Diaries, 3.03 The End of the Affair

Damon is at home when he receives a phone call. Surprise, surprise! It’s Katherine. She makes a joke about pining away for him before asking for a recap of current events. Clever writers, I see what you did there. Katherine knows where Klaus and Stefan are but isn’t sharing, only telling Damon that Klaus is pissed his army of hybrids failed.

Klaus and Stefan are in Chicago! We know because Klaus says. “Welcome back to Chicago, Stefan.” He wants Stefan to reminisce about the days when he was the ripper but Stef has managed to block most of out, forgetting all of the details. But as Klaus says, the details are the best part.

FLASHBACK! Chicago, 1920’s. Klaus provides voice over about the “Ripper of Monterrey” getting lonely and heading to the city during Prohibition while we see Stefan feed on a random girl in a car. He drinks until the point of her death, getting out of the car and wiping the blood away from his mouth.

Stefan enters a bar and is greeted by Gloria, the owner/lounge singer. He is about to grab a glass of champagne from a waiter when a young blonde swoops in. She licks his lips and tells him that he is still wearing his date, putting on her vamp face. She starts to leave but he grabs her, asking her name. She doesn’t answer, shushing him instead.

The girl has gumption.

Present- Stefan is whining about still being attached to Klaus even though the hybrid project failed. Klaus tells him that they are going to see a witch before attempting Hybrid 2.0.

Elena is asleep in bed and curled up next to a very hot Damon. Except she seems upset when she wakes up to find him there. Poor Elena. So sad and confused. She is upset about being woken up at six in the morning (welcome to my everyday life) but changes her tune once Damon indicates that he knows where Stefan is. He tells her Stef is in Chicago and is kind of amazing when she asks how he figured it out. He tells her to start packing and “helps” by pawing through her underpants drawer. This entire scene is pretty much my favorite thing ever.

I can think of a million worse ways to wake up.

Yes, I would have loved it.

Caroline is still tied to a chair in an unknown cellar, calling for her dad. Girls, please stop referring to your father as daddy. It’s gross and weird and I hate it from the bottom of my heart. Some sort of smoke/gas begins pumping into the room and Bill enters. Caroline pleads with him to let her go but he just apologizes for her situation and asks how she can walk in the sunlight. She shows him her daylight ring (because she’s the biggest fucking idiot ever) and he removes it. He throws it to the floor before launching into a history lesson about how they are in the cellar of the jailhouse which their ancestors built to keep vampires- vervain is pumped in through the ventilation system and the chair is reinforced steel. He leaves to grab a blood bag, taunting her with the one thing she so desperately needs. He tells her that he is going to “fix her” before yanking a chain that lets the sunshine in, burning his little girl as she sits and screams.

Damon and Elena are road tripping to Chicago in his car. Couldn’t he just compel them seats on an airplane? I think that would be a whole lot easier. Damon decides to entertain Elena by reading from Stefan’s journal. While he drives. Does anyone else think this isn’t the safest? He begins reading from an entry dated 1922. Stefan writes about blacking out and waking up with the blood of strangers on him.” Damon is hilarious throughout the entire thing, reading in his dopey Stefan voice. He makes a quip about Stefan not being a virgin and I don’t know I could be so in love with a fictional character. Elena takes the journal from him, finally concerned about the lack of attention he is paying while driving, and begins to read to herself.

1922- Stefan is having a drink at the bar with friends when the mysterious blonde drink stealer comes dancing by. She sees Stefan and stops, joining him. She is sassy, chiding them for being loud enough that she couldn’t hear the music. There is some light flirtation between her and Stefan what with him calling her sweetheart and her touching his “baby face”. He asks for her name but she tells him that he has to earn it before resuming dancing.

Present- Klaus and Stefan have returned to the bar from the 20’s. Gloria is still alive! And super young looking. I think we’ve found our witch. Klaus tries to tell a lame ‘hybrid walks into a bar’ joke but Gloria is sassy, telling him that he isn’t funny. I think I kind of like her. She recognizes Stefan who is amazed that she is still alive. She admits to using magic to slow the aging process. Can I please have some of whatever she has concocted? Klaus sends Stefan behind the bar to make drinks and attempts to sweet talk Gloria into helping him. She tells him that they need to contact the Original Witch that created the sun and moon curse and they need someone named Rebekah to do it. Stefan spies a picture on the wall of him and Klaus from 1922. And they look like buds?

The plot thickens.

The plot thickens.

Liz calls home but there is no answer so she leaves a message for Caroline on their answering machine telling her that she’s been pulling all-nighters at the station and suggesting that they grab lunch together. As she hangs up Tyler knocks on the door of the house.

Caroline is still burning in the sun, begging her father to stop. She pleads with him, telling him that she doesn’t hurt people and has a handle on her urges. The sunshine temporarily goes away as he stops pulling on the chain of doom. He doesn’t believe her, putting a blood bag in front of her face, watching her vamp out. He aims to condition her so blood will make her cringe, associating the traits of vampirism with pain and torture. Good luck with that. He once again pulls the chain to make the sun appear and the screams begin anew.

Elena and Damon arrive at an old rat-trap apartment in Chicago. It seems this is Stefan’s old stomping ground. Damon mentions an all-girls school around the corner that closed but Elena isn’t taking his bait. He breaks the lock on the door and they enter. Everything is musty and covered in dust. Damon goes toward a wall and opens a hidden door where a ton of alcohol has been stored. Awesome! Damon tells Elena to look closely at the door. Stefan kept a list of the names of his victims. Elena gets defensive asking Damon what he was doing in the 20’s and Damon is super awesome making reference to The Great Gatsby. He ditches her at the apartment, telling her to come up with plan while he searches for Stefan’s exact location.

To be so close to so many bottles of aged scotch is my dream.

To be so close to so many bottles of aged scotch is my dream.

Meanwhile, Stefan is extremely confused by the picture he saw. He has absolutely no recollection of ever meeting Klaus and yet… Klaus refuses to make the trip down Memory Lane only telling Stefan that he hated him when they first met. Didn’t Klaus’s mother ever tell him that he shouldn’t use the word hate?

1922- Stefan is drinking blood from a woman’s neck. Also drinking from the same neck is the mysterious blonde. They pause to make out briefly. Upon pulling apart, Stefan sees the necklace the blonde is wearing. It’s the same necklace that he gave to Elena! It seems that it was given to Blondie by a witch and has magic powers. She says it brought her love and I die a little inside. WORSE PICKUP LINE EVER. Klaus arrives and grabs Blondie, calling her Rebekah and telling her that they have to leave. Rebekah doesn’t want to go with him so Stefan gets all manly and possessive. It’s gross. Rebekah is afraid that Klaus will hurt Stefan. How touching. Klaus is awesome, being both unimpressed with Stefan and making fun of his hair. Rebekah tells Klaus to leave without her but spoiler alert! Rebekah is Klaus’s sister and he thinks that means she has to do what he says. I would kneecap my brothers if they shared in his philosophy.

Present- Stefan is surprised to learn that he knew another original vampire. He’s even more surprised that he is in a warehouse of coffins containing the originals. Klaus opens one, revealing Rebekah inside with a dagger in her chest. Stefan says he doesn’t recognize her and appears to be telling the truth. Klaus removes the dagger, telling Rebekah’s corpse that it’s time to wake up. He seems a little pissed when she doesn’t immediately awaken. Dude, give a girl a moment to collect herself. Stefan is agitated, questioning why Klaus is keeping him around. Klaus tells him that he has many talents and was responsible for teaching Klaus some of his favorite tricks.

1922- Klaus, Stefan and Rebekah are sharing a table at Gloria’s bar. Klaus is extremely elitist, asking Stefan why he thinks he is worthy of being with an Original vampire. Is it just me of does Klaus come off super creepy here? Like maybe he has an inappropriate relationship with his sister? Stefan changes the topic of conversation to the rest of their family. Surprise! Klaus gloats about killing most of them. I’m not quite sure daggering is the same as killing. Rebekah and Klaus have a weird moment where she talks about choosing the right side and pats his hand in what can only be described as a romantic way.

This is not normal sibling behavior.

This is not normal sibling behavior.

The creepiness is interrupted when an angry man stops by their table, demanding to know where his wife is. After some taunting on Stefan’s part and threats of calling the police, Stef calls Lila (the wife in question) to the table. The man tries to grab her and leave but Stefan compels him to sit at the table. Klaus’s interest is piqued as Stefan removes Lila’s gloves and cuts her wrist, her blood pouring into a glass. He compels her to bandage herself up so she leaves the table and Stefan turns his attention to her husband, forcing him to drink from the glass containing Lila’s blood. Stefan forces the man to provide his name (Liam Grant) and finish the glass, Klaus laughing all the while.

I'm pretty sure this wins all of the awards for best screen capture.

I’m pretty sure this wins all of the awards for best screen capture.

Present- Klaus admits to be being Stefan’s “number one fan”. I’m not really into fangirl Klaus. I like him better when he’s being bad. Klaus compels a guy in the warehouse to tell Rebekah to meet them at Gloria’s when she wakes up and offer up an artery, allowing her to drink until he dies. Klaus is nothing if not thorough. He wants to prove his love and devotion friendship with Stefan existed so the boys head to Stefan’s old apartment.

Damon enters Gloria’s bar and is immediately met with shade. Despite this he is his wonderfully charming self. Gloria tells him that Stefan was in with Klaus and both gents will be back tonight. Damon tries to get her to reveal what the dynamic duo are up to but Gloria isn’t having it. I’m sorry but a reality check is needed. If Damon Salvatore asks you a question while caressing your hand, I’m pretty sure you answer. Even if you’ve been alive for hundreds of years.

You know Gloria is sassy because she stands like this.

You know Gloria is sassy because she stands like this.

Elena is still at Stefan’s apartment, reading from his journal. There is a cheesy Stefan voice over about Lexi finding him and getting him to turn his humanity back on, a project that took over a decade. She hears Klaus and Stefan coming and hides in the secret closet of names. Klaus sees the lock on the front door has been broken and kicks the door open. He asks Stefan if anyone is there but Stefan quickly dismisses the idea. There is a lot of awkwardness as Klaus tries to convince Stefan that they were friends, showing him where he wrote the names of his victims (including Liam Grant) on the door to the hidden closet. Stefan enters the closet to take a look at the list and sees Elena inside. They make serious eye contact as Stefan tells Klaus to look at what he found. Elena is scared but it’s just a fake-out. Stefan grabs a bottle of scotch and gives it to Klaus. He closes the closet door before the pair leave in search of a human to feed from.

Elena is hiding behind a wall with a vervain dart in hand when Damon walks in. Elena is pissed because she called an hour ago and he didn’t respond. Whoa, she sounds like the most needy non-girlfriend ever. Damon gives her a bag containing clothes and tells her to get dressed so they can meet Stefan. His plan is to distract Klaus so she can chat with Stefan and convince him to leave the dark side. Good luck with that.

Klaus and Stefan are at Gloria’s waiting for Rebekah. Stefan is in a mood, upset that Klaus only likes him for the way he tortured people. Klaus tells him that the torture is only part of the reason he’s around. He also wants his old friend back. Aww.

1922- Stefan is flirting with stroking Klaus’s ego, telling him that his family wants to kill him because they’re jealous. Klaus warns Stefan that Rebekah a) is falling in love with him, b) kind of crazy, and c) will eventually leave him, breaking his heart. It’s a lot to dump on a person but Stefan takes it in stride, thanking “Nik” for being such a great friend.

Stefan Salvatore: the only person who is scarier looking when he smiles.

Stefan Salvatore: the only person who is scarier looking when he smiles.

Present- Klaus raises a shot of tequila to friendship. It’s adorable.

Caroline is still trapped in her chair in the cellar, covered in burn marks. Bill tells her that he sat and cried when Carol called him and shared the ‘Caroline is a vampire’ news. Is that supposed to make her feel better about tortured? He asks her to try her best and puts a bag of blood in front of her. She doesn’t immediately vamp out instead telling him that controlling her urges while starving is too difficult. He tells her that he has to “fix” her or kill her. And you thought your dad was crazy. She finally vamps out and Bill is disappointed, telling her they’ll try again tomorrow. He goes to leave but opens the door to find Liz with a gun. Badass. He tries to say that he’s doing the right thing for Caroline but Liz ignores him, calling Tyler down. They all enter the cell and Tyler breaks the chains on the chair, returning her daylight ring to her finger before carrying her out. It’s all so heroic, I might faint.

Stefan is still confused as to why he doesn’t remember anything about 1920’s Klaus. I think the following sentence sums up exactly why I can’t stand Stefan: “If we were such great friends, then why do I only know you as the hybrid dick who sacrificed my girlfriend on an altar of fire?” SO MELODRAMATIC.

1922- Stefan and Rebekah are dancing while Klaus watches them, smiling. Weirdest love triangle ever? Suddenly his face loses it’s charming smile. Policeman enter and begin shooting people so Rebekah and Stefan hide behind the bar. Stefan picks one of the bullets up off the ground and surprise! They’re wooden! And Rebekah says they mean that “he” is there. Stefan is just as confused as I am when Klaus grabs Rebekah and tells her they need to get lost. Her necklace falls to the floor and Stefan looks like he is about to grab it when Klaus compels him. He commands him to forget all about meeting them until some future date when Klaus says it’s okay to remember. Then he thanks Stefan for reminding him what it was like to have a brother. So touching.

Um, what about Elijah?

Um, what about Elijah?

Present- Stefan doesn’t get why Klaus would compel him to forget. He VERY SLOWLY starts to piece together that Klaus and Rebekah were hiding from someone. His revelations are interrupted when he sees Damon. He heads toward him under the pretense of grabbing another drink. Except they go outside where I’m pretty sure there is no bartender. They argue about Elena being in Chicago- Stefan worries Klaus will see her and figure out that she didn’t die during the sacrifice which is why he can’t make new hybrids while Damon is convinced she won’t stop searching for Stefan until she sees him. Elena approaches and Damon heads inside to run Klaus interference.

Damon joins Klaus at the bar and they have some back and forth about Stefan. Damon promises to stop following them if Stefan is allowed to come home but Klaus doesn’t want to return his new/old best friend. He strangles Damon while trying to decide if Stefan would be overly upset should his brother die.

Elena tries to convince Stefan to come home by touching his face and hugging him. Did she really think that would work? Suddenly she has a vervain dart in hand and attempts to stake him but Stefan is quicker, grabbing her wrist and telling her that he doesn’t want to come home. He sounds like a petulant teenager.

Klaus has taken to stabbing Damon repeatedly with a toothpick. Okay, BBF charm officially lost. No one fucks with the handsome Salvatore. Klaus pushes Damon to the floor and is about to stake him when Gloria uses her witchy power to burn the stake. She’s all, not in my bar bitches and I love it.

Stefan is trying to make Elena understand that if he goes home she is doomed. Klaus will know she’s alive and the reason his hybrid army failed. She argues that she doesn’t want him protecting her and it is seriously so boring. Stefan finally ends it by saying he doesn’t want to be with her. FINALLY.

Somewhere the world's smallest violin is playing for whiny Elena.

Somewhere the world’s smallest violin is playing for whiny Elena.

Damon returns to his car and finds Elena playing inside with her necklace. He asks if she is okay and she answers by telling him to drive.

Caroline is in bed drinking from a blood bag and having a sad. Liz is with her, trying to to comfort her. It’s sweet to see Liz singing a different tune from last season. Tyler shows up and Liz leaves but only after Caroline thanks Liz for believing in her. And in that moment a million hearts broke across the world. Tyler tries to joke around with Care about her sneaking out of his place but she breaks down crying over her father hating her. Ty is super sweet, climbing into bed with her and hugging it out and kissing her head.

Klaus enters the warehouse of coffins and sees Rebekah’s coffin is empty and the warehouse worker he compelled is dead. He tries to play Marco Polo with her when she super speeds out, stabbing him with the dagger and telling him to go to Hell. Are we finally getting a strong female on the show?

1922- Klaus and Rebekah are standing next to a car while Rebekah waits for Stefan. Klaus is trying to get her to get a move on but she wants to wait for her love. He tells her that Stefan isn’t coming and she launches into a mini speech about not wanting to run anymore. Klaus throws a temper tantrum telling her to choose between him and Stefan. She chooses Stefan so he daggers her. That’s cold blooded.

Present- Klaus takes the dagger out of his chest and throws it to the ground. He questions why Rebekah stabbed him seeing as he is immune to the dagger and she replies by telling him she hoped it would hurt. He accuses her of pouting and says he brought a peace offering as Stefan enters. Rebekah softens, instantly recognizing him. Klaus goes to Stefan and compels him to remember.

1922- Stefan sees a photographer passing by and asks him to take a picture of him and his brother. He grabs Klaus and they pose together.

So much swagger.

So much swagger.

Present- Stefan remembers being friends with Klaus. So sweet. Klaus jumps straight to business, asking Rebekah how to contact the original witch. She reaches for her missing necklace and begins freaking out. She starts screaming about needing to find the necklace and frantically searches her coffin. When she still can’t find it she throws the coffin to the ground as Stefan looks on with a serious face.

Damon is at the Salvatore Boarding House chatting with Katherine on the phone. He tries to guess where she is but Katherine is elusive as always. She hangs up and laughs while standing in a phone booth. Weird chick.

1922- Rebekah’s necklace is still on the floor of Gloria’s. And Katherine is there! With a bob that’s actually pretty cute. She is about to pick up the necklace but changes her mind and hides when she sees Stefan. He grabs the necklace before being approached by a man from Chicago PD. He flashes a drawing of Klaus and Rebekah and asks if Stefan has seen them. Thanks to the compulsion Stefan is able to answer that he’s never seen them before. The man seems to believe him, telling the other officers to pack it up so they can leave. Katherine watches the entire exchange from her hidey hole.

Present- Katherine steps out of the phone booth to reveal that she is in Chicago.

BODY COUNT: 1

Dead girl (in flashback)

QUOTABLES

DAMON: “I sure hope we find him, ’cause it would suck if the last memento of Stefan was that crappy old necklace.”

DAMON: “But you’re going to have about five minutes tops before that hybrid freak rips my heart out.”

NICE TO MEET YOU

Charmin Lee as Gloria

Charmin Lee as Gloria

Claire Holt as Rebekah

Claire Holt as Rebekah

Shane Callaham as Liam Grant

Shane Callaham as Liam Grant

Christine Lekas as Lila Grant

Christine Lekas as Lila Grant

MUSIC

Last.fm_play.png “St. James Infirmary” by Gloria’s 1920s Band. Stefan and Rebekah meet at Gloria’s.

Last.fm_play.png “Distance” by Christina Perri. Elena wakes up to find Damon in bed.

Last.fm_play.png “Run Wild” by Ume. Damon reads Stefan’s diary to Elena as they drive to Chicago.

Last.fm_play.png “My Sweet Hunk O’ Trash” by Gloria’s 1920s Band. Rebekah scolds Stefan for not letting her hear Gloria sing.

Last.fm_play.png “You Should Know” by Pink Frost. Damon asks Gloria about Stefan and Klaus.

Last.fm_play.png “We Come Out At Night” by Snake! Snake! Snakes!. Stefan and Klaus share a drink while they wait for Rebekah.

Last.fm_play.png “Blood Ball” by The Elliots. Stefan and Klaus continue to drink and wait for Rebekah.

Last.fm_play.png “Kale” by Nerves Junior. Damon distracts Klaus while Stefan talks to Elena.

Last.fm_play.png “Shelter” by Birdy. Caroline cries to Tyler about Bill hating her.

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