I have a deep, abiding love for the movie Teen Witch. My childhood best friend and I used to watch it every time it came on TV to the point where I could probably sit down and write out the complete script. As a teenager I felt a lot like Louise- a kind of geeky outsider who was generally okay with herself but wanted to go to parties and have a hot football playing boyfriend. Sadly, I did not discover that I was a witch who would gain my powers on my sixteenth birthday, nor did we have hot guys on our football team. I did, however, learn that I am awesome just being myself and by the end of the movie, Louise does too.
I basically summed it up in my intro but to reiterate: Louise Miller is an average teenager who wants to be popular and date Brad, the big man on campus. On her sixteenth birthday she discovers that she is a witch and can use her new-found powers to gain popularity and get the boy.
WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH
Robyn Lively as Louise is just about the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my life. She is cute as a button and I have a total crush on her. While most girls would become total bitches once they gained powers/popularity, she remains a sweetheart throughout the movie.
The soundtrack is fantastic! The score is jazzy in a completely 80’s way, and the songs are almost all dance music.
- “All Washed Up” – Larry Weir
- “Dream Lover” – Cathy Car
- “Finest Hour” – Cindy Valentine featuring Larry Weir
- “High School Blues” – The Puppy Boys
- “I Keep on Falling” – Blue Future
- “I Like Boys” – Elizabeth & The Weirz
- “Get Up and Move” – Cathy Car
- “Much too Much” – Cathy Car
- “Never Gonna Be” (opening sequence) – Lori Ruso
- “Never Gonna Be” (concert version) – Cindy Valentine
- “Popular Girl” – Theresa & The Weirz
- “Rap” – Philip McKean & Larry Weir
- “Shame” – The Weirz
- “Top That” – The Michael Terry Rappers
- “In Your Arms” – Richard Elliot
The scene where the cheerleaders perform their new cheer and it’s the song “I Like Boys”. The “cheer” includes a bit where two girls pretend to be one giant person. It is super cheesy and I absolutely adore it.
The performance of “Top That”. This rap is the best thing that ever happened to my life. I will bust it out without notice and I bet you will too once you have heard it’s amazingness.
Louise’s outfits. Once she gains her powers, I pretty much want to own all of her clothes. My favorites include the outfit she wears to the first dance (oh yes, there are multiple dances) and the one she wears while studying with Brad.
Jerky teacher as a voodoo doll. Mr. Weaver is a total douchebag. He reads a page from Louise’s diary to her entire English class and makes fun of her for having unused birth control in her purse. Thankfully, he gets his comeuppance when she makes a voodoo doll that actual works. Who hasn’t wanted to do this to at least one of their teachers?
Louise’s brother Richie. He is a gross creep but also hilarious. Pre-powers he is a total nightmare, reading Louise’s diary and eating under her bed. Ew. Post-powers he is terrified of her which results in him bringing her breakfast in bed and ironing her homework. My childhood bestie and I still quote him to each other.
WHERE HAVE I SEEN YOU BEFORE?
- Jessica Andrews in The Karate Kid, Part III
- Lana Budding Milford on Twin Peaks
- Nurse Michele Faber on Doogie Howser, M.D.
- Kyle Parks on Sisters
- Dick Harrison on Beverly Hills, 90210
- Jeff Baylor on Melrose Place
- Tim in River’s Edge
- Josh Carson in And You Thought Your Parents Were Weird
- Annie Tortelli on Cheers
- Robin Kellerman on Dirty Dancing
- Tangina in Poltergeist
- Organist in Sixteen Candles
- Dr. Katarina Kuntzler in Southland Tales
- Stacy in Baby Boom
- Toni on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
- Jenna in Flour Babies
- Cindy Campbell on Married People
The complete movie is available to watch on youtube. Enjoy!