Make It Stop!: Songs I Never Want to Hear Again 1964-1995

Have you ever been listening to the radio when suddenly a song comes on that makes you want to bore a drill through your ear drum so that you never have to hear it again? This week I’ll be focusing on those songs and trying to pinpoint what drives me crazy.

If there is no description detailing what about the song has driven me to madness, well that just means that I couldn’t come up with anything better than “it makes my ears bleed”.

Here is the first of three posts about the worst songs in the world (well, my world at least):

House of the Rising Sun - Retrospective “House of the Rising Sun” / The Animals (1964)

I Want Candy - I Want Candy: The Best of the Strangeloves “I Want Candy” / The Strangeloves (1965)

This song is insanely annoying and makes me want to puncture my eardrums. Every time they sing the phrase “I want candy” (which is at least nine times in less than three minutes), I swear an angel falls. The female vocal that does a sort of sing/scream of the word “Baby” in the middle is also horrible.

When a Man Loves a Woman - When a Man Loves a Woman “When A Man Loves a Woman” / Percy Sledge (1966)

The lyrics to this song are atrocious. If he loves someone, a man should not have to “Turn his back on his best friend”, “Sleep out in the rain”, nor should she be able to bring him misery in his soul. That doesn’t sound like a love story.

Band of Gold - Band of Gold “Band of Gold” / Freda Payne (1970)

I’ve written before about how much I love the Now and Then soundtrack. Everything except for this stinker is pretty much perfect. The thing that drives me crazy about this song is the lack of assertiveness. I get that females weren’t as empowered in 1970 as they are now, but this is infuriating to listen to. If you want to sleep with your husband during your honeymoon, go knock on his door. Plus, there are only three verses while the chorus is sung five times. It’s excessive and it drives me mental.

Knockin' On Heaven's Door - The Essential Bob Dylan “Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door” / Bob Dylan (1973)

Tangled Up In Blue - Blood On the Tracks “Tangled Up in Blue” / Bob Dylan (1975)

I love the game Rock Band. I can play some plastic drums like nobody’s business. And by that I mean I can play songs on hard without totally failing out. “Tangled Up in Blue” is the song I have nightmares about. It feels as though it drags on for a million years, and I am exhausted from using the foot pedal. So thanks Bob Dylan for destroying my Rock Band dreams.

That's the Way (I Like It) - KC & the Sunshine Band... and More “That’s the Way (I Like It)” / KC and the Sunshine Band (1975)

Baby I Love Your Way - Peter Frampton “Baby, I Love Your Way” / Peter Frampton (1975)

We've Got Tonight - Ultimate Hits: Rock and Roll Never Forgets “We’ve Got Tonight” / Bob Seger (1978)

I Know What Boys Like - Wasn't Tomorrow Wonderful? “I Know What Boys Like” / The Waitresses (1980)

Horrible, horribleness. The members of this band cannot sing. They sound nasally and it makes me want to shoot something. Again with the repetitiveness, this time of the line, “I know what boys like”. I’m pretty sure you don’t or you never would have written this song.

Love Is a Battlefield - Best Shots “Love is a Battlefield” / Pat Benatar (1983)

Too much girl power. Too much denial of reality: “We are strong, no one can tell us we’re wrong”. Want to bet?

Flashdance...What A Feeling - Flashdance..What A Feeling - Single “Flashdance…What a Feeling” / Irene Cara (1983)

Holding Out for a Hero - Secret Dreams and Forbidden Fire “Holding Out for a Hero” / Bonnie Tyler (1984)

Walking On Sunshine - Anthology “Walking on Sunshine” / Katrina and the Waves (1985)

This song is too upbeat. I feel like they are trying to beat me over the head with their sunshine and cheerfulness. Listening to this song is essentially being assaulted.

The Power of Love - Huey Lewis & The News: Greatest Hits “The Power of Love” / Huey Lewis and the News (1985)

I hate the chorus of this song. “It’s strong and it’s sudden and it’s cruel sometimes”. That is the worst description of love. I don’t care if it’s accurate, it sucks. If I wanted accuracy in my songs, I would listen to something country where they talk about taking a ride in the pick up truck with the dog.

True Colors - True Colors “True Colors” / Cyndi Lauper (1986)

I’m not really a fan of Cyndi Lauper in general, but this song is especially hard for me to make it through. Every time she sings the words “Like a rainbow” I lose my shit. How the hell did a song end up in heavy rotation that references rainbows? I can’t even.

Take My Breath Away - Count Three & Pray “Take My Breath Away” / Berlin (1986)

How Am I Supposed to Live Without You - Soul Provider “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You” / Michael Bolton (1989)

Overly sentimental. I actually feel uncomfortable when this song comes on. It’s easy to live without someone. You keep breathing, eating, drinking water and sleeping.

(Everything I Do) I Do It for You - The Best of Me “(Everything I Do) I Do It for You” / Bryan Adams (1991)

Again with the sentimentality. Do you remember when Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves came out and this song was EVERYWHERE? I heard it enough to last the rest of my life. And I was only five.

One - One - EP “One” / U2 (1992)

I generally like U2 which is why this one makes me sad. There’s something about it that rubs me wrong, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

I'll Stand By You - Last of the Independents “I’ll Stand By You” / The Pretenders (1994)

Can You Feel the Love Tonight - The Lion King (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” / Elton John (1994)

I have hated this song from the moment I heard it. It is so schmaltzy that it makes my skin crawl. Though it did sound awesome when I played it on my recorder, even that isn’t enough to redeem it.

I Will Remember You - Closer - The Best of Sarah McLachlan (Deluxe Version) “I Will Remember You” / Sarah McLachlan (1995)

If I have to see one more commercial of abused animals while this plays in the background, I will hurl someone off of a building. Possibly myself. I can’t handle watching this, for real. Nothing ruins my night more than the opening chords to this song.

Run-Around - Four “Run-Around” / Blues Traveler (1995)

Damn harmonica. Also, I’m not sure if what he’s doing is singing or yelling, but I don’t like it one bit.

Only Wanna Be With You - Cracked Rear View “Only Wanna Be With You” / Hootie and the Blowfish (1995)

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3 comments

  1. Bwahaha!!! You are too funny. I only disagree with a couple, but I’m certain you guess which. 🙂

  2. Anything overly sentimental?

  3. ajbrown42 · · Reply

    Love this! hahahahaha

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