Recap That Noise: Vampire Diaries, 2.16 The House Guest

Elena and Stefan, redressing from obvious sexy times, are running late for school. Elena seems very concerned about this which makes no sense because Stefan is trying to make out with her. Always choose making out over school.

Always.

Always.

Elena comes downstairs and greets Damon, who accuses her of being Katherine. She is surprised when Damon pins her to the wall by her throat. Even more surprised to hear that Katherine is out of the tomb. Damon releases her and Stefan enters to room, wondering what is going on. Elena asks him if Katherine is out of the tomb so he pins her against the wall. These boys have a very interesting way of displaying their affection for a girl. Stefan also accuses her of being Katherine which, surprise! She is. Oh you tricky tricky girl.

Elena, Katherine, Damon and Stefan have all convened in Stefan’s bedroom. Elena is pissed that Katherine is not only out of the tomb, but hanging around the Salvatore Boarding House. Damon fills her and Stefan in the broken compulsion situation. Katherine tries to convince them that they need her to defeat Klaus. Elena rejects her help so she threatens to go around town pretending to be Elena. Because that’s the way to get people to like you, threaten them with hijinks.

Matt is posting ads for live music at the Grill around Mystic Falls High School when Caroline joins him. Matt asks if she has been in contact with Tyler but she hasn’t heard from him. He mentions Ty stopping by to “say good-bye without really saying good-bye”. Caroline asks if he said anything else and Matt goes on the offensive, asking if Caroline needs to tell him something. She is flustered which seems to Matt even more exasperated. He tells her that the ball is in her court before leaving.

Please just be cute together.

Please just be cute together.

Elena and Stefan are exiting his car in the school parking lot, discussing why Katherine is in Mystic Falls. Stefan thinks she genuinely wants to get rid of Klaus but Elena fears that she is there to stir up trouble between the Salvatore Brothers. He offers to stay at her house if it will make her feel more comfortable, but Bonnie and Caroline are coming over for a girls’ night. Doesn’t she know that Stefan wants to be with her? Insecurity is not an attractive quality.

Damon attempts to burn Elijah’s body in the creepy holding cell of the Salvatore basement. Despite being daggered, Elijah’s body will not burn. Katherine approaches him and they have back and forth about whether or not she knew Damon’s plan to dagger Elijah would result in his death. She refuses to answer, instead asking if Elijah told him about his plan for killing Klaus. He answers by threatening to burn her. She reminds him that she is on his side and tells him that she did know he would be killed if he used the dagger. How was Damon ever in love with this psycho?

Stefan meets with Bonnie and Jeremy in the school hallway, filling them in on Katherine’s escape from the tomb. He warns them to be careful, as she delights in impersonating Elena. Jeremy is concerned about Bonnie being powerless with Katherine roaming about. Stefan plans to get Luka and Jonas on their side but Bonnie doesn’t think it is possible. She promises to ask if they will have a sit down before Stefan leaves. Bonnie and Jeremy share a super awkward kiss and it makes me throw up a little.

Ric and Elena are in having a chat about Jenna in his classroom. Because it’s totally not weird to see a teacher all alone with one of his female students. He is worried about the seeds of doubt that John has been planting regarding Isobel. He tells Elena that he gave John the resurrection ring in hopes he would back off. They discuss telling Jenna the truth about everything- Ric doesn’t want to lie to her any longer but Elena wants to wait until they’ve dealt with Klaus. Ric promises to honor Elena’s wishes because she isn’t a seventeen year old girl.

Grow a pair Ric.

Grow a pair Ric.

Jonas and Luka meet with Bonnie and Stefan at the Mystic Grill. Jonas is all full of attitude until Stefan tells him that Elijah is dead. Jonas starts to leave but Stefan stops him, telling him that he wants to help. Bonnie apologizes for drugging Luka and requests that they work together. Stefan wants to carry out the plan that Elijah and Jonas made for killing Klaus.

Damon is organizing Jonathan Gilbert’s journals in the Salvatore Boarding House library when Katherine joins him. I swear that girl is like a bad penny. She pouts when he won’t discuss the journals or their plan with her. So unbecoming. He asks if she can tell him where the witches were massacred in the 1690’s but she is less than helpful. Emily Bennett told her about the massacre but didn’t give her the location. Stefan arrives and tells them that Elijah planned to use a witch to kill Klaus. He believed that Jonah could channel power from the field where the massacre occurred.

Jonas and Luka discuss whether or not the Salvatore Brothers will be able to find the murder field. Jonas is not optimistic, believing that the only way to get Greta back is Elijah. He refers to the brothers as their enemies and tells Luka that he will let Elijah take care of them.

Elena, Bonnie and Caroline are kicking off girls’ night at the Gilbert house by discussing food. Great, now I want pizza AND Chinese. Jenna interrupts while Caroline is trying to convince the girls to watch The Notebook. She has a sad for herself, mentioning her fight with Ric. She feels like he is hiding something from her about Isobel and can’t seem to let it go. Caroline asks if she has considered that he might have a good reason for not telling her, but Jenna is firmly on the side of always telling the truth. Caroline changes the subject to dancing and all of the girls agree it would be a good idea to check out the band at the Grill.

It would seem to me that "go dancing" is code for "see Matt". I approve of this plan.

It would seem to me that “go dancing” is code for “see Matt”. I approve of this plan.

Jonas and Luka cast a spell to send Luka to the Salvatore Boarding House as some sort of astral projection. He slips past “Elena” and Damon as they are unable to see him. Katherine rudely reads over Damon’s shoulder, discovering that Emily Bennett was also killed at the site of the massacre. Damon still doesn’t believe Katherine is really on their side, telling her to get lost. She heads to the basement for a blood bag. Luka is also there and though she can’t see him, she feels his presence.

Upstairs, Stefan joins Damon, asking if he found anything in Jonathan Gilbert’s journals. He says “no” aloud for Katherine’s benefit, but shows Stefan something written on the page. Downstairs, Katherine heads to the creepy holding cell to check on Elijah’s body. She sees he is still there and turns to leave when she hears Luka trying to remove the dagger. She can’t see him, but rushes to the dagger, holding it in place. Luka is confused, still believing her to be Elena. Jonas tells him that it is Katherine Pierce and directs him to kill her. Luka releases the dagger and smashes a wooden chair to make a stake. Katherine yells for Damon as Luka stakes her, missing her heart. He helps her remove the stake and she motions toward Elijah’s body, where Luka is removing the dagger. Damon grabs a torch, setting Luka on fire. Back at the apartment, his corporeal body starts to burn. Stefan arrives and Damon tells him they are being attacked by a witch. Luka dies as Jonas looks on. He attempts to cast a spell from the grimoire, but Luka remains dead.

Peace sucker.

Peace sucker.

The girls arrive at the Grill and Ric is the first person Jenna sees, causing her to head to the bar for a drink. Caroline says hello to Matt but he ignores her. Ric approaches the bar and gets a serious reaming out; Jenna tells him that she can handle whatever it is that he’s keeping from her. Caroline whines to Elena and Bonnie about keeping secrets from Matt when Elena says the first sensible thing to ever come out of her mouth- maybe all the secret keeping is doing more harm than good so they should all tell the truth. Preach it. This inspires Caroline to take to the stage and compel the band to play back up for her. She makes a crazy speech about singing her feelings for the guy she wants to be with and launches into “Eternal Flame” while making eyes at Matt. It’s freaking hilarious. Matt soon puts her out of her misery by leaping on stage and kissing her while the crowd cheers. And looks on. Like, staring.

A grieving Jonas grabs Elena’s hairbrush and photo to do a locator spell when Stefan busts into his apartment. Jonas uses his magics to give Stefan a super migraine while screaming about having no one now that Luka is dead. Stefan is still incapacitated on the floor as Jonas leaves, having dropped his photo of Elena.

Damon hands Katherine a blood bag and stabs her with a stake back at the Salvatore Boarding House. He tells her it is not warning him that the dagger would kill him if he used it on Elijah. Perhaps this is some strange bonding ritual that I don’t understand? She removes the stake and tells him about a deal that she made with John Gilbert. John and Isobel want Damon and Stefan out of Elena’s life so they offered her a deal. If she agreed to stay and help Elena, they wouldn’t kill Stefan. Damon is confused seeing as John still tried to kill him, so Katherine clarifies: the deal was to save one brother and she chose Stefan. Damn, that’s cold.

Elena walks into the bathroom at the Grill where Caroline and Matt are in the middle of a serious make out session. They couldn’t find a less skeezy venue? Also, Matt’s working. He probably shouldn’t be macking on his girlfriend in the middle of his shift. It’s just bad business. Elena runs into Bonnie, who is also headed for the bathroom, and warns her of the coupling commencing inside. Bonnie uses this as an opportunity to ask Elena how should would feel if Bonnie started dating Jeremy. Elena gives her a lame mini speech about Jeremy suffering and needing someone fantastic like Bonnie in his life. It made me die inside. While they hug it out, Elena receives a call from Stefan. She answers it as Bonnie sees Jonas enter the Grill.

Stop making him feel all the feels. It's too painful.

Stop making him feel all the feels. It’s too painful.

Damon tells Katherine that Luka is dead and Jonas is going after Elena. She wants to go with him to find Elena, insisting that he will need her help. Yeah right.

Bonnie approaches Jonas and he tells her that Luka is dead. He shatters all of the lights while Bonnie tries to talk him down. The lack of light interrupts Caroline and Matt’s make out sesh, as he realizes he should probably do his job. Elena and Stefan sneak into the bathroom and tell her that Jonas is looking for Elena but they have a plan.

Meanwhile, Ric goes to a very nervous Jenna and tells her that she should leave. She is worried about Elena but he assures her that Stefan is keeping her safe. Jonas tells Bonnie that he won’t let anyone leave until he has Elena and sets the bar on fire. Bonnie tries to stop him but he places his hand on her forehead and knocks her out. Matt rushes to her and helps her up.

Elena approaches Jonas and apologizes for Luka’s death, asking that he allow them to help get his daughter back from Klaus. He responds by setting another bar on fire and telling her that he needs Elijah. He turns to attack Stefan and Elena when Caroline jumps on him, allowing them to get away. She tries to bite him but he gives her a magic migraine. Matt sees this and goes on the attack, pushing Jonas into a wall. Jonas breaks a bottle and shoves in into Matt’s neck before leaving. Caroline completely freaks out before rushing to Matt and feeding him blood from her wrist.

Start ALL the fires.

Start ALL the fires.

Bonnie and Jeremy are in the Gilbert kitchen. She is in disbelief that Luka is dead and Jeremy tries to make it better by telling her that he isn’t sorry? This kid is bizarre. Stefan and Elena enter the house. Elena heads upstairs while Stefan asks Bonnie and Jeremy if they checked the house. Elena goes into the bathroom when Jonas grabs her from behind. Except, oh snap! It’s Katherine and she fully vamps out. She bites him as Stefan and Bonnie enter the room. Bonnie walks toward Jonas, touching his face when he suddenly awakens, grabbing her face. She screams and Stefan kills him. Kills him dead.

Elena and Damon are downstairs, having a chat about Katherine. It seems the plan to get Jonas was all her idea, which neither of them thinks is a good thing. Except for the whole part where she saved your life. Katherine joins them, returning Elena’s necklace while cracking a joke about her clothes needing dry cleaning. Elena is crazy bitchy but Katherine takes it all in stride reminding her that she hates her too but needs her alive to stop Klaus. Three cheers for honesty.

Jenna stops on the porch of the Gilbert house, thanking Ric for walking her home. He tells her that there things about Isobel’s death he can’t share, and while she may not be able to handle that, he loves her. They say good night and it is very sad.

No smooches for Aunt Jenna.

No smooches for Aunt Jenna.

Jeremy sits with Bonnie in his room, expressing concern for her. He is worried that she is in denial over losing her magic for good, seeing as Jonas is dead. She responds by kissing him and making the lights flicker. It seems Jonas’s last act was to give Bonnie her powers back. Not only that, but he gave her the knowledge on how to kill Klaus. What a mensch.

Damon is in bed reading one of Jonathan Gilbert’s journals when Katherine enters the room in lingerie. He wonders aloud how the townspeople knew that Emily Bennett was a witch and Katherine cops to telling them as a way of tidying up loose ends. She confronts Damon about not telling her the location of the witch killing field, but he isn’t spilling the beans. She attempts to seduce hm by telling him that he was mean and monstrous. How does she think that will work? She slithers around on top of him until he pushes her off the bed. I love it.

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Matt wakes up in Caroline’s house, remembering that he was stabbed in the throat and fed blood. Her blood. To say he is confused is a vast understatement. She tells him she is a vampire and her blood healed him. He freaks out while she tells him everything will be fine, she loves him. He thinks back to Vicki and the time in the hospital when she told him that she was attacked by a vampire. He accuses Caroline of doing something to Vicki while she tries to convince him to calm down.

Jenna is eating ice cream in the kitchen when Elena joins her. Suddenly the bell rings and Jenna goes to answer the door. It’s Isobel, who introduces herself as Elena’s mother while Jenna looks on shocked.

This bitch always shows up at the worst time.

This bitch always shows up at the worst time.

BODY COUNT: 2

Luka and Jonas

QUOTABLES

DAMON: “You’re the unwanted house guest. Go feed yourself.”

JENNA: “Yeah, well, it’s your fault. Because whatever it is you’re keeping from me, whatever you think I can’t handle… you’re wrong. ‘Cause last year I was a grad student who smoked a lot of pot and couldn’t keep a goldfish alive and now I’m a parent, so I think I can handle anything, Ric.”

MUSIC

Last.fm_play.png “Epiphany” by Angel Taylor. Jenna interrupts girls’ night and the girls decide to go dancing.

Last.fm_play.png “I’ll Take The Bullet” by s.o.stereo. Matt ignores Caroline at the Grill; Ric and Jenna talk; Caroline decides to sing to Matt.

Last.fm_play.png “Eternal Flame” by Candice Accola with s.o.stereo. Caroline sings to Matt at the Grill.

Last.fm_play.png “Hello Miss Heels” by s.o.stereo. Matt and Caroline make out in the bathroom at the Grill; Bonnie talks to Elena about dating Jeremy.

Last.fm_play.png “Broken Strings” by James Morrison feat. Nelly Furtado. Bonnie tells Jeremy that she got her magic back; Katherine tries to seduce Damon.

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