Recap That Noise: Vampire Diaries, 1.08 162 Candles

Stefan is moping around the Salvatore Boarding House when he begins to hear strange noises. He goes to investigate the cause and surprise! Who should be in the house but his very best vampire friend Lexi. She is here to help Stefan celebrate his 162nd birthday.

Stefan catches Lexi up on all the Mystic Falls gossip. She invites him to ditch town and attend a Bon Jovi concert with her. They once spent a crazy weekend with him that I would love to see in a flashback. Stefan with 80’s hair, sunglasses at night. Someone please make this happen. Katherine is mentioned and Lexi is awesome saying she would have kicked her ass if they ever met and referring to Damon as a little bitch. So far, I’m a huge fan of Lexi. Lexi doesn’t have a daylight ring so she gets to spend the day lounging around the house while Stefan runs errands.

Can we please be besties?

Sheriff Forbes meets with Mystic Fall’s finest to discuss Vicki’s disappearance. Damon’s compulsion seems to have worked with Jeremy parroting almost verbatim what Elena wanted him to know. Neither Matt, Stefan or Elena can/will provide her with any more info. Outside of the police station Matt gives Stefan the cold shoulder, believing him to be instrumental in Vicki taking off. Stefan and Elena have an awkward moment as she exits with Jeremy and Jenna. She reiterates that she can’t be with him and asks him to stay away.

Lexi awakens to find Damon in bed with her and is not pleased. They have excellent chemistry, trading barbs back and forth. Lexi threatens to kill Damon if he messes up her time with Stefan. And she means serious business. Not only is she older than the boys, but faster and stronger.

Bonnie is still hanging out with Grams. Her dad doesn’t like it when she visits her grandmother because she is teaching her about her family heritage. Lame. She tells Bonnie she needs to wear Caroline’s crystal (well, Damon’s) because it is a sacred family heirloom that found her. She actually tells her not to give it back to Caroline. Not cool Grams. You shouldn’t encourage stealing between friends.

Grams takes her ugly necklaces VERY seriously.

Elena and Jenna are wallowing on the couch at the Gilbert house. Jenna was dumped by Logan, receiving an email from him saying he left town. Curious. I wasn’t aware that corpses could send emails. Jeremy asks them to keep it down because he’s doing homework. Looks like Damon might have thrown a little extra compulsion in there. Too bad he didn’t tell him to go get a haircut.

Damon stops by the police station with a box of vervain for Sheriff Forbes. I’m not sure what his end game is but he seems to be making nice with the members of the Founder’s Council. Sheriff Forbes questions if “the” vampire can walk in the daylight and tells Damon they are going to start looking into those who are new to town. Like the Salvatore brothers perhaps? Damon offers to help in any way that he can.

Bonnie visits the still wallowing Elena who has shifted to hiding under the covers in bed. Bonnie crawls in with her while Elena tells her that she broke up with Stefan. Bonnie apologizes for sucking and cheers Elena up by cutting open her down pillow. Doesn’t she know how much those things cost? She swears Elena to secrecy and uses her MAGICS to float feathers around the room. Elena is super pumped!

Electric in the air!

Caroline runs into Damon outside of the Mystic Grill. She’s pissed, to say the least. He compels her to forget her anger and she is thrilled to see him! He tells her to throw a huge party at the Grill tonight and get his crystal back from Bonnie.

Stefan has returned to the Salvatore Boarding House only for Lexi to start grilling him on Elena and the vampire sex she thinks they should be having:

“You’ll rock her world so hard with your vamp sex, she’ll be yours forever.”

Stefan tells her that he doesn’t want to trick Elena. He wants her to want him. Lexi takes a time out to have a blood bag which makes Stefan uncomfortable. Apparently he cannot have even one drop of human blood without losing it. Lucky for him Damon appears to change the subject. He tells them about the party at the Mystic Grill and makes a good point about them needing to blend in.

At the Gilbert house, Elena asks Bonnie why she told her about her secret magic. Bonnie tells her she couldn’t keep secrets from her best friend. Guess Bonnie is a better friend than Elena. Ouch.

Lexi, freshly showered, is walking around the Salvatore Boarding House in a towel. Stefan is suspicious of the party because Damon wants them to attend. Lexi is all, what kind of trouble can he cause in a huge group of people while in a public place? Has she met Damon? She reminisces about when Stefan used to be fun and slaps his ass in the way that only a friend can. He jumps in the shower. Conveniently Elena chooses this moment to ring the doorbell. Lexi shouts for her to come in and awkwardness ensues. Lexi is stunned and speechless, thinking that Elena is Katherine. Elena is embarrassed and jealous, thinking that Lexi is some new girl Stefan is boning. Elena bails, hoping to make it all end.

Not a great first impression.

Lexi is awesome as she confronts Stefan, holding up Katherine’s photo while telling him she just met Elena. Stefan tells her that they’re different people, and he doesn’t want to associate Elena with Katherine. Lexi makes the best expressions during this conversation. Stefan is quite frankly adorable as he goes on to describe Elena is the warmest terms and give a sort of aw shucks grin when Lexi asks if he is in love with her.

The party is in full swing at the Mystic Grill. Just how dull is this town that everyone was free to come to a party planned that afternoon? Caroline is surveying the scene, quite proud of herself, when she spots Damon at the bar. He is a dick when she reveals that she doesn’t have his crystal. Lexi enters wearing a super cute outfit! She tells Damon that Stefan is meeting her there and then blows him off when he asks if he can get her a drink. The girl has moxie.

Stefan arrives at Elena’s to explain that Lexi is nothing more than an old vampire friend. He asks why she stopped by and she says it was a mistake. He wants her to talk to him but she can’t. All the secret keeping is making her feel all the feelings but the only person she can share it with is Stefan. She is kind of bitchy when she says this. Stefan is a sweetheart, telling her that she can come to him with anything; he’ll always be there for her. Awww. In a last ditch effort he invites her to the party but she declines even though it’s his birthday. Elena blows.

Way to crush a man’s birthday dreams.

Back at the Mystic Grill, Caroline sees Bonnie wearing the crystal and asks for it back. Bonnie tells her she can’t have it but doesn’t give her a reason why. Caroline tries to take it but gets burned. Bonnie is all, “You were really going to pull it from my neck? What’s wrong with you?” Um, you stole bitch. Stefan arrives and runs into Matt, apologizing for the mess with Vicki. Matt has a sad over his sister AND mother being miserable human beings. Damon gets pissed that Caroline couldn’t get the necklace, calling her stupid, shallow and useless. He is officially the worst. Sexy, but the worst. He steps outside for some fresh air and attacks a couple making out.

Lexi and Stefan are shooting pool when Elena shows up. Guess her plan to stay in for the night was a bust. Damon come along and they trade barbs. Elena asks what he did to Jeremy that suddenly has him wanting to do homework. He says he took away his suffering and leaves it at that. From worst to best in two minutes. That’s Damon for you. Caroline approaches Bonnie and is all, I hope you’re happy because Damon yelled at me. Caroline’s life kind of sucks. Outside, a police officer finds the couple Damon attacked. She is still alive but he is definitely dead.

I want in on this party.

Lexi stops Elena to have a little chat about their boy. Elena has noticed that Stefan is uptight around everyone except for Lexi. Lexi assures her that it comes with time. She tells a story about the human love of her life and how they made thing work because of all the love. Elena seems to be in a better place after their talk. Lexi returns to the pool table and Stefan is creepy, letting her know that he was listening in on their entire conversation. She is adorable saying, “I was feeling epic. Whatever.” Once again, please be my BFF.

Sheriff Forbes has arrived to contain the situation Damon created. She demands the girl tell her everything she saw.

Elena approaches Stefan at the pool table, suddenly a lot more open to talking to him. Caroline falls into the booth next to Matt, totally wasted. He is very sweet, getting her coffee and listening to her problems. She is a huge mess but on the up side, she has an excellent bird tattoo on her inner wrist. Matt escorts her home, actually carrying her in his arms. My hero. They bump in Sheriff Forbes outside who is less than pleased to see her daughter drunk but allows them to leave.

Knight in flannel armor.

Lexi confront Damon about why he’s really in Mystic Falls. He tells her he has a diabolical master plan but won’t share what it consists of. Meanwhile, Sheriff Forbes has brought the female inside to locate the vampire who attacked her. She points toward the bar where Damon and Lexi are talking. Sheriff Forbes plunges a needle full of vervain into Lexi’s side and her officers carry her outside. Stefan and Elena see the whole thing and try to follow them outside but are thwarted by the officers guarding the doors. Once outside Lexi vamps out, throwing the cops off of her. Sheriff Forbes shoots her several times, but it barely slows her down. Suddenly Damon appears, staking her in the chest, whispering that this is part of his plan. Stefan and Elena look on in horror as her body goes all veiny and grey.

R.I.P. Lexi

The bartender is arrested for serving minors. Sheriff Forbes thanks Damon for his part in the MURDER of my favorite character. Turns out Damon compelled the girl he attacked to say that Lexi was the killer vampire. I am so disappointed in Damon right now that I just can’t even.

Matt tuck Caroline into her bed, even making sure to take her shoes off. She breaks my heart asking Matt if he ever feels that nobody loves him. She grabs his hand as he goes to leave, asking him to stay with her. He crawls into bed with her for some fully clothed, gentlemanly cuddling.

Elena chases after Stefan as he charges angrily away from the Grill. He is pissed that Damon has killed his nephew/uncle, teacher, Vicki and now his bestie. Elena tells him that he can’t kill Damon because it will destroy him. She wants to be there for him, but Stefan tells her she was right to stay away from him.

Damon is drinking alone at home when Stefan arrives and we have Salvatore fisticuffs! Stefan is doing a lot better in his fight, fueled by his intense anger. Damon tells him that he did this for Stefan to get the council off his trail. Stefan stakes him! But not in the heart. He tells him that he is sparing his life because Damon saved his. He storms out, leaving Damon to unstake himself.

Bonnie is having a crazy intense dream that she is running through the woods. Her witchy ancestor Emily appears, telling her, “It’s coming.” Bonnie wakes up alone in the cemetery.

BODY COUNT: 2

Male half of the couple in the alley, Lexi

MUSIC:

“Happy Birthday” by The Birthday Massacre. Lexi arrives at the Salvatore Boarding House.

“Thinking of You” by Pete Yorn. Lexi tells Stefan to prepare for his party.

“Feel It In My Bones” by Tiesto feat. Tegan and Sara. Party at the Mystic Grill; Damon asks Caroline about his crystal.

“Escape Me” by Tiesto fat. C. C. Sheffield. Caroline asks Bonnie for the crystal back.

“Tokyo” by Telekinesis. Damon and Elena chat while Stefan and Lexi shoot pool.

“Too Close” by Mike Sheridan and Mads Langer. Lexi and Elena discuss Stefan.

“All the World” by Fauxliage. Stefan and Elena talk at the pool table.

“Love In Your Head” by The Black Box Revolution. Lexi asks Damon why he returned to Mystic Falls.

“Yet” by Switchfoot. Caroline asks Matt to stay over.

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