Recap That Noise: Vampire Diaries, 1.14 Fool Me Once

Elena awakens in a strange bed. She’s in the grossest hotel room ever. Ben is supposed to be keeping watch over her, but has fallen asleep in a chair. Do vampires need sleep? Elena tries to sneak out of the room but Ben catches her when she goes to undo the chain bolt. Ben thinks he is compelling her to stay in the room but she is wearing her trusty vervain locket. Elena plays along with it long enough for him to turn his back but when she opens the door Anna is there. Anna shoves Elena into the bathroom and let’s Ben know he’s an idiot for forgetting about vervain. Super supportive girlfriend. Elena finds Bonnie unconscious in the bathtub.

Is it too much to ask that she stay like this?

At the Salvatore Boarding House, Damon is reading the grimoire when Stefan bursts into the room. He tells Damon that Anna has taken Elena. Damon is awesome, commenting on the 600 voicemails Stefan left him. Stefan has been searching all night long, and is worried that with Damon’s blood in her system she may have been killed and turned into a vampire. He begs Damon to tell him where Anna is staying but Damon still has hurt feelings from the night before. Stefan gives one of his SUPER SERIOUS speeches, telling Damon that his bad choices have erased any good left in him, causing Stefan to hate him. At least he admits that everything happening is his fault. Katherine was locked in the tomb because he broke Damon’s trust, causing Damon to become the person he is today. Damon accepts his apology but refuses to help him, telling him that he hopes Elena dies.

Elena puts a wet cloth on Bonnie’s head to wake her up. She then runs the tap so the vamps can’t hear her tell Bonnie about the grimoire and the witch needed for the tomb unsealing spell. Just as Bonnie is launching into freak out mode, Ben comes charging in. Bonnie is super sassy, telling him that she won’t help. He tells her Elena has been kidnapped as motivation for her cooperation. He is awesome when he tells her she shouldn’t be so desperate. He throws Elena into the room to talk to Anna. Anna is surprised by how much Elena looks like Katherine. Elena asks who she is and Anna replies that she’s practically dating Jeremy. Gag me.

Jeremy is studying at the Mystic Grill while Tyler and Matt discuss a party with ten kegs! I’ve been to many a house party but I’ve never seen ten kegs. That’s 1,650 beers. Seems like overkill. The party thrower is a douche named Duke. Tyler is a jerk to Jeremy who is eavesdropping on their conversation. Maybe Stefan has been giving him lessons on how to be a creeper. Caroline arrives and asks Jeremy where Elena is because she’s trying to make VERY SERIOUS party plans. She is super cute saying she won’t be one of those girls that disappears because she has a boyfriend. Nice way to subtly drop that in Caroline. She tells Jeremy that Duke is actually some guy named Bob (maybe?) who attends Duke, thus the nickname. She invites Jeremy to come to the party.

Caroline sees Matt and goes to give him an adorable speech about how she doesn’t want things to be weird now that they kissed. I think the speech is what makes it weird. She offers him an escape clause in case he is having second thoughts. Matt is good-natured about the whole thing, telling her that he wants in. They make plans to meet at Duke’s party.

Yes, I will attend a ten keg party with you. Thanks for asking.

Damon arrives at Grams’s house, looking for Bonnie. She is super sassy, telling him that she doesn’t knows where Bonnie is and she will be returning never. He’s all, “What did I do?” and she’s all, “Spirits talk”. She tells Damon to get off her porch and uses a spell to give him a killer migraine, telling him she is not Bonnie and won’t be trifled with. I love Grams when she’s extra fierce.

Back in the ugliest hotel room, Anna and Elena are discussing the tomb. Elena asks why she wants Katherine out. Anna is awesome, calling Damon a love-struck idiot and telling her that no one but him wants Katherine released. Her mother, Pearl is also locked in the tomb, thanks to Jonathan Gilbert. Elena is sorry for her loss but Anna is awesome again telling her they can “skip the dead mom bonding”. She took Elena as leverage and uses her cell phone to call Stefan. She wants him or Damon to meet her in the town square so they make plans to open the tomb. At the Salvatore Boarding House, Damon is delightful, telling Stefan he can beg all he wants but he doesn’t care.

Ben brings Bonnie out of the bathroom as Anna leaves for her meeting. She reminds him that compulsion won’t work but a spot of violence will. He tells Bonnie she’s the key to unlocking the tomb and ask how long she’s been a witch. Elena interrupts, asking for something to drink. He tells her there is water on the nightstand and Bonnie asks her for a sip. There is an exchange of meaningful glances so Bonnie obvs has some cockamamie plan. She throws the water at Ben and uses her mind to light it on fire. She makes a break for the door while he puts the flames out and grabs Elena. He threatens to hurt her unless Bonnie comes back inside.

Jeremy sees Anna in the town square and asks where she disappeared to the night before. Anna makes a lame excuse about telling Elena she had to bounce. He invites her to Duke’s Awesome 10 Keg Party! She jokes that he’s finally ready to date her. He refers to her as strange and lurky but apparently these are Emo Turn-Ons. She agrees to meet him there and leaves to meet a Salvatore on a park bench.

Damon appears out of nowhere and is awesome, asking if she has a date or just wants to kidnap all the Gilberts. She tells him about the party, which is right next to the tomb they plan on opening. Damon reiterates that he works alone but she has the witch which is kind of imperative. Damon warns her that Stefan will come after her for involving Elena. She tells him she will kill Elena if she doesn’t get what she wants. Damon considers this with a pained expression and agrees to help. That bitch is opening tonight!

Ben asks Bonnie if witches can die in what I can only assume is supposed to be a threatening way. Stefan charges in and lets ALL THE SUNSHINE in, burning Ben. He tells him to leave town after sundown or he’s dead meat.

And Stefan said, “Let there be light!”

At Grams’s house, Bonnie asks how she knew where they were. Her fear and anger helped increase her witchy powers and allowed her to do a locator spell. Bonnie apologizes and Grams is all, “Not as sorry as they’re gonna be.” Foreshadowing? Stefan tells them they have to stay at Grams’s house but she isn’t into the idea of being a prisoner. Plus, she can protect herself (or so she says). Elena tells them that they have to let Damon release Katherine or he’ll never stop trying. Bonnie isn’t cool with helping Damon do anything, much less release his honey. Grams is pissed that she’s being involved in vamp issues. She agrees to open the tomb as long as Stefan kills the rest of the vampires in it. Stefan doesn’t think Damon will go for it, but Elena has a plan. Uh oh.

Anna returns to the hotel room to find Ben cowering behind a bed. She is PISSED but realizes that Damon will open the tomb no matter what, she just has to be there when he does.

Elena goes to see Damon at the Salvatore Boarding House. He is surprised to see her until she tells him that Stefan rescued them. He is awesome, calling Stefan a white knight. She tells Damon that she convinced Bonnie to help him open the tomb. He is skeptical, given recent events. She tells him that they are both trying to protect the people they love and want the same thing. Damon is awesome again giving her the old “fool me once” bit. She asks why he didn’t compel her in Atlanta when they visited Bree. She says it’s because they have an understanding and even though her betrayal hurt, she is promising now to help him get Katherine. He still doesn’t believe her so she takes off her locket and tells him to compel her to tell the truth. Instead, he picks up her locket and puts it back on her, telling her that he didn’t use compulsion in Atlanta because they were having fun. He trusts her.

Trust has never looked so sexy.

Everyone is at Duke’s Amazing 10 Keg Party! Including Elena and Damon. Caroline is kinda lame, grabbing Matt’s hand pointedly when they see Elena. Lame girl move. Matt introduces himself to Damon but Damon is a douche and drags Elena away. Not cool bro. Stefan is with Bonnie and Grams at the tomb. He has been digging holes, clearing debris and setting up torches. All that real manly stuff. He also brought a shit-ton of gasoline so he can destroy some vamps. Soon Damon and Elena join them.

Jeremy arrives at Duke’s Amazing 10 Keg Party! and Tyler asks him for some weed. Dude, you have to work up to that. Jeremy reminds him that he’s a huge dickhead and Tyler is kind of awesome calling Jer the enemy of fun. Lucky for Jeremy, Anna appears. They go for a walk.

Grams and Bonnie have begun the spell to open the tomb, lighting fires and sprinkling tap water around. Damon pulls out a bag of blood that he brought along for Katherine. Stefan tells him he can’t wait to get rid of him. Such brotherly love.

Anna and Jeremy have made their way through the woods to the old cemetery, conveniently located next to the tomb. Anna reminds us all that she’s strange. Jeremy has a little sad, thinking about Vicki. He asks Anna to be part of his “non-scene”. She tells him she would love to but she and her mom are moving away. She says her goodbyes by making out. He sees her face turn but Ben shows up just in time to knock him out. They grab Jeremy to bring him into the tomb.

Tyler steals Matt’s beer and asks where Caroline is. Matt questions whether he can do the couple thing with clingy Caroline when she appears. Tyler heads out to grab more beer while Caroline and Matt have a talk. She apologizes for being lame and grabbing his hand in front of Elena and Damon. For her, it was less about making Elena jealous and more about showing Damon she was with a good guy. Matt forgives her because he is amazing.

Bottled beers on top of ten kegs? Fancy.

Bonnie and Grams are chanting their mystical door opening chant. Suddenly the flames in the torches shoot upward and the door to the tomb opens. Stefan runs to get the gasoline. Damon drags Elena into the tomb with him. Outside Stefan runs into Ben and Anna. She tells him that she’s going to get her mother and Ben is going to eat Jeremy. He can only stop one of them. Inside the tomb, Elena and Damon can hear the whispers of the desiccated vamps. Damon speeds off the find Katherine. Meanwhile, Anna has entered the crypt and Grams lets her inside the tomb. Back outside, Ben challenges Stefan to a fight and he replies by FIRING OFF A FLAMETHROWER. So long Ben.

That flamethrower is too legit.

Inside the tomb Elena is searching for Damon. She shines the world’s most rinky-dink flashlight around, stumbling over vamps left and right. Stefan enters the crypt and asks where Elena is. He is about the charge into the tomb after her when Grams tells him that the door has a seal on it, preventing vampires from exiting the tomb. Elena will be able to get out, but Damon and Katherine will be trapped in.

Anna is attempting to be menacing to Elena (unsuccessfully), when she comes across Pearl. She is pissed, blaming Stefan and Jonathan Gilbert for her mother’s ookiness. She tells Elena that she vowed to use Gilbert blood to bring her mother back to life and bites Elena’s wrist. Stefan hears her screaming and charges into the tomb. Bonnie tells Grams they have to bring the seal down to let Stefan out, even though Grams warns her they might not be strong enough to bring it back up.

Anna forces Elena’s bloody wrist to Pearls mouth. Stefan rushes in to save the day. Elena escapes, and as Anna is about to attack Stefan, her mother calls her name. The small sip of blood was enough to revive her. Elena escapes but Stefan is trapped behind the seal. Bonnie tells her they’re working to let him out. Elena tells Stefan they have to let Damon out. She promised. Stefan goes in search of Damon who has been unsuccessful in finding Katherine. Damon chucks the blood bag into a wall in frustration.

Pearl is in serious need of exfoliant.

Bonnie and Grams have lowered the barrier. Anna and Pearl come through and Anna promises Elena she won’t hurt Jeremy. Elena rushes back into the tomb to get Stefan and Damon. She begs Damon to come with them and they all make it through the barrier just in time.

Caroline leaves the bonfire to join Matt for a relationship talk by his truck. He asks her if she’s being real with her open and honest attitude. She tells him that she really wants them to work and doesn’t want to mess it up. Matt says he doesn’t want to mess it up either and they touch foreheads. Damn those two, making me feel the feels.

Elena and Stefan check on Jeremy, who is just starting to wake up outside the crypt. Damon walks out, feelings annihilated. Elena gives him a hug and tells him that she’s sorry. Stefan looks on with a worried expression.

Please show, no more feels.

Bonnie and Grams are back at her house, recovering. Bonnie is worried that the spell took much out of her. Meanwhile, Elena is checking up on Jeremy who doesn’t remember anything. Or does he? After she leaves for Bonnie’s, he gets on the Google, researching vampires.

Damon attacks Pearl and Anna in the ugliest hotel room. He threatens to kill Pearl in exchange for Anna’s lying about Katherine being in the tomb. Pearl tells him that the guard who locked them in the church in 1864 let Katherine go because he was obsessed with her. Anna last saw her in Chicago in 1983. Katherine knew where Damon was and didn’t care. Bitch.

Elena calls Stefan to let him know she’s at Bonnie’s. Stefan goes to check on Damon who is sitting in front of the fire having a sulk. Bonnie brings Grams some tea, but is unable to wake her. Elena calls an ambulance, while Bonnie desperately searches through the grimoire for a spell to bring her back.

I’m sorry we never got to chug large amounts of wine together.

The blood bag that Damon threw in the tomb landed on a vampire. He is able to push the door open and exit the tomb.

BODY COUNT: 2

Ben, Grams

QUOTABLES

ANNA: “Yeah, I think we’ll skip the ‘dead mom’ bonding so you can start serving a purpose.”

JEREMY: “And, uh, I like you, you’re fun. And you’re also kind of strange and lurky but, uh, I guess I like that too.”

NICE TO MEET YOU

Sterling Sulieman as Harper (aka Tomb Vampire)

MUSIC

“Can’t Fight It” by Oh Mercy. Caroline and Jeremy chat at the Mystic Grill.

“Before It Gets Better” by Earlimart. Matt and Caroline discuss their relationship status.

“Answer To Yourself” by The Soft Pack. Duke’s Amazing 10 Keg Party!

“In a Cave” by Tokyo Police Club. Tyler asks Jeremy for weed; Jeremy and Anna go for a walk.

“Every Summer” by U.S. Royalty. Jeremy and Anna kiss in the cemetery.

“Out Tonight” by The Steps. Caroline apologizes to Matt at the party.

“All You Do Is Talk” by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Matt and Caroline talk about their relationship.

“Run” by Leona Lewis. Bonnie finds Grams dead.

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