Elena is at her house, watching Jeremy sleep. It’s only semi creepy. She then wanders into Jenna’s room, sees it is empty and exits. Damon is in the hallway, there to apologize for forcing Elena to drink his blood. She tells him that she’ll need time to forgive him and he tells her to take all the time she needs. Because it’s not like he’s dying of a werewolf bite or anything. Knucklehead.
Damon has returned home where he pours himself a glass of scotch. He stands before the library window and opens the curtains, taking a drink before removing his daylight ring. WTF are you doing Damon?! He opens his arms as his skin begins to burn. It’s seriously gross. Stefan arrives before he can combust, tackling him out of the sunlight. Damon is angry, not wanting to die like Rose all crazy and hallucinating. Stefan refuses to let him die today, telling him that he has Bonnie looking into a cure. Oh, like that’s reassuring. Damon coughs up some blood and it’s gross. Could this be the beginning of the end?
Klaus wakes up naked in the woods. It’s kind of awesome. Elijah throws some clothes at him and tells him that he’s been a wolf for two days; he is able to transform without the full moon. Klaus is giddy, remembering all of his kills and this guy is kind of fucked up in the head. Elijah reminds him of the deal they made- Klaus’s life for the rest of their family. Klaus promises to bring him to them soon.
Alaric is at the bar of the Mystic Grill, stealing a bottle of liquor from a waitress. She tries to take it back but his drunk ass isn’t letting go. He takes a phone call from Stefan and is a little overdramatic, telling him that he’s “not allowed to help, just idly sit by while my girlfriend gets sacrificed on an altar of blood.” Stefan tells him that Damon is dying from Tyler’s wolf bite and Ric snaps into action mode. I so prefer action over moping.
Gone With the Wind is playing in town square because Mystic Falls is just so fucking quaint. There are chicks in hoop skirts and it kind of makes me feel like I’m going crazy. Elena and Jeremy arrive, complete with blanket. When Jer questions why Elena brought him to a total chick flick, she tells him it is meant to serve as a three hour distraction from life. As if. Gone With the Wind is probably the least captivating movie I have ever seen. Caroline arrives with a picnic basket full of food and suddenly I’m starving. Thanks a lot Caroline.
Meanwhile, Stefan and Bonnie are in the abandoned witch house, conducting a seance to communicate with Emily Bennett and the other murdered witches. Stefan seems to think they will be able to provide them with a clue as to how to cure Damon. Good luck with that. Bonnie casts her spell and the witch whispering commences. Bonnie is suddenly possessed by Emily who tells Stefan that Damon’s wolf bite is a way of nature balancing itself out and also that it’s time for Damon to die. Screw her. Stefan begs her for an answer as to how to save his brother but Bonnie falls to the floor screaming. She tells him that the witches think she is abusing their power and want them gone. Before they leave she tells Stef that she heard the witches whispering the name Klaus.
Carol joins Liz in her office at the courthouse, ready for an update on the vamp situation. Liz tells her that she is handling it and Carol threatens to replace her if she doesn’t see results soon. It’s all pretty anti-climactic.
Back in town square (aka the lamest movie theatre ever) Stefan joins the group. He asks Elena if they can take a walk and tells her that Damon was bitten by Tyler. He also tells her that Klaus may have the cure so he is going off in search of the hybrid. Elena is concerned that Klaus will try to kill him but Stefan reminds her that he offered his life as part of the ritual and Klaus wasn’t having it. He gives a stirring mini-speech about owing it to Damon to find a cure seeing as he is the one who made him become a vampire and all. They share a hug and Stefan tells her to talk to Damon.
Damon is at home, hallucinating that it’s 1864. FLASHBACK! 1864- Damon watches Katherine get ready in her bedroom in a manner that can only be described as slightly creepy. She calls him out on his spying and invites him in to undo her corset strings. They have some heavy flirting about him going back to fight in the war (because the Civil War is sexy) and he confronts her about the whole getting it on with his brother thing. Suddenly Elena appears, telling Damon that Katherine was always toying with him and that he had a choice to walk away. Katherine touches his cheek, bringing his attention back to her. She makes him promise to return soon.
Present- Damon snaps back to reality and lifts his sleeve to inspect the bite. It say it has gotten ickier is an understatement.
Stefan enters Ric’s apartment where Katherine is waiting, demanding to know why Klaus’s compulsion hasn’t broken. He tells her there were complications and starts to ask if she knows where Klaus is when she pushes him against the wall, telling him to shut up before Klaus and Elijah enter. He asks for Klaus’s help but Klaus tells him to pause as he must first fulfill his promise to Elijah. Elijah gives a little speech about the importance of family and then Klaus daggers him. WTF? Klaus stakes Stefan dangerously close to his heart while Katherine screams about him wanting help for Damon. Stefan promises to do anything Klaus wants in exchange for the cure. Klaus removes the stake and pours a glass of blood, calling Stefan useless. This does not seem to be boding well.
Damon is examining his disgusting bite when Ric walks in. He tells Ric that his subconscious is haunting him so Ric offers him a double of scotch. I really want a friend like Ric. He pours another drink while Damon jokes about him being on suicide watch. Damon screams in pain before telling Ric that he should be held responsible for Jenna’s death. Ric refuses to be part of his pity party so Damon reminds him that he turned Isobel before choking Ric, begging him to kill him. He injects Damon with vervain. As Damon falls to the floor he asks for Elena.
Elena gets out of her car when she hears a sound. Liz appears and covers Elena’s mouth.
Damon asks Ric for blood so he heads for the fridge to grab a bag. He turns his head and Liz is there, asking where Damon is. He tries to tell her that now isn’t the right time when a deputy calls her over. She goes into the cellar but Damon isn’t there. That’s because he’s behind her! He throws her into the wall and she falls to the ground.
Ric calls Jeremy who is kinda sorta watching Gone With the Wind with Caroline and Bonnie. He tells Ric that Elena left in search of Damon. Ric, in turn, warns him that Damon is a little bit crazy and probably out looking for Elena. He suggests getting her somewhere safe should Jer run into her. After they hang up, Bonnie is kind of a bitch, telling Jeremy that they will handle it, implying that he can’t. Lucky for us he has a backbone and sasses her saying, “You keep doing this. You left me behind before, and guess what Jenna still died. Now I’m going to find my sister. You go ahead and you try to stop me.” AND IT MAKES ME SUPER HAPPY.
Back at Ric’s apartment, Stefan is still lying on the floor while Klaus drinks some blood and Katherine watches. Klaus launches into a brief tale of a fearsome vampire who ripped an entire village to pieces. And it’s Stefan? Really? Mr. Hero Hair? As Stefan picks himself off the floor, he swears he’s a changed man. This isn’t want Klaus wants to hear. He thinks having a “ripper” (lame nickname if you aren’t Rupert Giles) in tow when he leaves town would be splendid. Klaus asks Katherine (calling her Katerina) to come to him and he totally wolfs out and bites her! She freaks out in a bad way while I freak out in a good way. Could the death of Ms. Pierce be imminent? Sike! He bites his wrist and has her drink. Stefan looks on as her wolf bite heals.
Damon has made it to town square, looking quite ill. And not ill like awesome but ill like the bubonic plague. He sees Katherine in a lavender dress and calls her name but she disappears and Jeremy arrives. Damon asks where Elena is and Jer props him up/ tells him that they need to get out of there. Is it wrong to wish for Damon and Jeremy to become bros?
Elena is locked in Liz’s office, demanding to know what has been done with Damon. It’s quite touching. Liz doesn’t understand why she cares seeing as he is a murderous vampire. A deputy interrupts them, telling Liz that Damon was seen entering the Mystic Grill. Elena tries to tag along, telling them that he is sick but Liz orders the deputy to trap her there.
Jeremy makes a phone call to an unknown person while watching over Damon at the Grill. Liz arrives and shoots at Damon who is standing in front of Jer. Only Damon speeds away as the bullet is fired and Little Gilbert takes the bullet, falling down dead. Liz totally freaks, calling for help over her radio when Bonnie and Caroline arrive. Caroline bites her wrist and tries to feed him blood but, since he is dead, he doesn’t drink. Ric arrives and Bonnie launches into boss mode, telling him to grab Jeremy to take him with them. Liz gives a weak protest but Caroline convinces her to let them go.
Elena uses a chair to shatter a window in Liz’s office.
Klaus puts some of his blood in a vial while asking Stefan if he is prepared to go on “a decade-long bender”. Stefan is less than pumped, telling Klaus that he has changed. This upsets Klaus who begins pouring the blood down a sink drain until Stefan asks him to stop. He tosses Stef a blood bag and instructs him to drink it. When he finishes, Klaus tosses him another, promising to heal Damon if Stefan does everything that he tells him to.
Bonnie and Ric have taken Jeremy’s body to the abandoned witch house. She knows a spell to save him but needs to channel the power of the dead witches. She begins casting when the witchy whispers start, telling Bonnie that they are angry and don’t want to help. They warn her of consequences and Ric is awesome, telling her to tell the witches to shut up. I kind of love Ric. Bonnie continues the spell, nose bleeding as she cries. She pleads with Emily Bennett, saying she loves Jer when suddenly the whispers stop. She thinks the spell has failed when suddenly Jeremy’s eyes fly open.
Elena is running through town square when she sees Damon. She grabs him, telling him that they have to hide. He asks where they are going.
1864- Damon chases after Katherine as she yells that they are going everywhere. He asks her to wait, saying he wants to go with her. Then he trips.
Present- Damon trips and Elena rushes to help him.
1864- Damon catches up to Katherine and pins her to a tree.
Present- Damon pushes Elena up against a post.
1864- Katherine and Damon have an exchange about his always chasing her. He asks her to feed him blood but she tells him to take it. She cuts her neck and tells him it is his “choice to make”.
Present- Damon says, “I choose you, Katherine.” Except he’s talking to Elena who tries to get him to snap back to reality.
1864- Damon asks Katherine to promise not to tell Stefan. She promises to keep his secret as he leans toward her.
Present- Damon leans towards Elena’s neck as she begs him to stop. He tells her that he has to if they are “to be together forever” and bites her neck, drinking. She tells him that he’s hurting her and he is brought back to reality. He says her name before falling to the ground. She tries to hold him and her bleeding neck at the same time.
Caroline hangs up her phone and tells Liz that Jeremy is alive. Liz breaths a sigh of relief, not understanding that he was brought back from the dead. Caroline gives her a little speech about how she once told her everything and she doesn’t want to be a liar anymore. They hug it out while Care promises that she is still herself. It’s touching.
Jeremy is in bed at home, talking to Bonnie via webcam. Which makes no sense because they were just together in real life. Why didn’t she go home with him? He tells her that he feels different which, duh. He tells her that he doesn’t know how to thank her and she is super lame, telling him that he can thank her tomorrow and the day after that. I think it’s supposed to be sexy but it’s cheesy as hell. They end their conversation and Ric drops by to tell Jeremy he’s going to crash on the couch. Jer thanks Ric and Ric parrots back Bonnie’s sexy talk, obviously having been eavesdropping. It is hilarious and the smile he shares with Jeremy is adorable.
Elena plays nurse for Damon, helping him settle into his bed. He asks her to leave, afraid that he might hurt her but she refuses to leave, promising to be there until the end. He coughs up a bunch of blood and it’s gross. Elena sits with him, and holds him while he tells her that he made the wrong choice in loving Katherine. He wants her to tell Stefan that he’s sorry for blaming him. Please stop making me feel all of the feelings.
Stefan sits on the floor of Ric’s apartment, surrounded by empty blood bags. Klaus tries to make him drink another but Stefan wants the cure first. Klaus refuses to give it to him until they make a deal; he wants Stefan to leave Mystic Falls with him. As Stefan drinks more blood, Klaus hands the vial of his blood to Katherine and compels her to give it to Damon and come back. As she speeds out, an upset Stefan tells Klaus that she will never bring Damon the cure.
Still dying in bed, Damon tells Elena that he deserves to die but isn’t sorry for any of the choices he has made because they all led him to her. He apologizes for hurting her and echos the words she told him in the opening episode of the season: she loves Stefan and it will always be Stefan. He tells her that he loves her and wishes that they had met in 1864 because she would have liked him. Then they have the most soul crushing moment ever where she tells him that she likes him now, just the way he is and kisses him. Too bad he had to be super sweaty and dying to make it happen. He thanks her just as Katherine rushes in with the cure.
Kat is surprised to find Elena alive, taking her place at Damon’s bedside. She helps Damon drink the vial and tells him that she owed him one. Elena asks where Stefan is and Katherine tells her that he’s paying for the cure by giving himself to Klaus. Elena is confused so she spells it out- Stefan sacrificed everything to save Damon and won’t be coming back. Katherine tells Elena that it’s okay to love both brothers before rushing away.
Klaus is looking at Elijah’s body which is resting within a coffin in a warehouse. As he closes the coffin, he tells Elijah that he has been reunited with their family (as promised). He tells some nearby minions to “put him with the others” as they are leaving town. Stefan, also at said warehouse, receives a text from Elena telling him that Damon is okay and asking where he is. Klaus tells Stefan that he knew Katherine was on vervain but isn’t worried about her running. Stefan asks why he really wants him around, a secret Klaus promises to reveal once they are on the road. Before they leave, he makes Stefan participate in a test of sorts. He bites the neck of a girl and has Stefan chase her through the warehouse, ultimately killing her. Oh shit.
Jeremy wakes up, having heard a noise. He walks into the hallway calling for Ric. Someone is behind him but when he turns around no one is there. He goes downstairs and female legs follow him down. It’s Vicki Donovan! She calls to Jer but when he turns around she’s gone. He goes into the kitchen and there’s Anna! And he can see her! He turns around again and Vicki has returned. And he can see her too!
BODY COUNT: 1
CAROLINE: “We are going to take a page from Scarlett. We made it through the war. I know you guys went through hell, and my mom knows I am a vampire, so basically it’s like Atlanta has burned.”
ALARIC: “Well, he’s just a kid. Tell ’em to shut up!”