Hey, Watch This!: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

I am one of the biggest fans of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Like, almost embarrassingly so. Unlike most fans, I am an equal opportunity lover. I love both the show and the movie, viewing them as completely separate entities. While the show was a dark, sometimes terrifying (Hello Gentlemen!) masterpiece, the movie is an unintentionally hilarious piece of camp. And I heart it.

buffy poster

PLOT

Buffy is an air-headed cheerleader who learns she is a vampire slayer. She must learn to balance shopping and boys with protecting her town and friends.

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH

The cheer in the opening. This almost made me want to be a cheerleader as a child. You get to do awesome dance routines and wear uniforms? This sounds pretty awesome to me. Bonus points if you get to look as adorable as Buffy does.

opening

Keen fashion sense. The clothes in this movie are the greatest. I dig the vivid colors and the fact that they aren’t afraid of patterns. I especially love Buffy’s daisy dress when she goes shopping with her friends at the beginning of the film. My favorite fashion choice of all? Definitely the yellow jacket. A girl can’t own enough yellow.

to swpeak properly

yellowjacket

You will learn a completely new language. The Valley-speak of Buffy and her friends is really a lost art. “Chill lozenge”? I couldn’t come up with this shit if I tried to.

This is the kind of news I want to see reported on my TV. If someone has been murdered, please describe their neck wound as a hickey. Thanks.

newsreporter

Buffy thinks the biggest threats to the environment are bugs and the ozone layer. She is so adorable. Even cuter? The fact this she looks like this when discussing it:

bugs

The scene where Buffy and Pike are officially introduced. I love that they both have the most ridiculous names ever. “Pike isn’t a name. It’s a fish.”

name1 name2 name3

Buffy thinks Merrick is a creepy old perverted homeless man. I love that she isn’t buying what he says right off the bat. “You’re one of those skanky old men that, like, attacks little girls and stuff, right? Well, forget you!” That would pretty much be my reaction too.

a minute of your time

Buffy’s dreams might be creepier than mine. She goes to sleep on top of a vampire? Also, as a child I was confused if this was a dream or not. And I was obsessed with tying my hair back with a ribbon before I went to bed.

buffy-10

Merrick just nonchalantly throws a knife at Buffy’s head without any warning. And Buffy is a total badass, catching it with a mere blink of the eye and quick reflexes.

knifeatmyhead

Buffy has the greatest life plans. Except the marry Christian Slater thing. I’ve just never been into him. Bonus points for wearing an amazing green polka dot shirt when she shares said plans and refers to Merrick as a scone head.

buffyphilosophy

tumblr_mb6ug9iPpQ1qg8tt4o2_500

Training montage! I believe I’ve spoken before about just how much I love training montages. Especially when they are set to “I Ain’t Gonna Eat Out My Heart Anymore”, which is on my iPod.

screen_image_472354

Gary Murray is the coolest principal. He’s way better than Principal Flutie or Principal Snyder. He dropped acid and felt music floating into him. Awesome.

btvs-gary

“Are you calling me a man?” This is one of my favorite things that has ever been said. I love Pike and everything that he does.

How Funky is Your Chicken? This may be the greatest cheer ever invented. EVER. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have sang this. And done the moves that go along with it.

cheer1 cheer2
cheer3 cheer4
cheer5 cheer6
cheer7 cheer8

The cameos! Not only do we see Ricki Lake as a waitress, but a VERY young Ben Affleck plays an uncredited basketball player. Awesome.

benaffleck

Pike is the damsel in distress. You still don’t see a lot of movies where girls are saving boys from danger. But it totally happens in real life. If vampires attack, I definitely plan on saving my boyfriend.

4846_2

I would have been on every school dance committee if I knew that it would be like this. Sitting around making paper flowers and listening to Hilary Swank throw shade? Fantastic. Bonus for wearing a daisy top with yellow shorts. I would seriously recreate this and wear it on the regular.

gymdecoarting facial

Pike isn’t disappointed, he’s angry. I feel like this is so much more realistic. Also, this is one of my favorite things to randomly yell at people.

notdisappointed

Buffy and Pike dancing at prom is one of my favorite moments in any movie ever. “Little Heaven” plays, one of the top songs on my iPod. Pike is basically the sweetest ever, telling Buffy she isn’t like other girls. I absolutely adore everything about this scene from the bottom of my heart.

Buffy’s prom outfit. I can’t believe that she is supposed to be one of, if not THE, best dressed girls in schools. And she looks like this for the biggest fashion event. It makes me giggle.

promdress

Amilyn’s over the top death scene. I can’t help but laugh as he draws out his death by staking. His pausing to look at Buffy is the best.

amilyndeath

This is the most awesome violin I have ever seen. I don’t know how to play (despite lessons) but I want one. Just to have something that cool looking in my house.

mostawesomeviolin

Pretty much the best ending ever. I have had many a dream where I get to don a leather jacket and ride into the sunset (sunrise?) on the back of a motorcycle driven by Luke Perry. These are my favorite kind of dreams.

bestending

The soundtrack is pretty damn amazing. It is a complete snapshot of music in the 90’s. I particularly enjoy the inclusion of C+C Music Factory. Gonna Make You Sweat is one of the first CDs I ever owned.

soundtrack

  1. C+C Music Factory featuring Deborah Cooper and Q-Unique – “Keep It Comin’ (Dance Till You Can’t Dance No More)”
  2. Dream Warriors – “Man Smart, Woman Smarter”
  3. Matthew Sweet – “Silent City”
  4. Susanna Hoffs – “We Close Our Eyes” (originally by Oingo Boingo)
  5. Toad the Wet Sprocket – “Little Heaven”
  6. diVINYLS – “I Ain’t Gonna Eat Out My Heart Anymore”
  7. Ozzy Osbourne – “Party with the Animals”
  8. The Cult – “Zap City”
  9. Mary’s Danish – “I Fought the Law”
  10. Rob Halford and Pantera – “Light Comes Out of Black”

WHERE HAVE I SEEN YOU BEFORE?

Kristy Swanson as Buffy

Kristy Swanson as Buffy

  • Simone in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  • Vanessa in Big Daddy
Donald Sutherland as Merrick

Donald Sutherland as Merrick

  • Hawkeye Pierce in MASH
  • Dave Jennings in Animal House
Paul Reubens as Amilyn

Paul Reubens as Amilyn

  • Pee Wee Herman in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure
  • Andrew Lansing on Murphy Brown
Rutger Hauer as Lothos

Rutger Hauer as Lothos

  • Roy Batty in Blade Runner
  • John Ryder in The Hitcher
Luke Perry as Pike

Luke Perry as Pike

  • Kenny on Another World
  • Dylan McKay on Beverly Hills, 90210
David Arquette as Benny

David Arquette as Benny

  • Keith ‘Two-Bit’ Matthews on The Outsiders
  • Tod Hawks on Parenthood
Hilary Swank as Kimberly

Hilary Swank as Kimberly

  • Danielle on Camp Wilder
  • Julie Pierce in The Next Karate Kid
Randall Batinkoff as Jeffrey

Randall Batinkoff as Jeffrey

  • Stan in For Keeps
  • Rip van Kelt in School Ties
Andrew Lowery as Andy

Andrew Lowery as Andy

  • ‘Mack’ McGivern in School Ties
  • Johnny Dingle in My Boyfriend’s Back
Sasha Jenson as Grueller

Sasha Jenson as Grueller

  • Brady in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
  • Don Dawson in Dazed and Confused
Advertisements

2 comments

  1. […] more often than the others- Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But I’ve written a post about that before so I’ll write about another fave campy movie, the delightful Psycho Beach […]

  2. […] much I dig the campy delight that is the Buffy movie. If you haven’t read my post about it, go forth and enjoy. Lots of GIFs and fun […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: