Are You Afraid of Embarrassment?: Tale of the Drooling Girlfriend

Have you ever been going through the day and had a memory suddenly come back to you? Only you aren’t sure if it’s a memory or something that you dreamed. This happens to me. A lot.

Like most folks, I dream about my every day life on the regular. I also happen to be highly adept at remembering my dreams. When the dream involves Channing Tatum, this is awesome. When the dream involves counting bottles and cans in a bottomless hand count sink, this is the opposite of awesome. It blows. Super hard.

Due to my keen memory, I have a lot of dreams bouncing around in my head. I obviously know that the fantastical ones are dreams and not actual memories. Some of the more mundane things I have trouble discerning. This came up while I was recently on vacation.

In my mind (an already unreliable place), I had a dream in which I woke up the middle of the night to find my dear boyfriend wiping the bed off with paper towels. I asked what he was doing, as a sleepy person might, and was told that I had drooled so much, it necessitated clean up. Like, several paper towels worth of sponging up. In the middle of the night.

When I woke up in the morning, I had no recollection of my dream. I went about my routine as usual, showering and getting dressed for the day. At one point I looked over at the side table and saw a roll of paper towels. Suddenly my dream came back to me!

I told Boyfriend I had a funny dream that I thought he would get a kick out of and proceeded to tell him all about it. And then he clued me in. That was not a dream. That was an actual event that happened. There was so much drool issuing from my person that he had awoken, essentially drowning in my spit, and felt the need to mop it up. I had really seen him wiping my drool off the bed in the middle of the night.

Needless to say, I was mortified. This is my life. One embarrassing moment at a time.


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