Isobel and Ric are at the Mystic Grill bar. She tries to act like they are just old friend catching up, telling him that he looks good and asking how he likes teaching history. Ric isn’t playing her games; he wants to know where she’s been. She says that he was just supposed to mourn her and move on. Easier said than done chick. She writes something on a napkin and asks him to give it to Elena and arrange a meeting between them. Ric is awesome, calling her a selfish bitch and taking off.
Ric heads toward his car when Isobel appears behind him. She strangles him and pushes him against the car, demanding that he arrange a meeting between her and Elena, or she will start killing all of his students. She throws him and her napkin note to the ground and leaves.
At the Gilbert house, Elena is on the phone with Damon discussing the Founder’s Day Parade. She is supposed to help build the Miss Mystic float or risk receiving the wrath of Caroline. She asks how Stefan is doing and Damon tells her he is terrible. He is back to being straight-laced and boring. Damon asks if John has mentioned the trip he and Ric made to Grove Hill. She hasn’t heard anything from John because she has been avoiding him. They hang up and it turns out Stefan was home the entire time. Damon smiles and tells him that Elena called.
In the Mystic Falls HS cafeteria, Ric is giving his students specs for the History department float. They are doing the Battle of Willow Creek. He nominated Tyler to be in charge of design. Woo woo for Ty. He asks if Matt will help him, but Matt is still pissed about him making out with his mom. Elena and Stefan show up to decorate and Ric asks to speak with them. Meanwhile, Caroline is showing Bonnie her idea for the Miss Mystic float- Gone with the Wind. Fantastic. She asks why Bonnie and Elena are fighting and has a sad when Bonnie won’t tell her. Damon arrives for the meeting in Ric’s classroom, where Ric tells them that he saw Isobel.
John meets Isobel at her house where he sees a random couple with bite marks all over them dancing. The female is a jazz singer named Cherie and the male is an unnamed gay cowboy. These are Isobel’s minions. She’s teaching them French. How quaint. John disapproves of her using people as dolls. I have to agree with John, not cool. They discuss the Gilbert device and how John has epically failed to retrieve it. He gets sassy about Isobel only making matters worse and gets a slap in the face for it. Excellent.
Back in Ric’s classroom the gang is discussing Isobel. Damon is pissed that Ric didn’t ask her any relevant questions (i.e. is she working with John, what the device is, did she know the tomb vamps, etc.). Damon asks Elena what Isobel wrote in the note she received. He gets very protective when she says that Isobel wants to meet her. Stefan is confused by this because he is the biggest schmuck in the world. It’s obviously that they have secret feelings for each other. Ric tells them that Isobel threatened to go on a killing spree if Elena didn’t show. Elena tells them she wants to meet her mother.
Elena is sitting alone at the Mystic Grill while Stefan keeps an eye on her from the pool table. It looks like Elena is whispering to herself, but she is taking advantage of Stefan’s super hearing to thank him for being there. It’s very sweet. They exchange love and make eyes at each other until they are interrupted by Isobel. She comments on Elena looking just like Katherine. It would appear that they do know each other. Isobel has her very own ugly day-walking jewelry, a necklace. Elena asks about her father but Isobel says he was a waste of teenage space. This chick has serious issues. She acts like she doesn’t care about anyone or anything because she is a vampire but Elena knows that’s not the case. She tries to be shocking, asking Elena if she is “enjoying” both of the Salvatore boys, like Katherine did. Stefan is not pleased to overhear this question.
Damon and Ric are waiting outside of the Grill. Damon threatens to kill Isobel and it ruffles Ric’s feathers. He is having a hard time thinking of her as anyone other than his wife despite her obvious lunacy. Damon tells Ric that vampires have a humanity switch that Isobel switched off. He is hilarious, describing Stefan’s want to feel like a human.
Inside the Grill, Elena asks why Isobel wanted to meet her. She tells her that she wants the Gilbert device. Elena asks how she knows John. She knew him as a teenager; he was the one that told her about vampires. Elena tells her that she doesn’t have the device and tries to leave but Isobel stops her. She knows Damon has the device and wants Elena to get it from him. With that Isobel takes off and Elena is left to feel all the feels. There is an awkward moment where Stefan and Bonnie both want to comfort her but Bonnie refuses to be around Stefan so she bolts.
Jeremy tries to call Anna while at the Gilbert house. He leaves a voicemail and tells Jenna that she isn’t returning his calls. John waltzes in and asks Jeremy how Anna has been. When Jeremy gets suspicious, John says everyone else in the house hates him (so true) and offers an ear to Jeremy should he ever want to talk. Jenna is awesome, showing her disdain for John.
Damon is shirtless, playing strip poker with Cherie at Isobel’s house. He is so sexy, my TV almost melts. Just as he is about to remove his pants, Isobel arrives to ruin my life. She sends Cherie away as Damon starts getting dressed. She asks him how he found her before remembering that he taught her all she knows about seeking out expensive bank-owned foreclosures. Smart cookie. She asks if he brought the Gilbert device with him. He ignores her question and asks how she knows John. She parrots what she told Elena- they were young and he was in love with her. She tells him that they are on the same side; Katherine is the one who wants John to have the device. Isobel tries to play cute, kissing Damon (and making me vomit). He gets her to let down her guard and slams her to the floor. He tells her to leave Elena alone or he will rip her to bits. Also, if Katherine wants something from him, she can ask in person. Damon is my hero.
There is a knock on the door at the Gilbert house. Elena opens it to find Bonnie, who is there to apologize for walking away from her at the Grill. Elena tells her that she met her birth mother and starts bawling again. All Bonnie can say is “Oh”. She sucks big time.
Matt is building the History department float at MFHS when Tyler arrives. He tries to find out how Matt is doing, seeing as he is living on his own and all. Matt is less than pleased to have Tyler ask questions about his mother and calls him a dick. Tyler knows he screwed up and has a little sad about Matt’s inability to forgive him.
Bonnie is leafing through Emily’s grimoire inside of a classroom. Elena meets her to look at a picture of the vampire compass. According to the book, Jonathan Gilbert didn’t invent anything. Emily cast spells on the compass and Gilbert device to make them work. Bonnie shows Elena a page containing the Gilbert device. She tells her that Emily may have been loyal to Katherine, but she still wanted to protect the innocent townspeople. Which is why the Gilbert device is actually a weapon against vampires!
Jeremy finds Elena outside of the high school where float preparation is going down. He asks if she knows anything about where Anna has been and tells her that they are more than friends. Gross. When Elena says that she hasn’t talked to Anna, he asks if she is lying. He tells her that he knows she has been lying about everything and that he knows all about vampires. He then runs away before she can explain anything. Super mature Jer.
Elena turns around and Isobel is standing right behind her like a super creep. She shows off how much she has learned about Elena’s life by breaking down all the players: Bonnie the witch, sad brother Jeremy, obnoxious Caroline, and Matt the ex. She then has Frank (the cowboy from earlier) jump on the trailer above Matt, which causes it an axle to break and Matt’s arm to be crushed. I officially want to snap her in half. Elena tries to run toward him but Isobel grabs her. Tyler, Stefan and some other guys rush over and remove the trailer while Caroline calls an ambulance. Isobel threatens to kill Jeremy if Elena doesn’t get her the device and vanishes with him. Tyler offers to drive Matt to the hospital. It is very sweet and I kind of love Tyler for a minute.
John arrives at Isobel’s house to find her bags packed. She tells him that she will be getting the Gilbert device soon and shows him to a room where Jeremy is being guarded by Cherie and Frank. John is pissed that she has kidnapped his nephew and demands that she let him go. Isobel has her minions beat John in front of Jeremy and she removes his huge, ugly ring.
Bonnie, Stefan and Elena meet in Ric’s classroom to discuss the device. Stefan tells them that it will be hard to get it from Damon so Elena say that she will ask him.
At the Salvatore Boarding House, Elena asks Damon for the device. He refuses it give it to her. She tells him that she has a plan for Bonnie to take the power away from it with magic. Damon would rather go after Jeremy himself than hand it over. Stefan reminds him that Isobel is a vampire and would snap Jeremy’s neck as soon as he walked through the door. Damon questions whether Bonnie can even do the spell. She tells him that she has been practicing her magic and floats a book from the shelf into Damon’s hand. I love that Damon is not the least bit impressed. Elena tells Damon that he can trust her and he gives her the device, which earns a very serious look from Stefan.
Back at Isobel’s house, Jeremy hands a towel to the still bleeding John. He asks what Isobel is after. John tells him that their ancestor built a device that is harmful to vampires. He also tells him that there are vampires out in the world who wants revenge on the town. Jeremy tries to tell him that there are good vampires, but John shuts him down. He tells him that Grayson didn’t think that way, and as his son that should mean something.
Bonnie is still at the Salvatore Boarding House, doing a spell on the Gilbert device. There are some flames in the fireplace and the device floats for a few seconds. She tells the trio that she is done and gives the device to Elena. That was anticlimactic.
Elena and Isobel meet in town square. Isobel wants the device but Elena won’t hand it over until she has Jeremy. Isobel threatens her with Frank and Cherie, but Elena returns the threat with Damon and Stefan. Good to know they each brought back up. Isobel tells her to call home, where Jeremy answers. He tells her that he is fine and that John hit his head, which Jenna find hilarious. Elena doesn’t think that Isobel ever intended to hurt Jeremy but Isobel assures her that she doesn’t have any redeeming qualities.
Elena asks how she knew that Damon would give her the device and Isobel tells her that Damon is in love with her. This earns some serious looks between the Salvatore boys. Elena gives the device to Isobel and thanks her for being such a huge disappointment. Isobel says her goodbyes and warns her about getting wrapped in both Salvatores. There is an awkward moment where Elena and Stefan hug while Damon looks on. Elena, then Stefan make eye contact and Damon walks away while Stefan looks after him. I recommend watching it to get the full effect. The awkwardness starts at 2:30 in the video below.
At the Gilbert house, Jeremy is leaving another desperate voicemail for Anna. Pathetic. Elena wants to talk to him but he tells her that her journal already covered everything- including when Damon compelled him to forget what happened to Vicki. Elena tries to explain that she just wanted to take his pain away. Jeremy doesn’t want to hear anything that she has to say and tells her to get out, closing the door in her face.
Isobel is waiting for Ric in an empty school hallway. He is confused by her actions; she keeps saying she doesn’t care but seeking him out. She tells him that she wanted to say goodbye and he has a great line about how she didn’t bother to the last time so why now? Isobel questions what he thought would happened when he found her. He expected her to be the woman he loved, who gave him a giant hideous ring to keep him safe. He takes off the ring and drops his vervain, demanding she kill or compel him. She tells him that she loved him and it hurts that she gave him up. Then she compels him to forget and leaves, but not before putting his ring back on. I’m so happy this crazy roller-coaster of a chick is gone.
Anna finally reaches out to Jeremy, appearing in his bedroom. She cries, telling him that her mother is dead. She says that she has no where else to go and they hug it out.
Damon and Stefan have a VERY SERIOUS discussion at the Salvatore Boarding House. Stefan is upset about what Isobel said. You know, the whole Damon being in love with Elena thing. He is concerned that their developing friendship will hurt Elena. Damon tells him that Elena is his only friend. It is quite touching. Stefan threatens him, saying that history will not be repeating itself. I can’t even convey the seriousness with which he says this. Damon is happy to only be her friend, as it means Stefan will have to be the one to tell her the truth about John- he’s her birth father. Stefan asks what proof Damon has. Even though he can’t give any, the chain of events does seem to add up. Boo hiss.
At the Gilbert house, John receives a phone call from Isobel. His ugly ring has been left in an envelope on the doorstep. She tells him that Katherine wants all the tomb vampires dead, and oh hey, she would like him to kill Stefan and Damon too. John tells her that was always the plan, and Isobel says they owe it to their daughter. Looks like we have Stefan’s proof.
Bonnie and Caroline are talking at the Grill. Bonnie tells Caroline that she did a bad thing. She lied to Elena, pretending to do something that she didn’t really do. Uh oh…
BODY COUNT: 0
ALARIC: “I was a little too distracted by my dead vampire wife to ask any questions.”
DAMON: “I mean, Stefan’s different. He wants the whole human experience. He wants to feel every episode of How I Met Your Mother…”
DAMON: “Katherine wants something from me? You tell that little bitch to come get it herself.”
DAMON: “I like being a living dead person.”
“Giving Up the Gun” by Vampire Weekend. Ric gives students the specs for the History float; Caroline asks Bonnie about her fight with Elena.
“All the Same to Me” by Anya Marina. John visits Isobel at her house and meets Frank and Cherie.
“Our War” by Neon Trees. Elena waits for Isobel at the Mystic Grill.
“Sing” by Sounds Under Radio. Isobel and Elena meet at the Mystic Grill.
“Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by Cage the Elephant. Isobel runs into Damon at her house.
“We Share the Same Skies” by The Cribs. Tyler tries to talk to Matt at the float.
“Laredo” by Band of Horses. Jeremy asks Elena if she knows anything about Anna.