Jules and Brady are in the woods burning the bodies of the wolves killed by Stefan and Damon. They are joined by a man named Stevie (which is a ridiculous name for a grown man), who puts together the pieces of the moonstone puzzle. He tells Jules and Brady that Mason was “banging that hot vampire chick Kathy and he didn’t want anyone to know” and he asked Stevie a bunch of questions about the sun and moon curse. When Jonas the “evil man-witch” showed up, it all clicked for Stevie- someone is assembling the components necessary to break the curse. Brady goes into tough guy mode, vowing to kill “every last vampire” to prevent it from happening. Pathetic.
Elena, Bonnie and Caroline are participating in the sleeping part of their sleepover when Elena receives a call from Stefan. Elena is super forward for a seventeen year old, asking him when they can have a sleepover of their own. Super inappropriate. She wants Stefan to take her far away from the moonstone and the wolves and especially John.
Andie is getting ready for work at the Salvatore Boarding House while telling Damon about the Historical Society’s high tea that she covering as news. Turns out the tea is being given for Elijah Smith, a “writer” who is there for a book on small-town Virginia. Damon is more concerned that Andie has her story down- she really hit it off with Damon and finds him super charming. Oh, and there is to be no mention of biting or drinking blood. He compels her to fall in love with him and sends her off to work.
As Andie leaves, Ric arrives. Damon shows him the dagger and vial that John gave him to kill Elijah. They discuss the probability that the dagger does nothing, seeing as it was received from John. Ric tells Damon that he and Jenna will be attending the Historical Society tea. Damon decides that it is time for him to officially meet Elijah. Damn, I don’t know if the room can handle that much handsomeness.
Bonnie and Caroline are at the Mystic Grill, discussing some “big witchy plan” that Bonnie is coming up with. I don’t want to rain on the parade, but it will probably be a bust. Because Bonnie is the worst. It seems the plan consists of Bonnie asking Luka to tell her everything that he knows about Elijah. She seems to think she can force him to tell her the truth. Good luck with that. Caroline sees Matt and gives him a smile but he looks away upset. Can’t these kids just have five seconds of happiness?
Tyler meets Jules in the woods, reminding her about Jonah’s warning. Brady and Stevie join them, and Brady asks Ty for his help in finding the moonstone. He doesn’t understand what’s so special about a stupid rock so they clue him in on the curse of the sun and the moon. Tyler is particularly intrigues when Jules tell him that he may never have to change again if a wolf is the one to break the curse. Stevie tells him that “they” must have found the doppelganger and he’s willing to bet “Kathy” is somehow involved. He shows Tyler a picture of Katherine who Ty mistakes for Elena. Looks like they found who the doppelganger is.
Caroline approaches Matt at work about the weirdness between them. He asks her point blank who she was with the night before when she was supposed to meet him after work. She starts to lie but he cuts her off, telling her that he knows she wasn’t with Bonnie. He takes off before she can come up with a new story. Tyler arrives, telling Caroline that he has important news. She is still crazy pissed about his lack of help in the werewolf vs. vampire rumble. While they are talking, he accidentally knocks her purse on the floor, pocketing something as he “helps” her pick up the contents. She leaves in a huff, saying she wants to be left alone. Matt appears and tells Ty off, thinking he is carrying on a secret relationship with Caroline that they are lying to him about. What a clusterfuck.
Elena and Stefan are at the Gilbert house, preparing to leave on their romantic weekend. While Stefan puts their bags in the car, Elena receives a text from Caroline saying she needs to talk. Elena texts that they are headed to her parent’s lake house and asks if Care is okay. They text back says she is fine so Elena and Stefan take off. Meanwhile, Tyler is in the woods with Jules, Brady and Stevie. He stole Caroline’s phone and texted Elena pretending to be her. Not cool bro. The wolves head to the lake house to kidnap Elena.
Elena and Stefan arrive at the lake house in Stefan’s super sweet car where she has a little sad. She hasn’t been there since her parents died and experiences a flood of memories. As she enters the house, Stefan is stuck outside. He reminds her that he can’t come in without an invitation and she tells him that the house was officially passed to Uncle John so she can’t invite him in. Sike! She was just kidding around and invites him inside so he can shove his tongue down her throat. Classy.
Carol is hosting the Historical Society Tea Party at the Lockwood Mansion. She chats with Elijah about his “book” as Damon arrives. Jenna is surprised to see him there and is extra surprised when he shares a kiss with Andie. He goes to greet Carol who introduces him to Elijah. They exchange pleasantries and shake hands.
Bonnie approaches Luka, who is shooting pool at the Grill. She gives him a cup of coffee as a peace offering as Caroline and Jeremy look on. Luka asks if Bonnie wants to shoot a game but suddenly feels ill. Jeremy catches Luka as he is about to fall, having been given a roofie in the coffee.
Back at the lake house, Elena has a little sad while sitting on the dock overlooking the lake. She asks Stefan if he ever thinks about their future. Stefan offers to discuss the kind of future they can have together but Elena quickly changes the topic to the present. He is very sweet, telling her that he loves her.
Elijah and Damon enter Mayor Douche’s office for a tête-à-tête while Ric and John look on. John is mildly insulting, referring to Ric as Damon’s little helper. He threatens to tell Jenna about Ric’s “extracurricular activities” to which Ric responds by calling him a dick. I kind of love Ric. John warns Ric from sleeping over at the Gilbert house and tells him that he wants his resurrection ring back. You know, the one Isobel gave to Ric.
Inside the office, Damon and Elijah minor face off over why Elijah is in town. He wants Damon to mind his own business but we all know that’s impossible where Elena is involved. Damon tries to block Elijah from leaving the room and is both strangled and the recipient of a broken wrist for his efforts. Elijah is pissed that Damon would attempt to challenge him, and Damon doesn’t make things better by reminding him that part of the deal is to keep him safe. He shoves a pencil through Damon’s throat to silence him. Before leaving he issues one last threat, telling Damon that he will kill him as soon as he stops being useful. Can’t they all just get along?
Stefan is cooking at the lake house while Elena does her best impression of a desperate housewife, complete with wine glass in hand. She notices that the fire in the fireplace is dying and they briefly argue over who will get more wood. She goes to her parent’s bedroom to grab a jacket for Stefan and they flirt over how hot he looks in her grandfather’s coat. It’s kind of gross. The flirting leads to heavy making out which leads to Stefan noticing there is a hollow wall in the room. Um, that took an uninteresting turn. He breaks the wall down and finds a door behind which are vampire killing weapons.
Bonnie and company have carried Luka to Caroline’s house. They place candles around the living room while Bonnie tells Jeremy she is going to go into a trance and ask Luka questions. Jer leaves to get a bowl of water and the girls discuss his crush on Bonnie, which I still cannot fathom. Care thinks she should give him a chance despite only seeing him as Elena’s little brother. Bonnie seems to be coming around to her way of thinking when he returns to the room. Bonnie dips her hands in the water and places them on Luka’s head, beginning the spell.
Damon and Ric discuss Elijah while hanging out in the library of the Salvatore Boarding House. Ric is awesome, calling him scary but with nice hair. The discussion turns briefly to Andie. Ric makes Damon promise not to kill her, seeing as she is a friend of Jenna’s. Ric leaves to pick up Jenna. After a moment Damon hears a noise and goes to investigate. NEVER INVESTIGATE! He finds Ric bleeding with a stake in his stomach. Stevie jumps him and injects him in the neck with a syringe. There is a bit of a struggle before Damon falls to the floor. Two other wolves enter the room and grab Ric, whom they assume is dead. Jules arrives after the dirty work has been done because she sucks.
In the creepy weapon room, Elena finds one of Jonathan Gilbert’s journals. Stefan leaves to grab some more firewood.
Brady and Tyler are in Brady’s RV having a pep talk. Brady reminds Tyler that he has been lied to and how the vampires are the enemy, etc. It’s all very boring. Brady threatens Ty with having to deal with him if he doesn’t go through whatever lame plan they have concocted. Seriously, no one is afraid of you dude.
John and Jenna have serious words in the Gilbert kitchen regarding Elena. He mildly flips out when she tells him that Elena and Stefan have gone to the lake house for the weekend, accusing her of being negligent. Jenna tells him that Elena wanted to get away from him and so does she, so she will be staying with Ric. John thinks Ric is dangerous and asks Jenna if Ric ever told her what happened to his wife. He brings up the fact that Isobel’s body was never found which seems to confuse Jenna. And me. Is he seriously trying to lead her to believe that Ric killed Isobel?
Damon is chained to a chair at the Salvatore Boarding House, complete with collar with wooden spikes. Poor babe. He sees Ric’s dad body but notes that he is wearing his resurrection ring (yay!). Stevie is holding a chain attached to the collar, taunting Damon and pulling on the chain. Jules asks where the moonstone is, but Damon refuses to tell her instead citing the irony of the situation. He tells her that she’ll torture him, he won’t talk and someone will lose a heart. Stevie pulls on the collar again when he mentions Mason’s heart being ripped out. Bad idea bro.
After some resistance, Bonnie is able to put Luka into a trance. Luka and Jonas are working with Elijah to kill Klaus. Klaus kidnapped Luka’s sister and Elijah promised to return her if they help him. They have to wait until after the sacrifice to kill Klaus; there will be a moment where he is weak. Elena has to die in order for them to kill Klaus.
Stefan is in the garage when he senses a presence behind him. He turns around and is shot with a wooden bullet by Brady. Tyler arrives to keep an eye on Stefan while Brady heads to the house. Stefan tries to persuade Ty that they are on the same side but he is shot with another wooden bullet. Stefan tells Tyler that they have to kill Elena to break the curse.
Meanwhile, Elena has grown tired of waiting for Stefan so she grabs a knife and heads outside. Brady grabs her but she stabs him and runs back into the house, locking the door. Brady pulls the knife out and breaks the door down, being super creepy. He actually tells Elena that he can smell her. It’s gross. She pulls off her sweater and puts it on a bed upstairs. While Brady sniffs the sweater, she hides in her parent’s room. He tracks the scent and looks in the hidden room but she isn’t there. When his back is turned, she shoves a stake into his body and runs outside, grabbing the knife along the way. Brady removes the stake and tries to follow but runs into Stefan who rips his heart out (YAY!!). While Elena and Stefan hug it out, Tyler approaches and apologizes to Elena. He didn’t know that they were going to kill her. Naturally, she gives him a hug. Because that’s what you do when your supposed friend leads a crazy werewolf to your house to kill you.
Jules threatens Damon with a gun full of buckshot if he doesn’t tell her where the moonstone is. Elijah appears, stone in hand and places it on the bar, telling the wolves to take it. One wolf walks toward him and gets his heart ripped out. Two more approach and become heartless as well. Jules leaves while Stevie attempts to hide, but Elijah finds him. He punches him in the face and kills him simultaneously. He removes Damon’s chains and casually reminds him that this is the third time he has saved his life. He takes the moonstone and leaves.
Damon calls Bonnie and they discuss the whole Elena dying as part of Elijah’s plan thing. Damon hangs up as Ric awakens. Ric calls Jenna and they make plans to see each other the next day. Jenna does not look super pumped about it. Don’t let John get into your head!
Stefan receives a call from Damon, filling him in on Elijah’s plan to sacrifice Elena. They hang up and Stefan shares the bad news with Elena. Only she isn’t surprised. She tells Stefan that Elijah was very clear about protecting her friends, not her. Stefan is angry that she would allow herself to be killed, accusing her of being a martyr. She tries to argue that it is the same as him dying to keep her safe, but he counters by pointing out that he has already lived 162 years. He shoots her a disappointed Stefan look before leaving.
Bonnie and Jeremy are alone in Caroline’s house. She assures him that Luka will remember nothing from the trance. Upon learning that Caroline has left to drop Luka at the Grill, Jeremy swoops in and kisses Bonnie. It makes me throw up a little.
Carol is turning out the lights at the Lockwood Mansion when she hears a noise. She doesn’t see anyone but finds a letter from Tyler.
Tyler goes to the Grill to see Matt because the boy never has time off from work. He explains that Caroline has been helping him go through a rough time and he “kind of fell for her”. But she’s in love with Matt and needs/deserves him. He makes Matt promise to be good to her before taking off.
Caroline is in her bedroom but senses someone at the front door. She looks outside but can’t see Tyler, who is watching her like a creep. He climbs into Jules’s car, ready to leave town with her. He makes her promise that there won’t be any more lies before they drive off.
BODY COUNT: 5
Brady (suck on that), three unnamed wolves and Stevie
CAROLINE: “She’s selling it, and he’s buying it. She’s giving him the sex smile.”
STEFAN: “I look hot in your dead great granddad’s jacket?”