It’s storming outside while Elena sleeps. This is almost as good as the foggy opening in “Pilot”. The wind from the storm blows Elena’s window open, waking her. While she closes the window, Anna is watching the storm from Jeremy’s room. He is practically begging her to tell him all there is to be about a vampire. Shouldn’t he have asked these questions BEFORE he decided that he wants to be turned? She asks why he wants to be turned but Elena interrupts before he can answer. Anna vanishes before Elena sees her, which is probably a good idea seeing as she tried to kill her and all. Elena asks Jeremy to help her shut all the windows.
At the super creepy house in the woods (aka Mrs. Gibbons’s house), Pearl and Frederick are discussing making a run for some fresh blood. She is still pissed about Frederick and Bethanne sneaking out of the house and attempting to attack the Salvatore brothers. Turns out the now deceased Bethanne was Frederick’s girlfriend. I almost have a sad about it until I remember that he is a total douche. Pearl plans to go into town to figure out who is under the influence of vervain. Frederick wants to go all psycho killer on the members of the founding families, but Pearl just wants to hold hands and sing kumbaya.
Meanwhile, at the Salvatore Boarding House, Stefan and Elena are watching Damon board up the window that was smashed when Frederick burst through it. Um, shouldn’t Stefan be helping? It’s his home too. Damon wants to go to the creepy house and “annihilate” Frederick. Stefan reminds him of the other tomb vamps there and Elena tries to shame him for working with Pearl. He tells them that she offered to help him find Katherine and Elena’s response is best described as snarky (Damon’s word choice). Elena puts on a holier than thou attitude, which she thinks is deserved since Damon killed her birth mother and all. Damon leaves the room and Stefan reassures Elena that together the Salvatore brothers can handle anything! Even a house full of pissed off tomb vampires.
Jeremy and Anna meet at the Mystic Grill so he can continue to beg her to turn him. Jeremy is pretty stupid, asking if her mother knows that she is a vamp. How does he think she could keep that a secret? While they argue over how close she is to changing her mind about turning him, Anna notices the bracelet that Elena gave Jeremy and asks to see it so she can check for vervain. She asks him if Elena knows they are hanging out and when he replies with a negative, she asks him to keep their relationship a secret. Jeremy tries to give her his second hand bracelet (eww) and tells her that he likes her. She attempts to brush it off, saying he just likes her because she can turn him, but he admits he really likes her. Because Anna can’t wear vervain, she gives him the bracelet back saying it looks better on him. Nice cover.
On the other side of the Grill, Matt is telling Caroline about how he yelled at Kelly the night before. He’s worried that if he parents his mom too much, she’ll take off and leave him all alone, just like Vicki did. Poor kid. He has serious abandonment issues and they weren’t conjured out of nowhere. Caroline tells him that he can’t control his wild family members (which is really rich coming from a control freak), and thinks they may one day surprise him by acting like responsible members of society. Unlikely. She takes off to go to her dad’s boyfriend’s daughter’s birthday despite the serious storm conditions. Matt is extra adorable, making sure she knows to drive safely and to call him when she arrives.
At the Salvatore Boarding House, Stefan is preparing to go off hunting while Damon repairs a clock. It’s nice to see Damon in an older brother role, fixing all the broken things in the house. He offers Stefan some human blood from the fridge but gets rejected as Stefan heads into the woods to hunt down some squirrels. Big mistake. He is soon surrounded by the other tomb vampires and non-fatally staked by Frederick.
Elena is at the Gilbert House ignoring Damon’s phone calls when there is a knock at the door. Damon has appeared in person to look for Stefan. He’s concerned that he hasn’t returned from his hunting jaunt and his phone is going straight to voicemail. When Elena can’t reach him either, she joins in panicking.
Damon knocks on the door of the creepy house in the woods, demanding that Pearl let him inside. Frederick opens the door and tells him that Pearl isn’t home, and makes snarky remarks about the cloudy sky. Apparently you don’t need a daylight ring to go out if it is overcast. Good to know. Two vampires (one of them named Billy) drag Stefan into the hall so Damon can see him. Damon tries to charge into the house but he hasn’t been invited in. Frederick calls Mrs. Gibbons over and compels her to never invite Damon to enter. He then launches into a diatribe about how he and the others were locked in the tomb because Katherine was boning the Salvatores, and it was painful, and blah blah blah. I have no sympathy for this dick. He makes Billy stab Stefan before shutting the door.
Elena has been sitting in Damon’s car, parked in the woods surrounding the creepy house. She wants to go into the house seeing as she doesn’t have to be invited. Damon forbids her because he is worried about her safety. How sweet. They are both concerned about getting Stefan out of the house but Damon hasn’t quite figured out how to do it.
Inside the creepy house Stefan is being tied up with ropes that have been soaked in vervain. It is disgusting. Frederick is a complete sadist and uses an eye dropper to put vervain in Stefan’s eye. Harper enters while this is going on and tells Frederick what he’s doing goes against what Pearl wants. No shit Sherlock. Frederick doesn’t care what Pearl wants; he is lusting after revenge. He has some of the others tie Harper up and stake him down.
Alaric is walking through the empty halls of Mystic Falls High School because he has no life. Damon and Elena arrive to ask for his super vampire slayer help in rescuing Stefan. At first he says no way on account of Damon killing him. Damon reminds him that he was acting in self defense when he killed Ric and the magic ring from Isobel brought him back to life. No harm, no foul. When this doesn’t convince him, Damon tells him that Pearl can lead him to Isobel. Suddenly Ric starts singing a different tune.
Jeremy is still at the Mystic Grill, trying to convince Anna to turn him. This is getting old really quick. He gives her a sob story about how he wakes up every day and feels like something is missing. He wants to be turned because he doesn’t have anything else. Except for his Aunt Jenna and Elena. What a douche. Anna clues him in to the four reasons new vamps are created: 1) slavery, 2) revenge, 3) boredom and 4) love. Jeremy doesn’t fit into any of these categories. Anna ditches Jeremy when Pearl shows up, telling her he’s just a friend (someone cue Biz Markie).
Mayor Lockwood and Tyler enter the Grill as Pearl and Anna are attempting to exit. Mayor Lockwood tries to warn Pearl of the dangerous driving conditions outside but she ignores him until the waitress greets him by name. Upon hearing he is a Lockwood, she suddenly become very concerned for her safety and finagles a lunch invite. Kudos to Tyler for calling his dad out on hitting on a woman that is not his mother right in front of him. He ditches them to go play pool.
Back in Ric’s classroom he is assembling all of his best vampire hunting gear, including tranq darts filled with vervain. He’d make Buffy proud. Elena wants to break into the house with them, but both men are very much against it. Her and Damon fight back and forth about how she’d just be a distraction and another person to protect. They are at a stalemate on the subject when Ric tells them to get going.
Caroline calls Matt from her car to let him know that the main road was washed out and now she’s on a back path through the woods. He reminds her that she shouldn’t talk on her cell and drive, and suggests that she turn around and come back the way she came from. After they hang up, her car gets stuck in the mud and she loses all cell reception. Typical.
Ric knocks on the front door of the creepy house in the woods and asks Frederick if he can use the phone on account of his car being broken down. Super obvious cover story. Frederick tells Billy to show Ric to the phone which is really code for try to stake him. Billy is unsuccessful, instead getting staked by Ric. How do you like them apples Billy? Ric turns on a bunch of noisy kitchen appliances to mask the sound of him telling Mrs. Gibbons to let Damon in. She refuses, so, after verifying that she has no living family, Damon snaps her neck and waltzes right in. Ric and Damon have a brief debate about whether it was right to kill an innocent woman that ends with Damon telling Ric to hide the body.
Meanwhile, Elena is chilling in Damon’s car. She pulls out a syringe full of vervain and stares at it. I’m not sure what she thinks she’s doing. Suddenly a tree branch falls onto the windshield.
Mayor Lockwood and Pearl are at the Grill having the most boring lunch ever, discussing property. He has a lot and she wants some. Snoozeville. At the pool table, Tyler points out his father’s gross flirting to Matt. Jeremy approaches Anna, who is throwing darts. She tries to shoo him away via text before her mother notices but Pearl is an observant one! She asks Mayor Lockwood who the disgusting greasy thing staring at her daughter is and he tells her that’s Jeremy Gilbert. Uh oh.
Back at the creepy house in the woods, Frederick sends another vampire to find Billy. As he enters the kitchen and notices that something is amiss, he is staked by Damon. RIP vampire who I learned is named Jacob on IMDb.
Ric has run back to Damon’s car to retrieve his bag of goodies when he notices that Elena isn’t there.
Elena sneaks across the porch and down to the outside cellar door while Frederick looks for Billy and Jacob. She is about to try to vervain a vampire guarding the inner door when Damon arrives to save the day! He is less than impressed with her inability to do what she is told.
Caroline’s car is still stuck in the mud. She gets out of the car to try and find a cell signal but manages to slip and fall down the bank of the river. She grabs onto what she thinks is a tree branch, and finds herself face to face with the corpse of vampire Vicki. Intense freaking out follows.
Back at the Mystic Grill, Pearl is throwing Anna shade about hanging out with Jeremy Gilbert. She tries to forbid them from seeing each other, but Anna throws her independence in her mother’s face. Pearl warns that he will turn on her when he discovers her true nature so Anna tells her that he already knows. And gets slapped in the face. Not the best display of parenting skills. Because Anna is still largely a child, she retaliates by texting Jeremy that she’ll turn him.
Stefan and Harper are still tied up in the cellar of the creepy house in the woods. Stefan thanks Harper for trying to save him. Damon and Elena arrive and remove the ropes from Stefan and the stakes from Harper. Upstairs, Frederick is suspicious and sends the rest of vampires to fan out around the house. Damon leaves the cellar to distract the vamps, staking one in front of Frederick, while Elena drags Stefan to the car. No surprise, Elena trips while carrying a man almost twice her weight and cuts her hand open.
Frederick is walking around the house, and finds a staked male vampire. Damon catches him off guard and a fight ensues. Damon has Frederick on the floor, pounding his face in, when two vamps come from behind and yank him off. Frederick leaves them to fight his battle. Lame. Just as one of the vamps gets in position to attack Damon from behind, Ric shoots him with a vervain dart. Totally awesome.
Elena and Stefan have managed to make it to the car. She dumps him into his seat and tries to start the engine but the ignition has been removed! Suddenly Frederick busts through the window (his favorite way of starting fights) and pulls Stefan out of the car, beating on him all the way. He stabs Stefan with a branch, claiming his attack is for Bethanne. Elena sticks Frederick with the vervain syringe just before he stakes Stefan again.
Inside the house, Ric and Damon are still fighting the other tomb vamps. They realize Frederick has fled the house and try to leave but find themselves being surrounded with only one dart left. The suspense is killing me.
Kelly is making some sort of casserole for dinner at the Donovan house. Matt teases her about her lack of culinary skills and suggests they order a pizza. Kelly tells him she’s really going to try this time, like an actual mom. Their mother-son moment is interrupted by the doorbell. Matt opens the door to find Caroline and Sheriff Forbes, who asks to speak to his mom.
Mayor Lockwood gets a phone call while Tyler is eating with a random girl at the Grill. He tells Tyler that Vicki has been found. Tyler is shocked to hear that she is dead, as is Jeremy, who happens to be passing by. They leave to go to the Donovan house.
Elena is still in the woods, trying to get Stefan to wake up before Frederick does. She remembers the cut on her hand and shoves it in Stefan’s mouth. He tries to resist, but she reminds him that he needs strength and offers he wrist. He grabs on and starts drinking away, with veiny eyes.
Anna and Pearl return to the creepy house in the woods to find Ric and Damon preparing to ward off an attack. Ric is pissed that Damon lied about Pearl knowing how to find Isobel. Damon is pissed at Pearl for being unable to control the others. Pearl promises to take care of the vampires that kidnapped Stefan.
In the woods, Frederick is beginning to regain his strength. He grabs another branch and prepares to stake Stefan but Stefan now has the power of human blood pumping through his veins. He pins Frederick to a tree and stabs him repeatedly in the heart. Elena tries to calm him but he turns to her with his vamp face, frightening her. He realizes that he is freaking the fuck out and needs to chill.
At the Salvatore Boarding House, Stefan chides Elena for going into the creepy house after him. He apologizes for losing his shit and scaring her. She feels really bad for basically forcing her blood onto him, making him become another person. He thanks her for saving his life and tells her everything is going to be okay. They are interrupted by her cell phone ringing. It is Jeremy calling with bad news.
Everyone has convened at the Donovan house, sitting around being super depressed. Caroline brings coffee to Matt and asks if there is anything she can do to help him. He tells her that just wants to be left alone, but Elena busts into the house and this happens:
Damon joins Ric at the bar of the Mystic Grill. Damon is all excited that they got to have fun being badass. Ric is not as enthused, and punches him in the face.
Elena and Jeremy return to the Gilbert house. Jeremy goes upstairs and starts sifting through the animal attack articles that Anna printed. He tears them up until he comes across the newspaper article about Vicki being attacked. Suddenly Anna appears in his bedroom. He tells her that Vicki, his only reason for wanting to be turned, has really been dead the whole time. Anna is upset to learn that he wanted to be with someone else and flees.
At the Salvatore Boarding House, Damon enters Stefan’s room and sees a shit ton of empty blood bags. He finds Stefan sitting on the floor, in complete vamp face, draining another bag. This does not look good.
BODY COUNT: 5
Billy, Mrs. Gibbons, Jacob, Female Vamp, and Frederick
ANNA: “Look, I’m not gonna turn someone who learned everything he knows about vampires from Netflix.”
STEFAN: “What do you mean? I’m perfectly safe. I have Damon, the self-serving psychopath on my side.”
DAMON: “He’s the reason you live. His love lifts you up where you belong. I get it.”