Recap That Noise: Vampire Diaries, 2.09 Katerina

FLASHBACK! From right out of the gate! Bulgaria, 1490- Katherine is delivering a baby with the help of a woman I think is her mother. There is also a man that I am hoping is her father. Either that or it’s some weird Bulgarian thing to have strange men watch you give birth. Katherine is pushing and screaming until a baby girl pops out. She asks to see the baby but her mother hands the girl to the father who refuses to let Katherine see her. He calls Kat a disgrace to the family and takes off, baby in hand. Katherine has a serious sad with her mom, crying about the daughter she never got to hold. This suddenly explains SO MUCH about her.

Remind me to ban all cameras when I am giving birth.

Remind me to ban all cameras when I am giving birth.

Present- Elena arrives at the Salvatore Boarding House looking for Stefan, who asked her to come over for something important. She enters the house and sees Rose who launches into a story about Klaus, who is one of the original vampires. He is, in fact, the oldest vampire in history. It seems that Elijah is one of Klaus’s “foot soldiers” (cue Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song) and has a much more docile personality that his leader. There is some great banter between Rose and Damon about whether Klaus is coming after Elena for certain or if it is speculation. Stefan doesn’t seem too worried about it, citing the fact that he’s never met anyone who has laid eyes on Klaus; he doesn’t even know if he is real. Rose thinks they are idiots if they underestimate the threat of Klaus. Elena has a massive case of denial, shrugging it all off and leaving for school.

Jeremy is helping Bonnie with her books at MFHS. and asking her out on a date. He wants to know if she would like to shoot pool at the Mystic Grill. Bonnie is all up in his grill, wanting to know why he suddenly has an interest in shooting pool with her. I’m wondering the same thing. It seems like she is scaring him off, but ultimately agrees even though he’s Elena’s brother. Like that ever stopped anyone from dating/banging him. Their super awkward conversation is interrupted by a new kid named Luka who is looking for directions to the office. He has a bit of a moment with Bonnie, basically ignoring Jeremy. Jer picks up on the frisson and offers to take Luka himself. WORST POTENTIAL LOVE TRIANGLE EVER.

Electric in the air!

Electric in the air!

Elena and Caroline are in the woods, discussing how Elena ditched school and enlisted Caroline’s help in distracting Stefan, despite Care being the worst liar in the world. They arrive at the tomb beneath the ruins of Fells’ Church. It would appear that Elena’s master plan consists of asking Katherine for the truth about Klaus. Caroline reminds her that Katherine isn’t known for being trustworthy but Elena would rather take her chances than wait around.

Katherine appears at the door of the tomb, eager for company? It sure seems that way. Elena tells Katherine she wants to make a trade- blood bags for information. Katherine agrees and launches into her past, beginning with being thrown out of Bulgaria for having a child out of wedlock. She was banished to England, where she met a noble man named Klaus. She was into him at first but discovered what kind of person he really was/is and has been on the run ever since.

England, 1492- Katherine is running through the woods while Elijah and his men are in pursuit. Elijah shouts a creepy comment about being able to smell her blood before telling her that Klaus will track her down no matter where she runs. Trevor arrives (yay for handsomeness!) and misdirects the men, telling them he smells blood in the opposite direction from where Katherine is hiding. The men head out while Trevor tells Katherine to head to a cottage nearby where she will be safe.

Present- Katherine tells Elena that Klaus wanted to drain her blood to break the Sun and Moon Curse.

Meanwhile, Rose is at the Salvatore Boarding House, weeping. Damon is adorable, giving her the nickname Rosebud and failing to cheer her up by making a crack about Trevor losing his head. They discuss turning off the vampire emotions switch- she thinks he should turn his off so he can forget being in love with Elena. He tells her he isn’t in love with anyone before threatening her from getting on his bad side.Damon changes the subject, asking how he can find Klaus. She tells him that she got in touch with Elijah, the closest person to Klaus, via a man named Slater in Richmond. Damon proposes a road trip, which I totally wish I could crash.

Super cute even when making this face.

Super cute even when making this face.

At MFHS, Caroline begins her distract Stefan mission by blurting out that she told Tyler she is a vampire. Smooth move Care.

Elena is feeding Katherine what seems like massive amounts of blood back at the tomb. Katherine tells her that the Sun and Moon Curse was bound using the sacrifice of Petrova blood and the whole reason the doppelganger was created was as a means to undo the spell.

1492- Katherine arrives at the cottage in the woods, where an old woman answers her knocking on the door. Rose arrives just as she is telling the old woman that Trevor promised she would receive help there. Rose invites her inside for some food and water. Once settled, Katherine shows Rose the moonstone as a way of proving her identity. She tells Rose that she stole the stone from Klaus to prevent the sacrifice ritual. Rose warns her that no one escapes from Klaus and tells her that she will be returning Katherine and the stone back to him at nightfall. She then grabs Katherine and throws her into a room.

Present- Rose and Damon are parking their car in an underground parking lot. They are meeting Slater, who Rose arranged a meeting with. Damon is awesome, pushing her into a wall and threatening her against setting him up. Rose is even more awesome, throwing Damon into a car before reminding him that she is both older and stronger than him. She promises he can trust her and they enter a coffee shop, which seems like a vampire haven. Not only is there a back entrance that is accessible from the underground lot, but the windows are double-paned and temped so UV rays can’t penetrate them. Slater soon joins them and rattles off a brief history of Damon when Rose attempts to introduce him. Kind of creepy. He then exchanges pleasantries and asks where Trevor is.

1492- Rose enters the room where Katherine is being held and finds her bleeding. She confiscates the knife Katherine used to cut herself and feeds her blood to heal the wound. Trevor arrives, looking for Katherine. Rose rushes to him, leaving Kat alone in the room. Trevor tells Rose that he is in love with Katherine and would rather be on the run with her until he dies than have Klaus sacrifice her. What is with this girl? She must have a magic vagina. Trevor and Rose hear a sound from the other room and investigate. It would seem that Ms. Katherine hanged herself.

Where did the rope come from?

Where did the rope come from?

Present- Elena is shocked to hear that Katherine killed herself. Katherine saw it as a logical step- Klaus needed a human doppelganger to complete the ritual; as a vampire she was worthless to him. Elena seems uneasy and scared about dying, which Katherine totally calls her out on. Kat cuts her wrist open with her nail and tells Elena that her time to make a choice is running out.

1492- Katherine awakens, a vampire. Trevor is upset that she turned rather than go on the run with him. Rose is pissed that Katherine used them. Dude, that’s what she does. Rose launches herself at Katherine with a stake, but Katherine grabs the old lady to use as a shield. The stake goes into the lady’s shoulder and Katherine drinks her blood to transition. She throws the lady at Trevor and super speeds away.

Present- Elena has a little sad that Rose and Trevor had to spend 500 years on the run because of Katherine. And now Trevor and all of his handsomeness is dead. Katherine lacks any sort of remorse, telling Elena that she always looks out for herself and that Elena should do the same.

Caroline and Stefan have moved from MFHS to the Mystic Grill. I love that these vampires are the kind that eat. I would eat CONSTANTLY if my body was never changing. Stefan is giving Caroline a mini lecture about putting herself and all the other vamps at risk by coming out to Tyler. She asks why he is such a good friend to her and he tells her that she reminds him of Lexi. Awww. He starts to leave but she quickly asks what they are going to do about Tyler. She doesn’t want Damon to kill him, but there is a full moon coming and Ty is already freaking out about having to turn.

Luka and his father are also eating at the Grill. Bonnie passes by their table and Luka stops her to introduce her to his father, Dr. Jonas Martin. Such a sophisticated name. They invite her to join them while she waits for Jeremy to arrive. This is serious overkill. I have never moved to a new town and suddenly been keen on introducing strangers I met exactly once for thirty seconds to my mother. It’s just not happening. Anyway, Bonnie learns that they moved there from Louisiana and Dr. Martin did his residency is Massachusetts where he knew some Bennett’s. I never thought I’d say this, but thankfully Jeremy arrives to put me out of my misery. As Bonnie says goodbye to the good doctor and his son, she touches Luka’s shoulder and feels something. Because it’s totally appropriate to go around touching strangers.

Damon and Rose are at the coffee shop in Richmond, filling Slater in on the whole Elijah and Trevor being dead thing. It would appear that Slater is quite the brain, having earned eighteen undergrad degrees, three masters and four PHDs. Sounds like my kind of nerd. Rose asks how he gets in touch with Klaus, and he tells her about responding to an ad on Craigslist that puts him in touch with somebody who knows a guy who knows Elijah. Who’s dead. Outside of the coffee shop, there is a man playing guitar. Someone puts cash in his cup and takes his coins. It’s Elijah! Oh you sneaky spy.

Sneakiest spy there ever was.

Sneakiest spy there ever was.

Bonnie and Jeremy are playing pool at the Grill when Luka approaches them, asking to play the winner. Bonnie asks where Dr. Martin went but Luka seems unconcerned, saying he will see his dad at home.

On the other side of the Grill, Caroline is doing a terrible job of distracting Stefan, who admits that he knows she is playing him. He asks where Elena is but Caroline refuses to tell him, despite his pointing out that she recently kidnapped and could be in danger. Caroline promises that she isn’t in danger, leaving Stefan to assume that she is with Damon. I wish. Caroline nips that in the bud but ultimately refuses to break Elena’s trust. Stefan is a baby so he stomps off.

Back at the tomb, Elena asks Katherine how much of her story is true and why she came back to Mystic Falls. Katherine says she has no reason to lie, but isn’t that a very Katherine thing to say? She tells Elena that she was hoping to use the moonstone and the doppelganger to strike a deal for her freedom. Elena asks what else she needs to break the curse. Katherine tells her that she needs a werewolf, a witch and a vampire. Tyler, Bonnie and Caroline. Elena is disgusted that Katherine would hand them all over to die, but Kat is nonchalant, telling her it’s better for them to die then her before walking back into the tomb.

Damon is still questioning Slater, asking him why Klaus would want to remove the Sun and Moon Curse if the originals know about daylight rings. After all, he did see Elijah walking around in the sun. Slater tells him that Klaus is worried about a werewolf breaking the curse first; if a vampire breaks the sun curse, then the wolves are stuck with the moon curse forever and vice versa. Damon asks if there is a way to prevent the curse from being broken by either party. Slater doesn’t understand why he would want to prevent a vampire from breaking the sun curse. Elijah, still outside, has been eavesdropping on the entire conversations. He takes the coins he took from the homeless man and throws them at the window of the coffee shop, shattering the glass. Slater and Rose start to burn, providing a distraction. Damon covers Rose with a jacket and carries her to the car while Slater runs away. Rose has a major freak out, crying about how Klaus will never stop trying to kill her.

I'd lose my shit too.

I’d lose my shit too.

Luka approaches Bonnie at the Grill and performs some magic in front of her, floating salt over a table. Both he and Dr. Martin are warlocks (male witches). Of course they are.

Strange magic.

Strange magic.

Elena is gathering her things to leave the tomb when Stefan appears. He warns her not to listen to a word that Katherine has to stay. He swears that he won’t let anything happen to her, but Elena isn’t convinced. She thinks he will die trying to save her. Katherine reappears to interrupt them, telling Stefan that there is nothing he can do.

Bulgaria, 1492- Katherine has returned to her family home only to find that her parents have been killed. She has a sad over her mother’s dead body.

Her sad face makes her look like a blow up doll.

Her sad face makes her look like a blow up doll.

Present- Katherine tells Stefan and Elena that Klaus murdered her entire family as a way of getting revenge on her for running. She warns Elena that if she tries to escape Klaus, he will seek vengeance on anyone that she loves. She tells them there is nothing they can do to stop Klaus unless they have the moonstone, which she conveniently has in her possession. Stefan sees through it, knowing Katherine will use it as a bargain chip for her freedom. She really just wanted to flaunt that fact that she will be the safest person in town, seeing as Klaus won’t be able to entire the tomb without getting stuck like she is. That bitch.

Rose and Damon share a drink at the Salvatore Boarding House. Rose apologizes for the explosion and tells Damon that he reminds her of Trevor. They both talk a big game but deep down they are extremely loyal. They toast to friendship which is kind of adorable. Rose has to ruin the moment by telling him she thinks it’s smart for him to fight the way he feels for Elena; one can only survive if they don’t care about anyone. They dare each other to shut off their emotions and start making out.

That escalated quickly but can you blame her?

That escalated quickly but can you blame her?

Jeremy is playing pool at the Grill when he spies Bonnie and Luka chatting. He has a tiny sad before leaving.

Elena and Stefan are on the porch of the Gilbert house, having a heart to heart. He begs her not to shut him out, causing a flood of tears. She is upset that not only is she in danger, but Tyler, Caroline and Bonnie are as well. She has a total Elena moment, freaking out that everything is because of her. Stefan hugs her and kisses her forehead rather than smacking her and telling her to get over herself. To each their own.

Katherine is in the tomb reading the Petrova family history book when she finds a portrait of her with her parents (how is that even possible?) and gets all teary eyed. The freak does have feelings.

Damon and Rose are all curled up by the fireplace at the Salvatore Boarding House, sexy times concluded. Rose tells him that the vampire emotion switch is a lie. While you may be able to shut feelings off as a new vamp, eventually you can only fake having turned it off. She receives a phone call from Slater who apologizes for taking off on them. He tells her that they need the moonstone and a witch to break the curse before hanging up. And who should be coaching him on what to say but Elijah. It seems the original is able to compel other vampires to do his bidding. He hands Slater a stake and compels him to drive it through his heart. Poor nerd. Oh shit, Dr. Jonas is working with Elijah!

My poor little nerdy Slater. We could have made beautiful, really smart babies.

My poor little nerdy Slater. We could have made beautiful, really smart babies.

BODY COUNT: 1

Slater

QUOTABLES

KATHERINE: “I don’t want my freedom because when Klaus shows up to kill us all and he will, I’ll be in the tomb, where no vampire will enter because they can’t get out. I’ll be the safest psychotic bitch in town.”

NICE TO MEET YOU

Bryton James as Luka Martin

Bryton James as Luka Martin

Trevor Peterson as Slater

Trevor Peterson as Slater

Randy J. Goodwin as Dr. Jonas Martin

Randy J. Goodwin as Dr. Jonas Martin

MUSIC

Last.fm_play.png “You Always Get What You Want” by Atomic Tom. Jeremy asks Bonnie out on a date; Bonnie and Jeremy meet Luka.

Last.fm_play.png “A Moment Changes Everything” by David Gray. Rose takes Damon to see Slater.

Last.fm_play.png “Precious Stone” by Pete Yorn. Stefan tells Caroline that she reminds him of Lexi; Luka introduces Bonnie to Dr. Martin.

Last.fm_play.png “Puritan Heart” by Matt Duncan. Damon assures Slater that Elijah is dead.

Last.fm_play.png “Light Love” by Free Energy. Luke interrupts Bonnie and Jeremy playing pool; Stefan confronts Caroline about distracting him.

Last.fm_play.png “Trap of Mirrors” by The Pass.  Luka performs magic in front of Bonnie.

Last.fm_play.png “Amen Omen” by Ben Harper. Rose and Damon make out; Jeremy spies on Bonnie and Luka; Stefan comforts Elena; Katherine cries over her dead parents.

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