Elena is sitting in the living room of the Gilbert lake house, reading one of Jonathan Gilbert’s journals. FLASHBACK and voice over! Mystic Falls, 1864- Jonathan Gilbert meets with Honoria and Thomas Fell at the Gilbert house. They believe the vampires to have been burned to death in Fell’s Church. As they enjoy dinner together, a man walks across the yard and up to the house. They hear a creaking board outside and look out the window. There is no one in sight so Thomas picks up a knife and heads out of the house, leaving the front door open. Honoria is worried, prompting Jonathan to walk outside also. He joins Thomas and they look at the Gilbert compass, nothing happening. Suddenly the arrow of the compass spins wildly and Thomas disappears. Jonathan looks around as Thomas’s body falls from the sky. Honoria runs towards him but a vampire grabs her, biting and draining her. Jonathan sees her dead body fall as the vampire turns to look at him. Surprise surprise, it is Stefan Salvatore. He walks to Jonathan, killing him.
Present- Elena looks up from the journal, shocked at what she has read. She looks at Stefan through the window; he is outside skipping stones on the lake. Damon phones him to share the news that Tyler skipped town. Now that the werewolves have been taken care of, the boys plot to kill Elijah. Damon mentions the dagger and Stefan makes him promise to be careful. Damon is delightful, swearing to do his homework. They hang up and Stefan heads toward the house.
Jenna takes Elijah on a tour of the old Fell property. Elijah shares some of his fake research with her- while the Fells were considered one of the founding families, the area was settled two centuries earlier by townsfolk from Salem. Jenna is cute, pointing out that the men were probably the ones who made a big deal about being the founders. I love Jenna. Alaric joins the two of them, pretending to be interested in walking the old property lines. Jenna goes to her car to grab some papers, leaving the men alone. Elijah makes a delightful joke about not being into younger women and pats Ric on the shoulder. It’s all very adorable.
Jeremy joins Bonnie at the Mystic Grill. He invites her to come over to his house to practice her spells. “Spells”, sure. Luka walks in and confronts them about his missing memory from the day before. Bonnie tries to play innocent but he isn’t buying it. Jeremy shoves Luka and tells him to get lost. I wish it was manlier.
Elena is startled when Stefan enters the lake house, having been completely engrossed in Jonathan Gilbert’s journal. You know, the one he wrote in after he died. They continue to “disagree” (Elena’s word) over Elena’s plan to sacrifice herself. Stefan can tell he is getting nowhere so he changes the subject, asking what Jonathan wrote about in her journal. She gives him a pointed look and he starts babbling about seeking revenge against the founding families for killing Katherine and not knowing about Jonathan’s resurrection ring. Oh yeah! I totally forgot that he was the one that started the ugly ring trend. That explains the whole writing after dying thing.
1864- Stefan is feasting on young ladies in a very fancy house. He has compelled the women to argue over who gets to be killed first. It’s gross. Damon arrives and shock of all shocks, is actually acting like the responsible one. He chides Stefan for bringing the girls to their home while the remaining founding family members are hunting them. Stefan is so not the guy we all know (and do not love) today; he is only concerned with having fun and feeding. Damon compels the girls to leave and forget about them before declaring he is done with Mystic Falls and more specifically Stefan. Stefan begs him to stay, promising to be better but Damon isn’t into it. He shoves Stefan away and huff off into the distance.
Present- Stefan tells Elena that he wasn’t really himself after he turned. The guilt he felt over forcing Damon to turn and killing Giuseppe was too much for him to handle so he turned off his emotions. He describes himself as worse than Damon, which is douchey. Damon is awesome.
Ric meets Damon and Andie at the Mystic Grill, filling them in on his encounter with Elijah. He seems a little jealous that Jenna was so taken with him, and it is freaking adorable. Ric suggests to Damon that they discuss Elijah elsewhere (cue the pointed look at Andie) but Damon assures him that she has been compelled to keep all of his secrets. They make out a little in front of Ric and I have to agree with him, the whole thing is weird. Can’t Damon have a normal girlfriend and lie to her like everyone else does?
Elijah and Jenna arrive at the Grill, joining Andie, Damon and Ric at their table. There is awkward small talk during which Ric tries to run away but Andie brings up having a dinner party, the most wonderful idea yet. Damon invites them all to dine at his house that evening and they all agree. I would seriously pay all of the money I own to attend a meal with Damon, Ric and Elijah. Talk about a three course meal.
Katherine’s body is desiccated in the tomb. It would be sad if she wasn’t such a raging bitch. Damon appears and feeds her blood from a bottle. This revives her enough that she can take the bottle and drink on her own while Damon shows her the clothes that he brought. Is he the most handsome delivery man or what? He has come to suss out why John is in town and if an original can be killed. Katherine refuses to give him an answer, telling him that Elijah’s death would mean she is stuck in the tomb forever. Bummer. He brings up the white ash and dagger, causing her to freak out. She promises to help kill Elijah and protect Elena as long as they get her out of the tomb first. Damon declines, knowing she will bolt the second they let her go. Turns out this entire visit has really been a fact finding mission. He was there to find out if an original could be killed and Katherine’s wigging out confirmed it. Oh so clever.
Stefan continues to regale (or depress) Elena with tales of his misspent vampire youth. But he brings her a mug of tea so, bonus. She asks how he managed to not get caught and he reminds her that a war was going on. Blood was freely flowing and it was generally ignored when people vanished. More important things to worry about and all that.
1864- Stefan is drinking the blood of a wounded soldier on the outskirts of a camp for the sick and injured. He sees a hooded figure head for the woods and follows it. Because he’s an idiot. He stalks the figure, super speeding around, trying to intimidate him/her. He manages to tackle it but he/she some super speed and strength of their own, using it to pin him to the ground. The hooded figure is Lexi! Her face is fully vamped as she asks Stefan what kind of idiot he is.
Present- Elena asks a lot of questions about Lexi that are really statements. Like, “That’s how you met her?” Obviously, he just told you.
1864- Stefan invites Lexi to come stay at the Salvatore house. Stefan has left the bodies of the dead girls strewn around the parlor. Lexi refers to him as “a ripper”, a term Stefan has never heard before. She tells him that he is the bad part of being a vampire and vows to change it.
Present- Stefan has a little sad talking about Lexi on account of it bringing up memories. Like the time Damon killed her.
Jenna and Andie are setting the table at the Salvatore Boarding House, having a chat about their boyfriends. Jenna really likes Ric but feels like he’s hiding something from her. Thanks for planting that seed of doubt John. Andie is kind of a bitch, telling Jenna that Damon tells her everything because trust is the key to any relationship. Basically the smuggest thing she could have said.
Meanwhile, Ric and Damon are in the library discussing their plan and drinking scotch. Ric is nervous about Jenna being in the house with Elijah but Damon reassures him that dinner is a fact-finding mission only. Ric makes him promise that nothing will happen that could put Jenna in harm’s way. It’s all quite chivalrous how he’s trying to shield her from the things that go bump in the night. Andie pops in and tells Ric that Jenna needs help with the wine. Damon waits until he has left the room to pull out the dagger and vial of ash. He compels Andie to suggest the men have drinks in the library after dinner while the ladies have coffee in the kitchen.
The doorbell rings and Jenna answers only to find John, who has invited himself for dinner. Boo hiss. Ric and Damon are less than pleased to see him. Join the club.
Jeremy greets Bonnie at the door of the Gilbert house and the first thing she does (after saying hello) is ask for food. Some house guest. Jeremy has gone massively overboard, filling the living room with lit candles. Is this something that teenage boys do? Because in my experience, no. Bonnie freaks that they are on a date (um, duh) and tells him that she has to clear whatever is going on between them with Elena first. Jeremy is kind of adorable (words I never thought I would type), focused more on if she enjoyed their kiss than what she has to say about Elena. Oh boys.
Elijah arrives to the dinner party, impeccably dressed as usual. While it is just him and Damon at the door, he warns Damon against trying anything. He threatens to break his deal with Elena and slaughter everyone in the house if Damon makes any moves. Elijah doesn’t mess around. They join the rest of the group and pleasantries are exchanged before everyone sits at the table to eat. Jenna tells Damon that the Salvatores weren’t really one of the founding families of Mystic Falls, prompting Elijah to provide them all with a history lesson. Settlers came from Salem in the 1690s during which anti-witch hysteria was sweeping the area. Witches were rounded up and burned in a nearby field. Elijah is doing research to find the location of the field (something Damon notes). Just your average dinner party conversation.
Elena continues to read from Jonathan Gilbert’s various journals because that’s what teenage girls do when they are alone in a beautiful, romantic lake house with their super hot boyfriends. She stumbles across information on the originals. It seems that Jonathan researched them. Elena shows Stefan a picture of a silver dagger drawn on one of the pages. Elena is excited at the idea that a dagger to kill an original could exist, something Stefan confirms. He tells her that John gave it to Damon to use on Elijah. Except, oh snap, the dagger can only be used by a human. If a supernatural being uses it, it will kill him too. Stefan immediately puts two and two together, calling Damon before John can get him killed.
Damon gets up from the table to retrieve more liquor. This is why he is my favorite.
Stefan is unable to reach Damon, who has turned his phone off. He tells Elena that Damon is planning to kill Elijah at the dinner party.
Andie suggests that the men have a drink in the library. Jenna gives John plates to carry and he vanishes. When Ric asks if he can help, she brushes him off and leaves the room. John returns and tells Ric that he just happened to mention to Jenna that she hadn’t been told the entire story where Isobel is concerned. He threatens to continue being a nuisance until Ric gives him the resurrection ring. As John leaves once again, Ric receives a panicked call from Stefan.
Damon is pouring drinks in the library, discussing the dead witch field with Elijah. They are both keeping (or pretending to keep) information from each other. Elijah turns to back to Damon, admiring the collection of books on the shelves. Damon uses this opportunity to grab the dagger, but Ric and Andie come rushing into the room. Ric tells them that they forgot dessert. Elijah escorts Andie out of the room while Damon and Ric silently fight. Ric tries to motion to the dagger but Damon doesn’t understand. He finally writes “The dagger will kill you if you use it” on a piece of paper and hands it to Damon who is pissed, quite understandably.
The party guests reconvene in the dining room, minus Jenna who is attempting to prepare dessert. Andie prepares to interview Elijah about his research, asking Ric if he can grab a notebook out of her purse. He bumbles around, unable to find it so she leaves the room to grab it herself. John asks Elijah how he intends to kill Klaus but Elijah isn’t in a mood to answer questions. He tells John and Damon that he will only keep up his end of the Elena deal if they stay out of the way, otherwise he will take her away. Andie rejoins the party and prepares to question Elijah when Ric sneaks behind him and stabs the dagger through Elijah’s heart, killing him. Ric pulls the dagger out while everyone else looks on in shock and tells Damon to get rid of the body before Jenna sees.
Elena and Stefan argue about him keeping secrets from her. She is upset that the boys are going behind her back, making decisions about her life for her. Stefan vows to not give up on her just like Lexi would not give up on him.
1864-Lexi walks Stefan through a camp for injured soldiers, trying to convince him to turn his emotions back on. She knows it will be hard for him to handle the guilt of killing people but he’ll be able to love, which she seems to think is a selling point.
Present- Stefan is super mushy, telling Elena he wants her to fight before kissing her forehead and walking back into the house.
Ric and Damon move Elijah’s corpse into the creepy basement holding cell. Ric is pissed that violence ensued despite Damon’s promise that the evening would be a fact-finding mission. Damon reminds him that he’s the one that did the violence. Ric is pissed that Damon lied to him, because they’re friends. Aww.
Stefan tells Elena that Ric killed Elijah. She reads a bit from Jonathan’s journal about how the dagger doesn’t real kill an original. They will be dead-ish as long as the dagger stays in place. Oh shit. Stefan rushes to the phone and calls Damon.
Damon runs to the cellar and sees that Elijah is gone. This can’t be good.
Elijah arrives at Jonah’s apartment and demands that he find Elena.
Bonnie uses her magics to steal the flames from Jeremy’s candles and collect them in her hands. It’s actually kind of cool. She returns the flames, explaining to Jer that she is channeling the elements. She tries to channel Jeremy, taking power from the water in his body. Suddenly the door busts open and Jonas walks in. He uses magic to throw Jeremy into a wall before demanding Bonnie tell him what she learned from Luka. She says she wants to work with him but he grabs her face and starts chanting a spell. He threatens her before stalking out of the house. Jeremy rushes to Bonnie who tells him that Jonas took her powers.
Elijah walks toward the Gilbert lake house, pausing to grab some rocks off the ground. He throws the rocks at the door, knocking it off the hinges. Elena wants to talk to him but Stefan prevents her from going outside. Elijah threatens to wait her out if she doesn’t let him in. She tells him that she wants to renegotiate their deal, using herself as a bargaining chip. She threatens to stab herself if Elijah doesn’t agree to keep protecting her friends. He calls her bluff so SHE STABS HERSELF. WTF? Elijah tries to run to her to heal her but can’t get into the house. She makes him swear to uphold his end of the deal before limping outside to him. He takes her in his arms and she full on stabs him with the dagger! WTF is happening? Stefan rushes out of his hiding spot and feeds her some of his blood while Damon walks out. He reminds them not to pull the dagger out.
Ric and Jenna have a confrontation of their own in the Gilbert kitchen. Jenna wants to know what happened to Isobel but Ric dodges her question, instead accusing John of trying to stir up trouble. She asks if he is being honest, to which he responds with silence. She leaves the room crying and John enters. He is all smarmy, offering to clear up the Isobel stuff if Ric agrees to his terms. Ric gives him the resurrection ring, reminding John that he screwed over Damon who will definitely want revenge.
Damon and Stefan return Elijah’s body to the Salvatore Boarding House holding cell while Elena looks on. Damn, they get a lot of use out of that thing. Damon searches Elijah’s pockets (total creep move) and finds the moonstone, which he refers to as “a little moonstone bar of soap”. Elena starts to leave but not before telling the boys that they have to keep her in the loop if they want her to fight for her life; she wants things done her way. Both boys agree so she takes off. Damon asks Stefan how he got Elena to change her mind and Stefan tells him it was Lexi. Ouch.
1864- Damon heads for the front door of the Salvatore House but is stopped by Lexi. They have some back and forth about his hatred getting the best of him before he asks her to help Stefan. It’s really quite touching.
Present- Damon hears his shower running and calls out to Andie. Only, oh shit, it’s not Andie. Katherine waltz out of the shower completely naked and asks Damon for a robe. He doesn’t understand how she got out of the tomb so she tells him that she tricked him with a little reverse psychology. She wanted him to kill Elijah so his compulsion over her would be broken. She tells him that she meant what she said in the tomb; she wants to work with the boys to stop Klaus.
BODY COUNT: 4ish
Honoria and Thomas Fell (in flashback) and Elijah (a little and then again)
DAMON: “Yes, Stefan, I’ve become you. How tragic for both of us. Got to run. I’ve a murder to plan. Busy day.”
DAMON: “There’s no such thing as a bad idea. Just poorly executed awesome ones.”
JEREMY: “No, no it’s not like a date, date. It’s more of a hey, I kissed you, and I thought you like it, um…hang thing.”
DAMON: “So, let me guess. In addition to the moonstone, the doppelganger, the lion, the witch and the wardrobe, you need to find this witch burial ground.”