Recap That Noise: Vampire Diaries, 2.05 Kill Or Be Killed

Emerald Coast, Last Year- Mason is chilling in Florida, getting his drink on! He pays for his drinks and heads outside but oh shit, someone is following him. Jimmy pushes him, having found out about Mason and Marla. WTF is Marla? Apparently some skanky chick that Jimmy thinks Mason is banging. While being strangled, Mason tried to explain that he has nothing to do with Marla. He gets a punch to the face, thrown to the ground and kicked in the stomach before finally fighting back. Mason throws Jimmy to the ground, smashing his head. Consider the werewolf curse activated!

This douche looks like he's just asking for trouble.

This douche looks like he’s just asking for trouble.

Present Day- Mason and Tyler are at the Lockwood Mansion where Mason has just finished telling Ty about getting his ass kicked. I mean, triggering the curse. Now Mason must sedate and chain himself every full moon as he wolfs out. All because Jimmy was a drunk asshole with a slutty girlfriend. Awesome. He warns Tyler that even if he kills someone by accident, the curse will come to destroy his life. He asks for the moonstone and Tyler leads him to his father’s safe, which does not contain the stone. What game is Ty playing? He tells Mason that he doesn’t know where the stone is, figuring it would be in the safe.

Elena and Jeremy are in the bathroom at the Gilbert house, discussing Tyler’s possible werewolf lineage. Elena tries to act all big sisterly, telling Jeremy that he can’t help the gang figure out if Ty is a wolf. He kind of promises to stay out of it but I don’t believe him for a second.

Elena opens her closet and finds her creeper boyfriend lurking. He apologizes for scaring her so she makes out with him. If only it were that easy. I can picture it now: “Oh hi Channing Tatum. I’m sorry my stalking you was scary. Now we can make out.”

Elena laments having to pretend to fight with Stefan. He thinks that the fake fight will keep Katherine at bay. Elena makes Stefan promise that they won’t break up for real. He is super cheesy, telling her that when he says he can’t do it anymore (in their fake fight), he will really be saying that he loves her. She jumps on the crazy bandwagon, telling him that when she says whatever it means that she loves him. These two crazy kids.

Sheriff Liz Forbes is moving boxes around at the Forbes house when Caroline arrives. Liz is super pumped to help out at the Historical Society Picnic and spend the day with Caroline. It’s actually quite sweet. Caroline is a bitch, however, asking if Liz is going to pretend to be a mother. Liz takes it with stride, cracking a joke about bringing her gun. I kind of love her. She asks Caroline if she’s okay, seeing as she has been acting different lately. Caroline launches into full asshole mode and tells Liz she shouldn’t press her luck pretending to be mom before stalking off. Screw you Caroline. At least you have a mom.

Straight up cold bitch.

Straight up cold bitch.

Carol Lockwood is giving a speech at Mystic Falls Public Park to kick off the Historical Society Picnic. I want to live in a small town where we have weekly town events. Mystic Falls is like a really deadly Stars Hollow in that way. Stefan joins Mason in unloading boxes from truck, formally introducing himself. He attempts to apologize on Damon’s behalf but Mason isn’t feeling the forgiving spirit. Stefan is worried that someone innocent will get caught in the war between the vamp and the wolf but Mason can’t seem to get over that whole knife in the chest thing. He tries to be super alpha, telling Stefan that Damon better watch his back. Dumb move. Doesn’t he know the Salvatore Brothers stick together? Stefan tells Mason that he is the one who should watch his back seeing as there are two Salvatores and they don’t need the full moon to be at maximum strength. Stefan is basically amazing.

Please make this face always.

Damon approaches Stefan, having seen the exchange between him and Mason. He doesn’t want anyone apologizing to the wolf on his behalf. Stefan, who isn’t as dumb as he looks, thinks that Mason will attempt to stake both boys in retaliation for Damon’s attack. He is awesome, thanking Damon for causing more problems. Brotherly love is so beautiful.

Jeremy is at the Mystic Grill, watching Tyler, who is sitting alone. Aimee Bradley (gross) is playing pool with an unnamed very pretty girl who thinks Jer is “so cute”. While cutting his hair did bump him up higher in the looks department, let’s not overdo it here. Jeremy joins Tyler at his table, failing at his attempt to make small talk. As he goes to leave Ty apologizes for being a dick. He’s just having a sad. The girls join them and Aimee asks where they are going. Didn’t she reject Ty in the last episode? Tyler invites them all to his house to party and get their drink on while his mom is at the picnic.

Back at the picnic, Mason asks to have a word with Liz. He asks to discuss council matters, and she plays dumb for a moment, pretending she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He finally gets her attention by telling her that the Salvatore Bros are vampires. What a douche. She doesn’t believe him, citing the various vamps Damon has killed as well as his membership in the council. He points out that the attacks didn’t begin until they arrived and she counters that they walk in the sun. Mason offers to prove it to her.

Caroline is bitching to Elena about Liz while they paint a new veranda. Elena is far more sympathetic than I would be. Doesn’t Caroline realize she’s complaining about her mother to a girl that no longer has one? She’s being an asshole. For real. Caroline attempts to casually segue her bitchiness into asking how things are between Elena and Stefan. Real smooth.  Elena gives her the made up party line- Stefan is acting distant, thinking Katherine might hurt her. Even though he’s trying to protect her, she feels like he is giving up.

Meanwhile, Damon has joined Liz and begins questioning her regarding her conversation with Mason. Nosy. Liz lies, telling him she was asking for help in cleaning up the woods. Damon offers to help him but Liz stops him. There is a sweet moment where he shows concern for her, noticing that she seems uneasy. She says it’s because of the fight she had with Caroline but it’s really because she doesn’t want her new sexy BFF to be a vamp. Can you really blame her?

He's so beautiful when he's concerned.

He’s so beautiful when he’s concerned.

Elena has moved to painting a wall and making eyes at Stefan. Caroline totally notices and tries to dissuade Elena from going to talk to him. Not good friend material. Elena leaves and Damon joins Caroline. He asks why she is being such a bitch to Liz and I love him infinitely.

Elena and Stefan have their staged fight, arguing over Katherine. Elena doesn’t understand how Stefan can hate Katherine and love her, seeing as they are practically the same person. He makes a comment about not being Damon, which upsets her further. He tells her that he can’t do “this” anymore and she responds with “whatever” before storming off. Damon and Caroline watch the entire interaction.

Aimee and Nameless are dancing around the Lockwood Mansion while Tyler and Jeremy drink. Aimee cozies up to Ty, asking where her drink is. She is annoying as fuck. As they walk to the bar, Aimee refers to Nameless Girl as Sarah and tells him that Sarah likes Jeremy. She apologizes for “slutting it up” with him at the swimming hole, promising she isn’t that kind of girl. They agree to be friends. Awww.

New girlfriend for Jeremy? I hope not, or she'll end up totally dead.

New girlfriend for Jeremy? I hope not, or she’ll end up totally dead.

In the other corner of the room, Sarah takes Jeremy’s sketchbook and starts flipping through it, checking out the drawings. And Jer is a super freak, having drawn weird demonic wolfish creatures. You can cut the hair off the Emo but his soul will still remain black as pitch. Tyler takes the book and thumbs through, noting that he has been doing a little drawing recently. Jer follows him into the office to “look at his drawing”, which is a euphemism for get his ass kicked. Tyler pushes him into the wall, strangling him while asking why he chose to draw wolves. Jeremy admits that he knows what Tyler is. Way to stay out of it.

Damon joins Mason, who is drinking some refreshing lemonade while working in the park. They have a very strange exchange in which they both agree that Stefan is nicer than Damon and niceness is overrated. I don’t get these two. Mason leaves and Stefan arrives, hoping Damon was using the opportunity to bond with Mason. Damon asks why Stefan and Elena are fake fighting, but Stefan asks him to drop it. A little girl gives Damon vervain-laced lemonade that he spits out as Liz looks on. Oh shit.

Caroline and Elena stop working to chat about the Stefan situation. Caroline tries to give her the “it’s for the best” speech but Elena doesn’t buy it. She apologizes for taking her frustration out on Caroline, who she knows is just trying to be a good friend. Laying it on a bit thick, don’t you think? Caroline sees her mom talking on the phone, leaving the park.

Liz is talking to what could only be another police officer, telling him/her to grab a person named Jesse and meet her at the park entrance. She also tells him/her to bring a mystery item. Caroline is pissed that her mom is working when she’s supposed to be spending mother/daughter time. I’d believe it more if Caroline talked to Liz for even five seconds. Liz takes off as Elena approaches, asking Caroline what’s going on.

Meanwhile, Damon is angrily drinking water while threatening to kill Mason. Stefan agrees that they need to take him out as a means of self preservation. Damon sees Mason going into the woods and the brothers leave to take care of business.

Caroline and Elena head into the woods so Care can use her super freaky vampire hearing. She knows something is wrong.

Super hearing to the rescue!

Super hearing to the rescue!

Damon and Stefan confront Mason, ready to attack. He suddenly ducks and the brothers are shot! That is straight bullshit. Caroline hears everything. Liz arrives in the woods with her deputies and shoots the boys full of vervain while thanking Mason.

Back at the Lockwood Mansion, Tyler is interrogating Jeremy about his werewolf knowledge. Jer tells him that Jonathan Gilbert’s journal mentioned the Lockwood curse. He brings up Matt being attacked by a wolf under a full moon just as Mason entered town. Tyler tells him that Mason is a wolf but he isn’t. He explains the way the curse works, the whole killing someone thing. He shows Jeremy the moonstone that is still hidden in his pocket. Excellent hiding place guy.

Liz, Mason and the deputies carry Stefan and Damon down to the Lockwood ruins. It seems that the boys were shot with wooden bullets and could awaken at any moment. Liz thanks Mason for his help and sends him away. I dig when she gets to be a badass.

I am in no way okay with this.

I am in no way okay with this.

Caroline and Elena are searching through the woods when Caroline suddenly stops, smelling blood on a plant. Mason happens through and asks what the girls are doing. Elena questions him regarding Stefan’s whereabouts but he refuses to answer. He is a dick, threatening to tell Liz that Caroline is a vampire. When she tries to attack him, he grabs Elena, using her as a human shield. Scumbag. She rushes him, slamming him into tree before throwing him into the ground, kicking him across the woods. In other words, totally awesome.

Damon awakens and Liz shoots him in the leg, threatening to shoot again if he doesn’t answer her questions. She wants to know how many vamps there are and why he can walk in the sun. He refuses to answer despite being shot multiple times so she turns her gun on Stefan. Damon makes me feel all the feels, telling Liz that she’s his friend.

Caroline and Elena continue their trek through the woods. Care hears her mother telling the deputies to kill Stefan and Damon. She tells Elena, who heads into the ruins to stop them.

As Liz is about to stake and burn the boys (!!), they hear a sound. A deputy goes to check it out and gets hit by Elena was a piece of wood. Suddenly Caroline zooms in, killing one of the deputies and punching the other in the face.

Oh, hey Mom!

Oh, hey Mom!

Damon and Stefan have both awoken and Damon is drinking the blood of one of the deputies. He tries to get Stefan to drink some human blood, angering Elena. Caroline is freaking out, begging Liz not to tell anyone that she is a vamp. Liz asks Damon to kill her, stating that she can’t take it anymore.  Damon is fantastic, telling her that she is his friend. Someone please give Damon ALL the friendship awards.

Jeremy and Tyler are still at the Lockwood Mansion, discussing the supernatural properties of the moonstone. Ty is very smart, telling Jeremy that he hasn’t given Mason the moonstone because he doesn’t trust him. Aimee and Sarah arrive and take the moonstone, playing keep away. What are they, five? Tyler asks for it back politely before chasing them through the house. Sarah, obviously drunk, tells him that she wants Jeremy to come get it. And it makes me throw up a little. Tyler takes the stone from Sarah, causing her to fall off the stairs and hit her head on the floor. Sarah plays dead for a moment before she starts giggling. She accuses Ty of pushing her down the stairs and leaves with Aimee. Good riddance to trash.

Caroline has arrived at the Salvatore Boarding House, carrying luggage. Elena tells her that, according to Damon, it will take up to three days to get all of the vervain out of Liz’s system. Downstairs, Damon and Liz are in the weirdo holding cell. She is making a phone call to work, telling them she will be out sick. Damon confiscates her phone and welcomes her to Chateau Salvatore, where she will be held until the vervain is gone and he can compel her to forget everything.

Caroline, Stefan and Elena listen in while Liz begs Damon to keep Caroline away from her. Now that Care is a vamp, Liz considers her daughter gone. As everyone is exiting the basement, Stefan takes a blood pouch from the fridge. He seems to think that he can drink a sip a day and build up a tolerance to it. Elena is concerned but Stefan can only think about getting stronger and protecting her.

Elena offers to take home Caroline, who is having a major sad. She’s scared that Katherine will be waiting for her, expecting an update on the events of the day. She admits to spying on Elena and Stefan because Katherine threatened Matt. Elena gives her a hug and tells her they should all be scared of Katherine. Not exactly reassuring.

Mason is back at the Lockwood Mansion, leaving a voicemail for Liz. He wants to make sure “everything” went okay. I officially hate Mason. Tyler arrives as he hangs up and announces that he almost killed a girl today. That’s a tad dramatic, don’t you think? He freak out about not wanting any part of the curse and gives Mason the moonstone. Lame.

Elena tucks Caroline into her couch/bed at the Salvatore Boarding House. She has a great moment with Damon where she commends him for the way he handled the situation with Liz. Please be friends you guys. He tells her that Stefan didn’t drink from the blood pouch, but notes that he should.

Elena wants to help Stefan gain control of his blood cravings so she cuts her hand open and has him drink from it. Gross. She considers this a real bonding moment and kisses him while he’s still in vamp face, with blood in him mouth. It makes me die a little inside.

Mason enters a mysterious car in the woods. Who should he be meeting but the horrible Katherine?

FLASHBACK! Florida, One Year Ago- Mason has the yellow werewolf eyes as Katherine arrives. She asks what happened and he tells her about killing Jimmy. She is a SUPER CREEP, smiling at Jimmy’s body while telling Mason everything will be okay.

Present- Mason tries to kiss Katherine but she pushes him away, angry that he ratted Damon and Stefan out to Liz. She tells him to stay away from the boys; she doesn’t want him getting distracted from finding the moonstone. He tells her that he got it and they begin making out.

Um, WTF bro?

Um, WTF bro?

BODY COUNT: 0

NICE TO MEET YOU

Maiara Walsh as Sarah

Maiara Walsh as Sarah

MUSIC

Last.fm_play.png “The Fellowship” by The Smashing Pumpkins. Jimmy confronts Mason about Marla.

Last.fm_play.png “Counting Sleep” by Trent Dabbs. Elena tells Jeremy about the werewolves; Elena and Stefan discuss their fake fighting.

Last.fm_play.png “Superhuman Touch” by Athlete. Carol Lockwood gives a speech at the Historical Society Picnic; Stefan tries to make amends with Mason.

Last.fm_play.png “Sometimes” by The Rifles. Jeremy talks to Tyler at the Mystic Grill; Sarah thinks Jeremy is cute.

Last.fm_play.png “Cool Kids” by The Fast Romantics. Caroline bitches to Elena about Liz; the girls discuss Elena and Stefan’s tension.

Last.fm_play.png “Punching In A Dream” by The Naked And Famous. Elena and Stefan exchange longing looks at the picnic; Stefan and Elena “fight” while Damon and Caroline listen.

Last.fm_play.png “Obsession” by Sky Ferreira. Aimee apologizes to Tyler for her behavior at the swimming hole; Sarah looks at Jeremy’s creepy drawings.

Last.fm_play.png “Steady Love” by Title Tracks. Damon drinks vervain-laced lemonade.

Last.fm_play.png “Yeah Yeah Yeah” by New Politics. Aimee and Sarah play keep away with the moonstone.

Last.fm_play.png “Colors” by The Pass. Sarah pretends to be dead after falling down the stairs.

Last.fm_play.png “I Need To Know” by Kris Allen. Stefan drinks from Elena’s hand.

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