Hey, Watch This!: Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead

I was given a lot of freedom as a teenager. I was once left alone for the week while my mom visited my grandparents in Florida. Despite this, I always longed for an extended chance to prove I could be an adult. You know, take care of the house and my brothers by getting a job and paying bills. I know, I was a weird child. I was also very heavily influenced by Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead. It made it look fun and easy for an eighteen year old to take care of her four siblings for a month or two. I only had my two brothers to manage so I figured it would be a snap. Now that I am an adult I recognize that it was crazy thinking and I was blessed to never be put in the same situation as Sue Ellen.

dont-tell-mom-the-babysitters-dead-movie-poster-1991-1020213158

PLOT

Five siblings are left in the care of a tyrannical babysitter while their mother spends the summer in Australia. When the babysitter unexpectedly passes away, the eldest child fakes a resume to get a job in the fashion industry that allows the kids freedom from adults.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH

The animated opening sequence. I really wish movies would still do this. This is one of my favorites along with Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.

tumblr_m55xo7sZAK1qk40eso1_250

The worst babysitter in the entire world. Mrs. Sturak is not only the pits, but the thing nightmares are afraid of. I was genuinely terrified of her as a child. And maybe just a little today.

tumblr_miki6gAOhI1r2fyvso1_500

Kenny has a friend named Lizard. And a whole crew of other interesting characters including Hellhound and Mole. Is this just a high school guy thing or do adults and/or females also name their friends after animals?

02_guys-in-bedroom

Whisking the couch is not only something that exists, but Kenny will do it if it needs it. But don’t ask him to do the dishes. Trust me, it won’t work out in the way you think.

tumblr_m8nnfsHeYS1rdutw3o1_400

Mr. Egg is awesome. I get that he is supposed to be obnoxious but I find him oddly endearing. I guess it’s because I don’t have to clean the fatty fat traps.

Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

Bryan is the cutest fast food restaurant worker ever. Sue Ellen job at Clown Dog may suck, but at least she scored an awesome boyfriend out of it. He took her to see the grunion run and they shared their first kiss on the beach. They raced giant bouncy balls in a toy store. He brought her family food when they were starving. Not too bad for an eighteen year old.

tumblr_mjzbi2tC0j1rmmkjio1_500

The horrible, horrible fashions. I’ve never seen a worst wardrobe than that of Rose Lindsay. And the woman works in fashion for crying out loud! No wonder the business is going under.

Christina-Applegate-in-Don-t-Tell-Mom-the-Babysitter-s-Dead-christina-applegate-14866009-853-480

You can learn how to fake your way into getting a job that you are in NO way qualified for. Step 1: Copy your resume straight from a book (Or the internet. This isn’t 1991 after all). Step 2: Try on a ton of super hideous outfits that come from your mother’s closet. Step 3: Head down to personnel on the first floor. If you can’t find it just ask Carolyn. Step 4: Meet a flighty woman named Rose who is obviously in no way qualified to hire people. Congrats! You just got a job as an administrative assistant!

tumblr_m5zmbmQQg11qgyo07o1_500

You will learn proper business etiquette. When your boss is on the phone always yell “I’m right on top of that Rose!” so you look like a good employee. It doesn’t matter if your boss is actually named Rose or even a female. Just yell it loud and often.

tumblr_mdlb47oFds1qk08n1o1_500

It taught me that it was okay to “borrow” from petty cash as long as you make a bunch of fake receipts to pay for thing you make your brother’s friends do for free.

tumblr_leu3xeRITQ1qznrqt

The amazing fashion show at the end. I’ve never seen nurses or chefs rocking outfits like the ones that Sue Ellen designs and it’s a shame. I mean, neon pink and mustard are totally a hot combination. Not vomit inducing at all.

tumblr_m76fvkrHGb1qfg36jo1_500

tumblr_lfag9uX7Dv1qznrqt

WHERE HAVE I SEEN YOU BEFORE?

Christina Applegate as Sue Ellen Crandall

Christina Applegate as Sue Ellen Crandell

  • Patrica Johnson in Dance ‘Til Dawn
  • Kelly Bundy on Married…With Children
Joanna Cassidy as Rose Lindsey

Joanna Cassidy as Rose Lindsey

  • Zhora in Blade Runner
  • Dolores in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
John Getz as Gus

John Getz as Gus

  • Stathis Borans in The Fly
  • Maxwell Potterdam III in Men at Work
Josh Charles as Bryan

Josh Charles as Bryan

  • Iggy in Hairspray
  • Knox Overstreet in Dead Poet’s Society
Keith Coogan as Kenneth "Kenny" Crandell

Keith Coogan as Kenneth “Kenny” Crandell

  • Jonathan ‘Snuffy’ Bradberry in Toy Soldiers
  • Brad in Adventures in Babysitting
David Duchovny as Bruce

David Duchovny as Bruce

  • Billy in New Year’s Day
  • DEA Agent Dennis on Twin Peaks
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: