Have you ever been listening to the radio when suddenly a song comes on that makes you want to bore a drill through your ear drum so that you never have to hear it again? This week I’ll be focusing on those songs and trying to pinpoint what drives me crazy.
If there is no description detailing what about the song has driven me to madness, well that just means that I couldn’t come up with anything better than “it makes my ears bleed”.
Here is the first of three posts about the worst songs in the world (well, my world at least):
This song is insanely annoying and makes me want to puncture my eardrums. Every time they sing the phrase “I want candy” (which is at least nine times in less than three minutes), I swear an angel falls. The female vocal that does a sort of sing/scream of the word “Baby” in the middle is also horrible.
The lyrics to this song are atrocious. If he loves someone, a man should not have to “Turn his back on his best friend”, “Sleep out in the rain”, nor should she be able to bring him misery in his soul. That doesn’t sound like a love story.
I’ve written before about how much I love the Now and Then soundtrack. Everything except for this stinker is pretty much perfect. The thing that drives me crazy about this song is the lack of assertiveness. I get that females weren’t as empowered in 1970 as they are now, but this is infuriating to listen to. If you want to sleep with your husband during your honeymoon, go knock on his door. Plus, there are only three verses while the chorus is sung five times. It’s excessive and it drives me mental.
I love the game Rock Band. I can play some plastic drums like nobody’s business. And by that I mean I can play songs on hard without totally failing out. “Tangled Up in Blue” is the song I have nightmares about. It feels as though it drags on for a million years, and I am exhausted from using the foot pedal. So thanks Bob Dylan for destroying my Rock Band dreams.
Horrible, horribleness. The members of this band cannot sing. They sound nasally and it makes me want to shoot something. Again with the repetitiveness, this time of the line, “I know what boys like”. I’m pretty sure you don’t or you never would have written this song.
Too much girl power. Too much denial of reality: “We are strong, no one can tell us we’re wrong”. Want to bet?
This song is too upbeat. I feel like they are trying to beat me over the head with their sunshine and cheerfulness. Listening to this song is essentially being assaulted.
I hate the chorus of this song. “It’s strong and it’s sudden and it’s cruel sometimes”. That is the worst description of love. I don’t care if it’s accurate, it sucks. If I wanted accuracy in my songs, I would listen to something country where they talk about taking a ride in the pick up truck with the dog.
I’m not really a fan of Cyndi Lauper in general, but this song is especially hard for me to make it through. Every time she sings the words “Like a rainbow” I lose my shit. How the hell did a song end up in heavy rotation that references rainbows? I can’t even.
Overly sentimental. I actually feel uncomfortable when this song comes on. It’s easy to live without someone. You keep breathing, eating, drinking water and sleeping.
Again with the sentimentality. Do you remember when Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves came out and this song was EVERYWHERE? I heard it enough to last the rest of my life. And I was only five.
I generally like U2 which is why this one makes me sad. There’s something about it that rubs me wrong, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
I have hated this song from the moment I heard it. It is so schmaltzy that it makes my skin crawl. Though it did sound awesome when I played it on my recorder, even that isn’t enough to redeem it.
If I have to see one more commercial of abused animals while this plays in the background, I will hurl someone off of a building. Possibly myself. I can’t handle watching this, for real. Nothing ruins my night more than the opening chords to this song.
Damn harmonica. Also, I’m not sure if what he’s doing is singing or yelling, but I don’t like it one bit.